de-aged Sulu fic
Someone wanted Kirk/Sulu with de-aged Sulu this weekend and a couple of people filled it before I finished mine, so I threw in some Chekov for good measure.
Title: Code 78
Fandom: Star Trek
Pairing: Kirk/Sulu, Sulu/Chekov (to a lesser degree)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~5,000
Summary: Sulu gets de-aged and Kirk and Chekov volunteer to take care of him until he's cured.
A code 78 is a de-aging, and no one serving on the Enterprise has ever seen one in person before. They all studied them at the Academy: appropriate protocol, potential solutions, and lasting psychological impact, but nobody expected to witness one in their lifetimes. In Hikaru's mind, de-agings were like spontaneous male pregnancies: so rare that they might as well have been space legends. This all changed on Urna-5, where a tree, a fucking tree, turned him into a six-year-old child.
"According to my preliminary research, the tree reacts to humans by either taking away or giving them twenty years of life," Spock says when half the bridge crew is gathered around Hikaru in sick bay, all of them staring at him like he's a previously undiscovered species while McCoy takes his vitals. "The tree seems to have determined that Lieutenant Sulu was an appropriate candidate for the gift of twenty years of life, rather than the subtraction of such."
"So - that's good, right?" Kirk says, looking at McCoy uncertainly. "'Cause we know how to fix a de-aging. Right? Bones?"
"Jim." McCoy gives him a look. "There hasn't been a de-aging of a human anywhere in the known universe in over thirty years. I don't know if I can reverse it. I haven't even figured out how the hell it happened in the first place."
Hikaru bites his lip, the long forgotten feeling of uncontrollable tears welling up in his chest. There's no reason to cry, and he understands that, logically. He knows crying won't help anything, and doesn't want to show the others that he's scared, because he shouldn't be scared, but the feeling builds and builds until his eyes burn.
"Oh, Hikaru," Pavel says, touching his hand. Hikaru wants to clamber into Pavel's arms, but no, dammit, he's still an adult, he's still got his mind and his memories, and it will probably help the reversal process if he continues to fight the childish feelings that have been creeping in since he shouted in pain and looked down to find his muscles and his height and everything he knew replaced with a body he hasn't had for twenty years.
"I'm okay," Hikaru says, batting Pavel's hand away. "I'm fine."
"Should I inform his family?" Uhura asks. She's got her hands clamped under her arms as if she's fighting the urge to hold Hikaru close, too. All of Hikaru's friends - even Spock - are looking at him like he's basically dying. He's dressed in a little t-shirt and soft cotton pants that McCoy got from the replicator, and he feels like an idiot, like some secret and important part of him is exposed for all to see.
"Don't call my parents!" Hikaru says, hating the squeak of his little voice. He sees Kirk smile at the sound of it, and glares at him, curling his hands into fists. "They don't need to know everything that happens to me - I'm a grown up!"
"Oh my God," Kirk says. "He's so cute."
"Captain!" Uhura and Pavel shout in unison, and that's when Scotty comes running in, his eyes lit up with wild amusement.
"Where is he - ah, is that him? Oh, look at the wee little thing!"
"Hey, don't tease him," Kirk says, throwing his arm out to keep Scotty from pinching Hikaru's cheeks. Hikaru's eyes are watering again, and he bites his lip to stop it from trembling.
"I'll take care of him until he his cured," Pavel volunteers, practically shouting. Hikaru knows that Pavel Chekov has a crush on him - the twenty-six year old version of him, anyway. He moans and leans away when Pavel reaches for him.
"No!" Hikaru says, slapping at Pavel's hands. "I don't need anyone taking care of me. I'm a big boy - ah, I mean, a grown man!" His face turns bright red as Uhura and Scotty cover their mouths to hide their smiles, and the first hot tears slip out of his eyes.
"Poor little guy," Kirk says, hoisting him off the table, and Hikaru wants to struggle, to show them that he's not a baby, but he just moans in defeat and puts his head against Kirk's shoulder, giving in to the feeling of being held by someone who seems to suddenly be ten times his size. Maybe Kirk felt that way even before Hikaru was de-aged, a little. Hikaru puts his arms around Kirk's neck and sniffles, feeling stupid, and oddly, intensely comforted by Kirk's hand stroking his back. It's just the de-aging phenomenon, he decides, this need to be held like a little boy. It doesn't mean he is a little boy, no way. He's Hikaru Sulu: big, strong pilot.
"Tell you what," Kirk says. "I'm off shift for the next six hours, I'll keep an eye on him."
"You should get some rest in those six hours," McCoy says. "You've been on shift for almost fifteen hours straight - as usual, Jim."
"I'm fine," Kirk says. "He'll take a little nap, I'll take a little nap. Right, buddy?"
"Don't call me buddy," Hikaru says, and Kirk laughs, the rumble of it through his chest making Hikaru feel like he's in the hands of a giant.
"I am off shift, too," Pavel says. His voice is small, like somebody has hurt his feelings, and Hikaru feels bad. He lifts his face and wipes at his eyes, sniffling again.
