school, just as fun as it always was
im studying for finals and i cant wait to be done...i need like 98's to get good grades but cant help but not study...i know i should but i just cant. i need to do well its college and this is the easiest semester so if i do bad here then think how bad i will do in the future. I just really want to do well, with all the bad things happening i want something good to add to them, maybe balance it all out or just help...all these christmas shows show boyfriends and families and everyone being with the one they love...i love john and we are hanging out on christmas but its not the same. i just want last christmas back...what is it about the holidays that i get screwed over on...ive come to relize its not the boys fault, because ive been blaming all of them, its gotta be me. i have now relized it, i havent come to figure out what it is but i sure hope i can find out soon so i can change and become likeable not just for a week or a year but for a long time...aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! well heres to the happy holidays and another poopy christmas to my love life, i just want it to always be like last christmas! guess ill go to bed with that thought! good night...