you guys.

[holykeebler216]

im not sure how to feel, but one thing is for sure.
i feel like i'm going to be sick.

i'm sad to leave, excited to go, happy to have the chance, and scared shitless all at once. its...really hard not to cry?
its just...so different from what i expected.
you cant know until it's right in your fucking face
and you're like,

shit. what have i done.

what have i signed up for?

i'm like...i have no words to express the gripping terror and the struggle to find the courage to not turn back.

i guess this is somewhat what if feels like to be a bride and all you want to do is take off your heels and run.

i'm on a train and i'ts going a hundred and forty miles per hour and there's a brick wall ahead and i can't jump.
i'll be in incheon airport. do you know how BIG that airport is?
i've been through customs once, with my parents, when i was 9.
i'm going to be picked up by my old korean teacher's husband. i haven't even met this guy.
i want to cry, barf, and pee all at the same time.

it's a really weird feeling.
i don't particularly like it.

and i just had a stress breakout in the middle of my nose.
and i put toothpaste on it.
goddammit. my life.

this would be

a million times better

if i had my best friend with me.

i didnt think it would be like this.
pray for me.