"Pavel can come, too," he says, thrusting out a hand, wanting to be nice. Pavel smiles and touches Hikaru's fingers. Hikaru never thought Pavel Chekov's hand would be bigger than his, and it's weird, so he pulls his hand back and tucks it against Kirk's chest.
"You want a playmate who's closer to your age, huh?" Kirk says to Hikaru, and Pavel pouts.
"Don't be mean to Pavel," Hikaru says. Pavel has a crush on him, which might be a little icky, but he's nice, and he doesn't like being picked on for being little - young. Hikaru can suddenly understand that very well.
"This is too fucking weird for me," McCoy says, and the bad word bothers Hikaru, making him shrink closer to Kirk.
"Language, Bones," Kirk says. McCoy rolls his eyes.
"Right," he says in a grunt. "Anyway, he's as healthy as a six-year-old can be. Keep an eye on him, and let me know if anything weird goes down. I'll be in here researching how to change him back. It's not like I've been on shift for fifteen hours or anything."
"I'll give you a few extra shore leave days after you solve this, you genius," Kirk says, slapping McCoy's shoulder. McCoy groans and heads for his office. Hikaru feels sleepy, and the bright lights of sick bay are making him yawn. He puts his head on Kirk's shoulder again, sighing.
"I think our little charge will be pretty easy to take care of, Pavel," Kirk says as they head out of sick bay. "In fact, if you want to use your off time to rest, I really think I'd be okay looking after him myself."
"No, Keptin," Pavel says. "I am not tired. I - Hikaru is my friend. He would want me to help."
"It's almost like you don't trust me to look after a child, Checkers."
"Ah - is not that, Keptin, no! Is just, Hikaru - I - he's so small -"
"It's okay, Checkers, I get it. It's kind of crazy, our Hikaru without his chest puffed out."
"Shut up," Hikaru say softly, still half asleep, and Kirk laughs.
"I guess he's still mostly our Hikaru," he says, petting Hikaru's hair.
They go to Kirk's quarters, and Hikaru experiences a second wind once they arrive. He's seen Kirk's rooms during poker games and birthday parties for the bridge crew, but they've never looked so exciting before. He's particularly fascinated by the huge fish tank in the front room, and he squirms out of Kirk's arms to run over an examine it, pressing his face to the glass.
"Hey, hey," Kirk says, walking over to pull Hikaru's hands from the front of the tank. "No touching. Aw, look, you even left a nose print."
"He's just curious," Pavel says, kneeling down beside Hikaru. "Do you know the names of the fishies, Hikaru?"
"Don't call them fishies," Hikaru says, but he lets Pavel thread an arm around his waist, then hoist him up so he can see the rest of the tank, which is three feet taller than him now. Hikaru demonstrates his maturity by calling out the scientific names of the species in the tank, and every time Pavel laughs and tells him he's correct, he gets a thud of happiness in the center of his chest. He likes being right, and impressing Pavel, who smells kind of like candy.
"Do you have gum?" Hikaru asks, trying to reach into the pocket of Pavel's pants.
"Better," Pavel says. He slips his hand into his pocket and produces a lollipop, one of the cherry-flavored ones that turn his lips red when he sucks on them in the rec room, trying to be seductive while Hikaru talks about his plants. Hikaru gasps happily and claps while Pavel unwraps it for him.
"You'll rot his teeth," Kirk says. He's holding the controller for his entertainment console. "Hey, Hikaru, look," he says. "Want to play some games?"
"Okay," Hikaru says. He takes the lollipop from Pavel and pops it in his mouth. Pavel makes a little noise, sounding both delighted and pained.
"I have to take some pictures of him," Pavel says, setting Hikaru down and reaching into his other pocket for his PADD.
"No!" Hikaru shouts. "No pictures!" He takes off running toward Kirk's bedroom, imagining Pavel showing the pictures to everyone after Hikaru is cured, all of them laughing.
"Hey, don't run with that candy in your mouth!" Kirk shouts. He chases after him, but Hikaru is fast, and he scrambles under Kirk's big four-poster bed and out of his reach. It's dusty under Kirk's bed, and messy, empty condom boxes and wrappers everywhere. Hikaru makes a face at them and kicks them out of the way, then looks back at Kirk, who is scowling at him. Hikaru grins and sucks on his lollipop, then sneezes. Pavel's face appears beside Kirk's, and he laughs.
"It's not funny!" Kirk says. "What if he starts to change while he's under there? He could get crushed!"
Hikaru heart pounds, and as he watches the amusement drain from Pavel's face, scary images of being trapped under the bed flooding into his head. He wiggles around, the darkness beginning to scare him, too, and he wants to come out, but also doesn't want to give Kirk the satisfaction. His lollipop has dust on it when he sticks it back in his mouth, and he makes a gagging sound.
"Oh, God, what's wrong with him?" Pavel asks, starting to squirm under the bed himself, reaching for Hikaru. "Why is he making that sound?"
"Hikaru!" Kirk says. He's angry, and Hikaru's heart beats even faster, tears pricking at his eyes again.
