Super Junior; QMi; Smells Like China
Title: Smells Like China
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: QMi
Word Count: 987
Rating: PG
Summary: When Kyuhyun goes to China, things change.
Genre: romance/fluff/a tiny bit of angst (sorry)
A/N: so i don't know where this came from, and i know it's just about the worst timing ever for people who prefer kyumin, and for that im sorry, buuuut it just kinda happened. see, i wrote a note on my facebook, describing how fandom felt, and i liked some of the bits i wrote, and it gave a total like, *FLASH* qmi scenario plays in mind *FLASH* thing, and its been sitting in my head for 2 days and i just wrote it and blargh here it is. I'm sorry min, you know i love you.
I'm sorry lysa, i promise i'll write you a really nice kyumin smut to make up for it ㅠ___ㅠ ♥
When Kyuhyun goes to China, Sungmin cries.
He doesn't show it, and no one can hear, because he sits on the roof, knees tucked into his chest, and all he does is stare at the inky blue and lets the tears roll down. He’s not smiling but he’s not sobbing, he’s just sitting there, and yes, he is crying. He sits there and thinks about how good it feels, the pressure in his chest that's been there over the past few weeks washing away on the cool breeze, tiny salty drops whisked away on the wind. Maybe to China. He doesn’t know. He closes his eyes and he thinks he hears a plane, even though the dorm is miles away from the airport and he can still hear the slam of the car door in his ears from 5 minutes ago. Still, he waits until you must be gone, and he waits until the tears are dry and stiff on his cheeks, and then he gets up.
It’s time to go back down.
***
When Kyuhyun lands, he lands hard.
You land and you stumble and you fall.
Smack! when your feet hit the ground
When your knees buckle
When you collide into Zhou Mi’s chest.
And then you lay there and you breathe in, deep, and Zhou Mi smells like China. You think that maybe you’re okay with that. Even though you were ungraceful, you think maybe you’re okay with that, too. You close your eyes and you inhale.
You haven’t left the airport yet.
***
When Kyuhyun falls, it’s a long way to the bottom.
When you fell in love with Sungmin it was the same way. You think that the bottom may have been called China, though, because your feet touch the ground and something shifts, something changes, and the huge, tall, rabbit-hole walls around you crumble and you’re no longer surrounded. Instead, you look down and at the tip of your toes there’s a small hole, just like before. You lean over to look into the dark circle and you think for a minute before you edge just a little bit closer, curious.
After two weeks, you don’t mean to, but you lose your balance and you fall again.
At first you think it feels the same, but it’s different. This time it’s different because it doesn’t feel right at first, it feels awkward and ungainly and fragile, standing on spindly legs that buckle every now and again in uncertainty. But you get the hang of it, and when you do your stomach flips because it’s different, and you don’t handle different well, you don’t really know what to do. Everything is wrong, a contradiction to everything you’re familiar with, and you are good in most situations but not this one.
Not this one because in this one, you feel like you’re breathing too hard, even though you can’t seem to catch your breath. You feel like you’ve swallowed too much water, and it’s filling up your lungs and your chest hurts and you don't know what it is because the last time you felt way that was with…well, a long time ago. You panic, because you’re confused but you’re excited, sinking and rising all at the same time and you're drowning and drowning and down and down and down when really your head is just breaking the surface because wait, you haven't even gotten to the good part, you don't know just yet, there's so much more.
So you give up, lift your arms in defeat and sink beneath the surface and you drink it in.
***
Kyuhyun doesn’t know how to do this any more.
The light touches, the giving and the taking and the secret smiles. You don’t remember how to do it and you get frustrated because you should know, you always know, and this time you don’t. You were always the one who knew.
It’s okay, because Zhou Mi knows. He smiles at you and he takes your hand, and he shows you how again.
Sometimes, you think that maybe you shouldn’t have let him, maybe you should have said no, it’s okay, if I go back I’ll remember. You don’t go back, at least not for a while. You tug at his hand, half-heartedly, and you’ve never felt more stupid in your life. You are supposed to be leading. But you relax, and you breathe, and you follow, you follow and you get pulled deeper and deeper down the hole. After awhile, it’s all you can do to keep up, and you go faster and faster and faster. And even as you stumble after him, desperate for more, you look back down the tunnel, back at the little square of light where you stood as the old walls crumbled and you think "just a little bit farther, and then I'll go back", when you know even if you do it wont be the same again. At this time, you just shrug and keep following, keep chasing, and the throbbing in your stomach gets worse as you know you're going too deep but you ignore it, and you ignore the signs because you’re changing.
No, you’ve already changed. From the first unfamiliar, ungraceful step, as you lost your balance getting off the plane, you changed.
***
Kyuhyun has that feeling.
The one that bleeds from your heart and kind of reaches down and tugs at your stomach while stretching up and tightening your throat, the one that makes it hard to breathe, wrapping around your heart and your lungs and your ribs and your entire chest in general and squeezing.
That was Sungmin’s Feeling.
You don’t know Whose Feeling it is anymore, but you think if feelings had a smell (and how ridiculous a notion, you really are losing your touch here), if they had a smell, you’d think it would smell like China.
***
started/finished: 12/24/08
I don't think she reads my stuff, but I read hers, and I know meitachi likes Qmi so, if she happens to stumble upon this, I hope she likes it.
