phew!
Today was my last day of Summer I classes. I took my finals (which I passed with an A) and I also passed both of my classes with an A. Well, not yet. I have yet to write my paper that was due today for Jazz class, but Mr. T said as long as I have e-mailed it to him, he'll grade it and count it towards my grade. So yay. It shouldn't be too hard. I should have done it last night, but there was some drama at home. We fought again. I left - again. I went to my mom's and took Ali with me, along with clothes and my school stuff and laptop. I talked to my mom a bit when I got there then went to my old room and was real upset about the fight and confused and what not. Then I knocked out. I had set my alarm for a little after midnight so that I could continue working on my paper, but I didn't even hear it go off. I'll get it done and in tonight though, for sure. I can't afford to lose my A! =]
Anyhow, I have no clue what will happen with Jessie and I. She wants to be with me. She even said that overall she thinks she is really good to me. But by her saying that, is she saying that overall I'm not good for her? Sure I get upset with her, but I don't think I'm BAD to her. And I've actually been doing fairly well with my temper lately. For the past two or three days I've held my tongue and kept to myself mostly. She said I don't seem happy, and I guess, really, I'm not. I mean, I'm happy with myself and my progress in school and at work but I guess lately with her I'm not that happy...not as happy as I used to be. I don't know what it is. All I know is that Summer II starts on Monday and I really need to focus and do well because I want to join Psi Beta and I need a good grade in Psychology 101 in order to apply for membership. I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on getting mad at her and fighting with her. Some times she just needs to realize that I need my time to myself sometimes. I don't want to live life fighting with her. I figure, if it's going to work between us, then great! If not, then why put so much negative energy into it? If we break up, I want to be remembered, But not as the crazy bitch she dated. I want to be remembered as the one who got away from her.
I guess in order to do that, I need to find ways to remain calm and even-tempered.
take walks
read
sing
dance
draw
embroider
write
work out
laugh
love
smile
meditate
inhale...exhale
educate myself
get lost in my own thoughts
imagine
be free
Life shouldn't be so problematic. It should be fun. I want to be happy.