"Get out here right now," Kirk says.
"I'll give you more candy!" Pavel says.
"Don't tell him that. Hikaru, I am still your captain. You get out here right now, that's an order."
"Keptin!" Pavel says, panting and squirming around. "I - I think that I am stuck!"
"Oh, Checkers, for God's sake." Kirk grabs Pavel's ankles and drags him out, and Hikaru giggles. When Kirk's face reappears at the bottom of the bed, he doesn't look happy.
"Captain," Hikaru says, keeping his voice soft, playing up his cuteness so he won't get in too much trouble. "Are you mad at me?"
"Yes. Get out here. Now."
"But - but -"
"No buts, Hikaru. It's not safe for you to be under there. Come out here right now, or I won't let you play with the virtual reality console."
"Are you going to spank me?" Hikaru asks, trembling at the thought. That was how his dad punished him when he pulled his sisters' hair, with a hard swat on the ass, and he would cry while his sisters giggled behind their hands. It was so embarrassing, and he flushes just thinking about it.
"Nobody's going to - punish you," Kirk says. "Just come out here."
"Please, Hikaru!" Pavel sounds like he might cry, so Hikaru sighs and rolls out from the side of the bed. He's sneezing again, coated with dust, and Kirk groans.
"Great, he's filthy," Kirk says, brushing Hikaru's hair and clothes off with his hands while he sneezes again. He lost the lollipop somewhere in the shuffle, and his lips are sticky, the dust clinging to them.
"Should we give him a bath?" Pavel asks. Hikaru whines. He hates baths, they're so boring and stupid, and he wants to play with the virtual reality console.
"Hell no," Kirk mumbles, and Hikaru giggles at the curse, which is not scary like the one the doctor said. "Too weird. Just get me a damp washcloth from the bathroom."
"Yes, sir," Pavel says. He sounds annoyed. Hikaru smiles at Kirk, and decides that he likes Kirk better, because he's not the one who wants to make him take a bath, and because he's bigger than Pavel and could totally beat Pavel in a fight.
"Hold up your hands," Hikaru says, remembering a good thing his dad used to do, when he wasn't mad at Hikaru for bothering his sisters.
"Huh?" Kirk says.
"Hold them up, like this," Hikaru says. He demonstrates, showing Kirk his palms. Kirk grins and does as he asked, and Hikaru gives Kirk's left hand a punch, as hard as he can, then his right. Kirk doesn't even flinch, just grins more widely.
"Me and my brother used to do this," Kirk says.
"Lucky," Hikaru says, still punching Kirk's palms, one and then the other. They're bigger and rougher than his dad's hands, absorbing the blows of Hikaru's little fists easily. "I wish I had a brother."
"Here's the cloth, Keptin," Pavel says. "Why is he hitting you?"
"He's just playing. Didn't you have any brothers, Checkers?"
"No." Pavel sounds sad, and Hikaru turns to him. He hates it when Pavel gets sad around the others, when he feels small, and Hikaru wants to make him feel better. Pavel sits on the bed, and he smiles when Hikaru walks over to put his hands on Pavel's knees.
"I don't have a brother, either," Hikaru says. "Only stupid sisters."
"You love your sisters, Hikaru," Pavel says. He rubs at Hikaru's face with the cloth, wiping his sticky, dusty lips clean, and it feels good.
"I do not love them," Hikaru says, though maybe he does. He just doesn't want anybody saying so out loud.
"C'mon, Hikaru," Kirk says. "Let's play this racing game I have." He pulls at Hikaru's shoulder like a kid who isn't going to stand for being ignored, not even for a minute, and Hikaru thinks it's a dumb way for an adult to act, so he whines and clings to Pavel's legs. There's a little spot of wicked pride growing in his chest as he realizes that both of these grown-ups want him to like them best, and that means he's in control of everything here.
"Pavel, pick me up," he says, lifting his arms. Pavel smiles at Hikaru like he's the best thing in the whole universe, and hoists him into his lap. Hikaru leans against Pavel's chest and listens to his heartbeat, feeling sleepy.
"Hikaru, where's your candy?" Pavel asks, wiping at his mouth again with the cloth.
"Under the captain's bed," Hikaru says with a grin, and Pavel laughs. They both look over at Kirk, who puts his hands on his hips and frowns.
"Great," he says. "I'm gonna get space rats in here."
"Space rats!" Hikaru laughs, and Kirk's face brightens a little. "That's not a real thing."
"Sure it is," Kirk says. "They're gonna come and nibble me in my sleep, and it'll be all your fault." He leans down to snatch at Hikaru's jaw with his fingers in imitation of a nibbling rat, and Hikaru giggles wildly, scrambling up to cling to Pavel's shoulders while Kirk tickles his sides.
"Keptin, he does not like this!" Pavel says, turning away and hugging Hikaru protectively, like he's Hikaru's mom or something. Hikaru wiggles out of his grip, moaning in complaint, his t-shirt coming halfway off.
