It's been awhile.......
Ok. Sorry to all of you who read my last journal entry. I'd been marking all of my entries as "friends only" and narrowed down my friends list so only like 3 people would be able to read it... only one of which actually did. I think some of the things I said were kind of degrading and I hope I didn't offend anyone. Here's to my first intentionally public entry in.. a while.
Passion was... interesting. I didn't find God where I expected, but found Him lots in things I didn't know were a part of it, and places I didn't expect to. For those of you who will never experience Chris Tomlin's "party" song... wow. Haha. It was more the things I learned about myself while being there that I'm thankful for. I realized that I've grown immensely in interacting with people and with leadership. That was a very exciting moment. I realized the "words" that defined my passion, direction, whatever, are "growth" and "encouragment". I realized that my passion for the small groups and student ministry practically encompasses me. I realized that God is revealing things from the outside in. I may feel like the things He has me doing are random, insignifcant, and/or unrelated... but I have the feeling that God will blow me away and bring them all together.
I talked to Daniel today to tell him that I definitely wanted to be involved in small groups still, and unless someone else stepped up, still be the small group coach and set up a schedule to visit each group and do all that that entails. I explained that I'll continue to be involved in youth regardless of what I do during internship at church, though I may not be there EVERY youth service, I'd make sure he always knew what was going on. He seemed excited which makes me happy.
Well, so I did ONE of the things that I felt like I should do since the conference. I also feel like I should make a list of goals, start having quiet times in the mornings, be more assertive in ministry and related areas, simplify/continually have an organized car and room (no laughing... I'm so so serious, times are a-changing!), "dialogue" with God, set aside time to develop the things I know I should and start accepting them as a part of my future instead of being scared, never say "not now" Lord, but immediately listen when I feel He's telling me to do something... one by one. :)
We started a new class today. Introduction to Hermeneutics. I'm super excited. It's tougher material than we've had so far, but I think it'll be easier to study for... and I love that there are specific answers. "Literal" and "Overly-Analytical" are pleased! Annie and Paul joined our class today and I'm sooooo excited to have them there. I feel like between them and Laura they bring so much wisdom and love to the class... I don't even know how to describe it, but I'm happy.
In general... I feel God more than ever before. I recognize that I don't KNOW anything (except the God things that He's shown us in His truth :) I think I'm going to to the degree program at Vanguard in the fall. I already have all my general ed done. I'd go once a week and finish my BA in Religion with an emphasis in ministry and leadership in 2 years, while continuing to intern at South Hills. Sounds perfect to me. I thought I had to wait until I finished Catalyst... so this is all very exciting to me. I've gotten closer with Amanda lately and I'm sooooo thankful for that. She has such a heart for the Lord and for righteousness and mercy... it's such a blessing in my life! I feel excited for the first time in a while. Just in general. Like I can feel God right behind me in almost every step I take. Just waiting for things to unfold. I like that feeling.
There's something else in my life that confuses me, but at the same time makes perfect sense. I know God is showing me significance in a certain area. It's very different, but quite interesting and intriguing to me. If you guys could pray for guidance in that, that would be wonderful and totally appreciated.
Alright, enough for the longest entry of the century... let me know if I can be praying for you for ANYTHING, even if I haven't talked to you in forever!
Passion was... interesting. I didn't find God where I expected, but found Him lots in things I didn't know were a part of it, and places I didn't expect to. For those of you who will never experience Chris Tomlin's "party" song... wow. Haha. It was more the things I learned about myself while being there that I'm thankful for. I realized that I've grown immensely in interacting with people and with leadership. That was a very exciting moment. I realized the "words" that defined my passion, direction, whatever, are "growth" and "encouragment". I realized that my passion for the small groups and student ministry practically encompasses me. I realized that God is revealing things from the outside in. I may feel like the things He has me doing are random, insignifcant, and/or unrelated... but I have the feeling that God will blow me away and bring them all together.
I talked to Daniel today to tell him that I definitely wanted to be involved in small groups still, and unless someone else stepped up, still be the small group coach and set up a schedule to visit each group and do all that that entails. I explained that I'll continue to be involved in youth regardless of what I do during internship at church, though I may not be there EVERY youth service, I'd make sure he always knew what was going on. He seemed excited which makes me happy.
Well, so I did ONE of the things that I felt like I should do since the conference. I also feel like I should make a list of goals, start having quiet times in the mornings, be more assertive in ministry and related areas, simplify/continually have an organized car and room (no laughing... I'm so so serious, times are a-changing!), "dialogue" with God, set aside time to develop the things I know I should and start accepting them as a part of my future instead of being scared, never say "not now" Lord, but immediately listen when I feel He's telling me to do something... one by one. :)
We started a new class today. Introduction to Hermeneutics. I'm super excited. It's tougher material than we've had so far, but I think it'll be easier to study for... and I love that there are specific answers. "Literal" and "Overly-Analytical" are pleased! Annie and Paul joined our class today and I'm sooooo excited to have them there. I feel like between them and Laura they bring so much wisdom and love to the class... I don't even know how to describe it, but I'm happy.
In general... I feel God more than ever before. I recognize that I don't KNOW anything (except the God things that He's shown us in His truth :) I think I'm going to to the degree program at Vanguard in the fall. I already have all my general ed done. I'd go once a week and finish my BA in Religion with an emphasis in ministry and leadership in 2 years, while continuing to intern at South Hills. Sounds perfect to me. I thought I had to wait until I finished Catalyst... so this is all very exciting to me. I've gotten closer with Amanda lately and I'm sooooo thankful for that. She has such a heart for the Lord and for righteousness and mercy... it's such a blessing in my life! I feel excited for the first time in a while. Just in general. Like I can feel God right behind me in almost every step I take. Just waiting for things to unfold. I like that feeling.
There's something else in my life that confuses me, but at the same time makes perfect sense. I know God is showing me significance in a certain area. It's very different, but quite interesting and intriguing to me. If you guys could pray for guidance in that, that would be wonderful and totally appreciated.
Alright, enough for the longest entry of the century... let me know if I can be praying for you for ANYTHING, even if I haven't talked to you in forever!