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: QMi
Word Count: 987
Rating: PG
Summary: When Kyuhyun goes to China, things change.
Genre: romance/fluff/a tiny bit of angst (sorry)
A/N: so i don't know where this came from, and i know it's just about the worst timing ever for people who prefer kyumin, and for that im sorry, buuuut it just kinda happened. see, i wrote a note on my facebook, describing how fandom felt, and i liked some of the bits i wrote, and it gave a total like, *FLASH* qmi scenario plays in mind *FLASH* thing, and its been sitting in my head for 2 days and i just wrote it and blargh here it is. I'm sorry min, you know i love you.
I'm sorry lysa, i promise i'll write you a really nice kyumin smut to make up for it ㅠ___ㅠ ♥
When Kyuhyun goes to China, Sungmin cries.
He doesn't show it, and no one can hear, because he sits on the roof, knees tucked into his chest, and all he does is stare at the inky blue and lets the tears roll down. He’s not smiling but he’s not sobbing, he’s just sitting there, and yes, he is crying. He sits there and thinks about how good it feels, the pressure in his chest that's been there over the past few weeks washing away on the cool breeze, tiny salty drops whisked away on the wind. Maybe to China. He doesn’t know. He closes his eyes and he thinks he hears a plane, even though the dorm is miles away from the airport and he can still hear the slam of the car door in his ears from 5 minutes ago. Still, he waits until you must be gone, and he waits until the tears are dry and stiff on his cheeks, and then he gets up.
It’s time to go back down.
***
When Kyuhyun lands, he lands hard.
You land and you stumble and you fall.
Smack! when your feet hit the ground
When your knees buckle
When you collide into Zhou Mi’s chest.
And then you lay there and you breathe in, deep, and Zhou Mi smells like China. You think that maybe you’re okay with that. Even though you were ungraceful, you think maybe you’re okay with that, too. You close your eyes and you inhale.
You haven’t left the airport yet.
***
When Kyuhyun falls, it’s a long way to the bottom.
When you fell in love with Sungmin it was the same way. You think that the bottom may have been called China, though, because your feet touch the ground and something shifts, something changes, and the huge, tall, rabbit-hole walls around you crumble and you’re no longer surrounded. Instead, you look down and at the tip of your toes there’s a small hole, just like before. You lean over to look into the dark circle and you think for a minute before you edge just a little bit closer, curious.
After two weeks, you don’t mean to, but you lose your balance and you fall again.
At first you think it feels the same, but it’s different. This time it’s different because it doesn’t feel right at first, it feels awkward and ungainly and fragile, standing on spindly legs that buckle every now and again in uncertainty. But you get the hang of it, and when you do your stomach flips because it’s different, and you don’t handle different well, you don’t really know what to do. Everything is wrong, a contradiction to everything you’re familiar with, and you are good in most situations but not this one.
Not this one because in this one, you feel like you’re breathing too hard, even though you can’t seem to catch your breath. You feel like you’ve swallowed too much water, and it’s filling up your lungs and your chest hurts and you don't know what it is because the last time you felt way that was with…well, a long time ago. You panic, because you’re confused but you’re excited, sinking and rising all at the same time and you're drowning and drowning and down and down and down when really your head is just breaking the surface because wait, you haven't even gotten to the good part, you don't know just yet, there's so much more.
So you give up, lift your arms in defeat and sink beneath the surface and you drink it in.
***
Kyuhyun doesn’t know how to do this any more.
The light touches, the giving and the taking and the secret smiles. You don’t remember how to do it and you get frustrated because you should know, you always know, and this time you don’t. You were always the one who knew.
It’s okay, because Zhou Mi knows. He smiles at you and he takes your hand, and he shows you how again.
Sometimes, you think that maybe you shouldn’t have let him, maybe you should have said no, it’s okay, if I go back I’ll remember. You don’t go back, at least not for a while. You tug at his hand, half-heartedly, and you’ve never felt more stupid in your life. You are supposed to be leading. But you relax, and you breathe, and you follow, you follow and you get pulled deeper and deeper down the hole. After awhile, it’s all you can do to keep up, and you go faster and faster and faster. And even as you stumble after him, desperate for more, you look back down the tunnel, back at the little square of light where you stood as the old walls crumbled and you think "just a little bit farther, and then I'll go back", when you know even if you do it wont be the same again. At this time, you just shrug and keep following, keep chasing, and the throbbing in your stomach gets worse as you know you're going too deep but you ignore it, and you ignore the signs because you’re changing.
No, you’ve already changed. From the first unfamiliar, ungraceful step, as you lost your balance getting off the plane, you changed.
***
Kyuhyun has that feeling.
The one that bleeds from your heart and kind of reaches down and tugs at your stomach while stretching up and tightening your throat, the one that makes it hard to breathe, wrapping around your heart and your lungs and your ribs and your entire chest in general and squeezing.
That was Sungmin’s Feeling.
You don’t know Whose Feeling it is anymore, but you think if feelings had a smell (and how ridiculous a notion, you really are losing your touch here), if they had a smell, you’d think it would smell like China.
***
started/finished: 12/24/08
I don't think she reads my stuff, but I read hers, and I know meitachi likes Qmi so, if she happens to stumble upon this, I hope she likes it.