"Yes, I do!" Hikaru says, bounding onto Kirk, who laughs and hoists him up high, letting Hikaru scramble onto his shoulders. Hikaru puts his hands on top of Kirk's head as his skin tingles with the joyous feeling of being up high, like he's flying. He puts out his arms and laughs harder as Kirk runs around the room, letting him feel the wind against his face.
"Be careful!" Pavel says, running after them. "Keptin! Oh! Watch out for that - wait, don't crash into the - ah!"
"I got him, Checkers!" Kirk says, and as they run underneath a light fixture Hikaru grabs onto it, laughing and hanging on tight, sliding off of Kirk's shoulders to swing from it, but the feeling of blissful recklessness doesn't last long, because the light fixture is hot, and he shrieks when it burns his hands, lets go and tumbles toward the floor.
"Oh!" Pavel swoops in to catch him, just in time. When Hikaru's shock fades he starts wailing, his hands red and sore and his heart pumping fast, still scared. He throws his arms around Pavel's neck and holds tight, sobbing.
"Hikaru, what were you thinking, grabbing that thing?" Kirk asks, stomping back over to him. His face is red, like almost hurting Hikaru embarrassed him. Hikaru cries and hides his face against Pavel's neck.
"Don't yell at him!" Pavel says. "He's just a little boy, you're the one who was acting irresponsibly - ah, that is, sir, I think -"
"He was perfectly lucid an hour ago!" Kirk says. "Now he's acting more and more like a kid - should we tell McCoy?"
"No!" Hikaru says, his shout muffled against Pavel's skin. He doesn't want to see the mean old doctor and get poked with hyposprays and tricorders.
"McCoy told us he would regress slowly, but he should still have his memories," Pavel says. He pets Hikaru's hair and turns to nudge his face with his nose. "Hikaru," he says, softly, like he's talking to a baby, which is annoying, even though he's crying like one. "Do you know who I am?"
"Yes," Hikaru says. He scowls at the implication that he wouldn't. "You're Pavel." He sniffles, and Pavel helps him wipe at his face. "You're the boy who likes me."
"A-heh." Pavel glances at Kirk, turning bright red. Kirk raises his eyebrows, and Hikaru feels bad. Whoops. That was a secret, and he wasn't even going to tell Pavel that he knows.
"Maybe I should hold him," Kirk says, and Pavel's blush spreads from his face down to his neck.
"No," Hikaru says. He clings to Pavel, clamping his legs around Pavel's side. "I want Pavel to hold me. I don't care if he wants to kiss the big me. He saved me from falling."
There's a heavy silence, and Hikaru feels like he said something wrong. He sticks his thumb in his mouth, and Pavel pulls it out.
"Yeah, he did save you," Kirk says. "Sorry I - couldn't. I tried."
"Don't confuse him," Pavel says, but Hikaru isn't confused. They're talking about the drill, that day when they all became friends in a weird way that sometimes makes Hikaru's stomach hurt if he thinks about it too much. He puts his thumb in his mouth again, and this time Pavel lets him suck it, so he rests his head on Pavel's shoulder and shuts his eyes.
"He's tired," Pavel says. "Can I put him to sleep in your bed, Keptin?"
"Of course you can. Here, I'll do it."
"I can do it."
"Yeah, but. It's my bed."
"Are you ordering me to let you tuck Hikaru in, Keptin?" Pavel says, and the tone of his voice makes Hikaru nervous, because he's being bad and the captain will be angry with him.
"You know what, Checkers, do whatever you want. Just don't let him get candy all over my sheets."
"Yes, Keptin."
Hikaru is half-asleep as Pavel draws back Kirk's sheets and gently lowers him down onto the mattress. He tries to wrench his eyes open as Pavel tucks the blankets in around him, but the best he can do is blink heavily, slowly, still sucking on his thumb. Pavel smiles down at him and smoothes his hair from his forehead.
"Have a good nap," Pavel whispers, still touching his hair. It feels nice, comforting, and Hikaru whines when Pavel scoots away.
"Pavel," he cries, his voice sounding so weak and babyish, but he doesn't care, because Pavel won't laugh at him, he's not like Hikaru's sisters.
"What's wrong?" Pavel asks. He's hovering, touching Hikaru's forehead. "Do you feel okay? What do you need?"
"Don't leave me alone," Hikaru says, ashamed. He turns to curl up and clutch at the pillow. Kirk's bed is too big, and the wooden carvings on the headboard are scary. Pavel sighs and sits back against the pillows, stretching his arm around the pillow Hikaru is resting his head on.
"Okay," he says. "I won't leave you."
"Where is Kirk?"
"I don't know, in the other room. Why, do you want him?"
"Yeah. He's sad." Hikaru whispers that, because it's a secret. Pavel groans and rubs his hand over his face. He looks tired, too.
"No, he's not," Pavel says. "He just has to win at everything. Sometimes I'm afraid - oh, Hikaru, are you going to remember any of this when you are changed back?"
"I don't know." Hikaru squirms over to press his forehead to Pavel's thigh, and Pavel touches the back of his head.
"When the keptin sees that someone else wants something, he tries to get it for himself. Not to be mean, I don't think, he just can't help it. Look at Uhura and Spock, the way he flirts with both of them, to infuriate the other. If he sees that I like you, he's going to do the same to me, and maybe you won't be annoyed like them, maybe you will like it."
Hikaru doesn't know how to respond to this, so he sticks his thumb in his mouth and shuts his eyes, sleep sweeping back in quickly. He goes under to the sound of Pavel sighing, and the feeling of Pavel's hand stroking his hair down in the back, which is nice, making him feel safe, and loved. Pavel doesn't just like him, he loves him. Hikaru wants to wake up and make a note of this, so he'll remember it later, but it's too late, he's deep in his dreams, riding on Pavel's shoulders as they walk through the central courtyard back at the Academy.
When he wakes up, the room is very quiet, and Pavel is asleep on the bed, curled around Hikaru like the letter 'C,' his knees tucked up under Hikaru and his arm arched around him on the pillow. Hikaru sits up and rubs his eyes, then looks down at Pavel, whose lips are open on the pillow. He touches Pavel's cheek, very softly, with the tip of one finger.
"Pavel," he whispers, too quiet to hear. Pavel moans softly in his sleep, and a burst of something unrecognizable and intense strikes against Hikaru's chest. He's not sure he likes it, so he turns from Pavel, and laughs when he sees that Kirk is asleep at the desk across the room, his head on a stack of open reports, a stylus still closed in his hand.
Hikaru leaves the bed, careful not to disturb Pavel, and thinks about crawling underneath it to find his lollipop, but it would probably be too gross to eat. He walks over to Kirk instead, yawning, and stands next to him for awhile, waiting to see if he'll wake up. Looking at Kirk makes his heart race; he's so big, and he has a kind of intimidating glow around him, even while he's asleep. Hikaru knows he should leave him alone and let him sleep, but he's thirsty, and he doesn't think he can reach the sink to get water.
"Captain," he whispers, touching Kirk's leg. He expects to have to poke him a few times, but Kirk wakes almost instantly, sucking in his breath in a kind of inverse snore and startling Hikaru, who jumps backward. Kirk stares at him for a moment, his mouth hanging open, and then blinks and shakes his head.
"Shit," he whispers, scrubbing his hands over his face. "I fell asleep. Sorry, buddy." Kirk glances over at Pavel and snorts, shaking his head. "It's like a nursery at nap time in here," he says.
Hikaru doesn't like the joke. Pavel is not a baby, and sometimes Kirk makes him feel small on purpose. But he's not mad at Kirk, and when he tries to climb into Kirk's lap, Kirk hoists him up with a groan. Hikaru settles there comfortably, touching Kirk's reports and leaving fingerprints on the datapad screens.
"I'll help you with your work," Hikaru says. Kirk laughs and leans down to rest his chin on Hikaru's shoulder, watching him sort through the reports and click from window to window within them.
"Okay," Kirk says. "You'll help me, good. I could use some help."
"I know," Hikaru says, and Kirk laughs.
"You're a smart kid," he says.
"I'm not a kid. I'm your pilot, I'm just little right now."
"You're right, sorry." Kirk slips am arm across Hikaru's waist, holding him steady as he leans forward to draw pictures in an open window with the stylus.
"This is our last mission, see," Hikaru says, drawing kiltar palms and a banded moon, Kirk standing with his phaser drawn, Hikaru with his sword. "This is you," he says, "and this is me."
"That's good, Hikaru, that's awesome. Where's Spock, though? He was there, too."
"I don't want to draw Spock," Hikaru says. He brings up the color palate and starts filling in their shirts, making them both gold. "I want it to be just you and me."
"Shit," Kirk says, almost too quiet to hear. He sounds like Hikaru just hurt his feelings, bad, and Hikaru stops drawing, leaning back against Kirk's chest to look up at him.
"Did I mess it up?" he asks, nervous. He's always been afraid of disappointing adults, especially the ones who are in charge of everybody, like Kirk.
"No - no, you didn't mess anything up," Kirk says. He clears his throat and pats Hikaru's head. "Keep going, it looks great."
Hikaru can tell when people are just pretending to be okay. He turns a little, swinging his legs over the side of Kirk's lap, and reaches up to touch his face.
"It's scratchy," he says, rubbing Kirk's jaw. Kirk just stares down at him, still looking sad.
"Just make sure I'm clean shaven in the picture," Kirk says. "You know, for the official record."
Hikaru smiles, and when Kirk smiles back at him the feeling Hikaru had before he got out of bed zips from his stomach down to his legs, and he shouts out in pain as his whole body seems to shoot up into the air like an earthquake has come. Kirk holds him steady, which isn't easy, because suddenly he's not little anymore, he's big, really big, the way he was before, too big to fit on Kirk's lap.
Kirk gapes up at him, and Hikaru tries to swallow his tears, waiting to feel like a grown-up again, now that he looks like one. He touches his chest and looks down at his long legs, stretching them out.
"Jesus, Hikaru, you're back!" Kirk says. He stands up from the chair, pulling Hikaru with him, and he holds Hikaru's hands out as he examines him: five feet and eleven inches again, one hundred and seventy pounds, his arms strong when he tests them, flexing. Still, there's something in his chest that feels so small, and he moans, throwing his arms around Kirk before he can stop himself.
"It hurt," he says, using Kirk's shoulder to muffle the words as he squeezes up against him. "Changing back. It hurt, Captain."
"Oh," Kirk says softly. He touches Hikaru's back, and his hip. "I - do you need to go to McCoy?"
As if he's been summoned, McCoy's voice suddenly barks from Kirk's communicator, which is resting on the desk.
"Jim, you there?" he says. "I think I figured this thing out."
"Ah - yeah, Bones," Kirk says when he grabs it. His arm is still around Hikaru's waist, and Hikaru is starting to feel fuzzy, anxious, more like himself.
"I'm studying these previous cases, and it seems like in almost all of them the solution was to do something to remind the subject strongly of his adulthood. It can jar them back to reality, if you can produce a visceral sensation of something that a child wouldn't understand or recognize."
"Looks like it's not a problem anymore, anyway," Kirk says, glancing over at Hikaru to make sure he's still an adult. Hikaru steps back a little, Kirk's hand sliding from his waist. "He's back to normal."
"What? How'd it happen? What was the instigating factor?"
Kirk looks at Hikaru, and Hikaru can't hold his gaze. The childish feeling fades away, replaced by vague discomfort, worry, and uncertainty. He walks across the room, pulling his hands through his hair.
"Nothing, it just wore off," Kirk says. "Look - I'll bring him down there for an exam in a sec. He's just, you know, taking a few minutes to get used to being full-sized again."
"Alright, well, good." McCoy sounds a little flustered by this development, but pleased. "Don't be too long getting him down here."
"Yep." Kirk shuts his communicator off and puts it back on his desk. Hikaru stands with his hands on his hips and stares at Kirk's aquarium. It seems so much smaller now, so straightforward and ordinary, and he wishes this didn't make him so sad.
"Hikaru -" Kirk starts to say, and Hikaru is afraid to hear any more, so he's glad when Pavel comes bounding into the room, laughing with relief when he sees that Hikaru has been restored.
"Hikaru!" he says, pulling him into a hug. "Oh, it's you, thank goodness!" Hikaru laughs and hugs him back, glancing at Kirk over his shoulder. Kirk is fiddling with his data pads, and Hikaru assumes he's deleting the drawing Hikaru scribbled onto his report about their last away mission.
It shouldn't bother him so much, and maybe it shouldn't mean so much, six months later, when Hikaru walks up behind Kirk during a dull stakeout on a moon of Yurta and catches him looking at that drawing on his PADD, black and white except for their gold shirts, stick figure Hikaru and Kirk smiling under an alien moon. Kirk practically chokes on his tongue when he realizes that Hikaru has seen what he's looking at, and Hikaru never thought he'd see his captain stammer.
Not knowing what to say doesn't suit Kirk at all, so Hikaru kisses him hard, to save him from trying to explain.
/the end/
Title: Code 78
Fandom: Star Trek
Pairing: Kirk/Sulu, Sulu/Chekov (to a lesser degree)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~5,000
Summary: Sulu gets de-aged and Kirk and Chekov volunteer to take care of him until he's cured.
A code 78 is a de-aging, and no one serving on the Enterprise has ever seen one in person before. They all studied them at the Academy: appropriate protocol, potential solutions, and lasting psychological impact, but nobody expected to witness one in their lifetimes. In Hikaru's mind, de-agings were like spontaneous male pregnancies: so rare that they might as well have been space legends. This all changed on Urna-5, where a tree, a fucking tree, turned him into a six-year-old child.
"According to my preliminary research, the tree reacts to humans by either taking away or giving them twenty years of life," Spock says when half the bridge crew is gathered around Hikaru in sick bay, all of them staring at him like he's a previously undiscovered species while McCoy takes his vitals. "The tree seems to have determined that Lieutenant Sulu was an appropriate candidate for the gift of twenty years of life, rather than the subtraction of such."
"So - that's good, right?" Kirk says, looking at McCoy uncertainly. "'Cause we know how to fix a de-aging. Right? Bones?"
"Jim." McCoy gives him a look. "There hasn't been a de-aging of a human anywhere in the known universe in over thirty years. I don't know if I can reverse it. I haven't even figured out how the hell it happened in the first place."
Hikaru bites his lip, the long forgotten feeling of uncontrollable tears welling up in his chest. There's no reason to cry, and he understands that, logically. He knows crying won't help anything, and doesn't want to show the others that he's scared, because he shouldn't be scared, but the feeling builds and builds until his eyes burn.
"Oh, Hikaru," Pavel says, touching his hand. Hikaru wants to clamber into Pavel's arms, but no, dammit, he's still an adult, he's still got his mind and his memories, and it will probably help the reversal process if he continues to fight the childish feelings that have been creeping in since he shouted in pain and looked down to find his muscles and his height and everything he knew replaced with a body he hasn't had for twenty years.
"I'm okay," Hikaru says, batting Pavel's hand away. "I'm fine."
"Should I inform his family?" Uhura asks. She's got her hands clamped under her arms as if she's fighting the urge to hold Hikaru close, too. All of Hikaru's friends - even Spock - are looking at him like he's basically dying. He's dressed in a little t-shirt and soft cotton pants that McCoy got from the replicator, and he feels like an idiot, like some secret and important part of him is exposed for all to see.
"Don't call my parents!" Hikaru says, hating the squeak of his little voice. He sees Kirk smile at the sound of it, and glares at him, curling his hands into fists. "They don't need to know everything that happens to me - I'm a grown up!"
"Oh my God," Kirk says. "He's so cute."
"Captain!" Uhura and Pavel shout in unison, and that's when Scotty comes running in, his eyes lit up with wild amusement.
"Where is he - ah, is that him? Oh, look at the wee little thing!"
"Hey, don't tease him," Kirk says, throwing his arm out to keep Scotty from pinching Hikaru's cheeks. Hikaru's eyes are watering again, and he bites his lip to stop it from trembling.
"I'll take care of him until he his cured," Pavel volunteers, practically shouting. Hikaru knows that Pavel Chekov has a crush on him - the twenty-six year old version of him, anyway. He moans and leans away when Pavel reaches for him.
"No!" Hikaru says, slapping at Pavel's hands. "I don't need anyone taking care of me. I'm a big boy - ah, I mean, a grown man!" His face turns bright red as Uhura and Scotty cover their mouths to hide their smiles, and the first hot tears slip out of his eyes.
"Poor little guy," Kirk says, hoisting him off the table, and Hikaru wants to struggle, to show them that he's not a baby, but he just moans in defeat and puts his head against Kirk's shoulder, giving in to the feeling of being held by someone who seems to suddenly be ten times his size. Maybe Kirk felt that way even before Hikaru was de-aged, a little. Hikaru puts his arms around Kirk's neck and sniffles, feeling stupid, and oddly, intensely comforted by Kirk's hand stroking his back. It's just the de-aging phenomenon, he decides, this need to be held like a little boy. It doesn't mean he is a little boy, no way. He's Hikaru Sulu: big, strong pilot.
"Tell you what," Kirk says. "I'm off shift for the next six hours, I'll keep an eye on him."
"You should get some rest in those six hours," McCoy says. "You've been on shift for almost fifteen hours straight - as usual, Jim."
"I'm fine," Kirk says. "He'll take a little nap, I'll take a little nap. Right, buddy?"
"Don't call me buddy," Hikaru says, and Kirk laughs, the rumble of it through his chest making Hikaru feel like he's in the hands of a giant.
"I am off shift, too," Pavel says. His voice is small, like somebody has hurt his feelings, and Hikaru feels bad. He lifts his face and wipes at his eyes, sniffling again.
"Pavel can come, too," he says, thrusting out a hand, wanting to be nice. Pavel smiles and touches Hikaru's fingers. Hikaru never thought Pavel Chekov's hand would be bigger than his, and it's weird, so he pulls his hand back and tucks it against Kirk's chest.
"You want a playmate who's closer to your age, huh?" Kirk says to Hikaru, and Pavel pouts.
"Don't be mean to Pavel," Hikaru says. Pavel has a crush on him, which might be a little icky, but he's nice, and he doesn't like being picked on for being little - young. Hikaru can suddenly understand that very well.
"This is too fucking weird for me," McCoy says, and the bad word bothers Hikaru, making him shrink closer to Kirk.
"Language, Bones," Kirk says. McCoy rolls his eyes.
"Right," he says in a grunt. "Anyway, he's as healthy as a six-year-old can be. Keep an eye on him, and let me know if anything weird goes down. I'll be in here researching how to change him back. It's not like I've been on shift for fifteen hours or anything."
"I'll give you a few extra shore leave days after you solve this, you genius," Kirk says, slapping McCoy's shoulder. McCoy groans and heads for his office. Hikaru feels sleepy, and the bright lights of sick bay are making him yawn. He puts his head on Kirk's shoulder again, sighing.
"I think our little charge will be pretty easy to take care of, Pavel," Kirk says as they head out of sick bay. "In fact, if you want to use your off time to rest, I really think I'd be okay looking after him myself."
"No, Keptin," Pavel says. "I am not tired. I - Hikaru is my friend. He would want me to help."
"It's almost like you don't trust me to look after a child, Checkers."
"Ah - is not that, Keptin, no! Is just, Hikaru - I - he's so small -"
"It's okay, Checkers, I get it. It's kind of crazy, our Hikaru without his chest puffed out."
"Shut up," Hikaru say softly, still half asleep, and Kirk laughs.
"I guess he's still mostly our Hikaru," he says, petting Hikaru's hair.
They go to Kirk's quarters, and Hikaru experiences a second wind once they arrive. He's seen Kirk's rooms during poker games and birthday parties for the bridge crew, but they've never looked so exciting before. He's particularly fascinated by the huge fish tank in the front room, and he squirms out of Kirk's arms to run over an examine it, pressing his face to the glass.
"Hey, hey," Kirk says, walking over to pull Hikaru's hands from the front of the tank. "No touching. Aw, look, you even left a nose print."
"He's just curious," Pavel says, kneeling down beside Hikaru. "Do you know the names of the fishies, Hikaru?"
"Don't call them fishies," Hikaru says, but he lets Pavel thread an arm around his waist, then hoist him up so he can see the rest of the tank, which is three feet taller than him now. Hikaru demonstrates his maturity by calling out the scientific names of the species in the tank, and every time Pavel laughs and tells him he's correct, he gets a thud of happiness in the center of his chest. He likes being right, and impressing Pavel, who smells kind of like candy.
"Do you have gum?" Hikaru asks, trying to reach into the pocket of Pavel's pants.
"Better," Pavel says. He slips his hand into his pocket and produces a lollipop, one of the cherry-flavored ones that turn his lips red when he sucks on them in the rec room, trying to be seductive while Hikaru talks about his plants. Hikaru gasps happily and claps while Pavel unwraps it for him.
"You'll rot his teeth," Kirk says. He's holding the controller for his entertainment console. "Hey, Hikaru, look," he says. "Want to play some games?"
"Okay," Hikaru says. He takes the lollipop from Pavel and pops it in his mouth. Pavel makes a little noise, sounding both delighted and pained.
"I have to take some pictures of him," Pavel says, setting Hikaru down and reaching into his other pocket for his PADD.
"No!" Hikaru shouts. "No pictures!" He takes off running toward Kirk's bedroom, imagining Pavel showing the pictures to everyone after Hikaru is cured, all of them laughing.
"Hey, don't run with that candy in your mouth!" Kirk shouts. He chases after him, but Hikaru is fast, and he scrambles under Kirk's big four-poster bed and out of his reach. It's dusty under Kirk's bed, and messy, empty condom boxes and wrappers everywhere. Hikaru makes a face at them and kicks them out of the way, then looks back at Kirk, who is scowling at him. Hikaru grins and sucks on his lollipop, then sneezes. Pavel's face appears beside Kirk's, and he laughs.
"It's not funny!" Kirk says. "What if he starts to change while he's under there? He could get crushed!"
Hikaru heart pounds, and as he watches the amusement drain from Pavel's face, scary images of being trapped under the bed flooding into his head. He wiggles around, the darkness beginning to scare him, too, and he wants to come out, but also doesn't want to give Kirk the satisfaction. His lollipop has dust on it when he sticks it back in his mouth, and he makes a gagging sound.
"Oh, God, what's wrong with him?" Pavel asks, starting to squirm under the bed himself, reaching for Hikaru. "Why is he making that sound?"
"Hikaru!" Kirk says. He's angry, and Hikaru's heart beats even faster, tears pricking at his eyes again.
"Get out here right now," Kirk says.
"I'll give you more candy!" Pavel says.
"Don't tell him that. Hikaru, I am still your captain. You get out here right now, that's an order."
"Keptin!" Pavel says, panting and squirming around. "I - I think that I am stuck!"
"Oh, Checkers, for God's sake." Kirk grabs Pavel's ankles and drags him out, and Hikaru giggles. When Kirk's face reappears at the bottom of the bed, he doesn't look happy.
"Captain," Hikaru says, keeping his voice soft, playing up his cuteness so he won't get in too much trouble. "Are you mad at me?"
"Yes. Get out here. Now."
"But - but -"
"No buts, Hikaru. It's not safe for you to be under there. Come out here right now, or I won't let you play with the virtual reality console."
"Are you going to spank me?" Hikaru asks, trembling at the thought. That was how his dad punished him when he pulled his sisters' hair, with a hard swat on the ass, and he would cry while his sisters giggled behind their hands. It was so embarrassing, and he flushes just thinking about it.
"Nobody's going to - punish you," Kirk says. "Just come out here."
"Please, Hikaru!" Pavel sounds like he might cry, so Hikaru sighs and rolls out from the side of the bed. He's sneezing again, coated with dust, and Kirk groans.
"Great, he's filthy," Kirk says, brushing Hikaru's hair and clothes off with his hands while he sneezes again. He lost the lollipop somewhere in the shuffle, and his lips are sticky, the dust clinging to them.
"Should we give him a bath?" Pavel asks. Hikaru whines. He hates baths, they're so boring and stupid, and he wants to play with the virtual reality console.
"Hell no," Kirk mumbles, and Hikaru giggles at the curse, which is not scary like the one the doctor said. "Too weird. Just get me a damp washcloth from the bathroom."
"Yes, sir," Pavel says. He sounds annoyed. Hikaru smiles at Kirk, and decides that he likes Kirk better, because he's not the one who wants to make him take a bath, and because he's bigger than Pavel and could totally beat Pavel in a fight.
"Hold up your hands," Hikaru says, remembering a good thing his dad used to do, when he wasn't mad at Hikaru for bothering his sisters.
"Huh?" Kirk says.
"Hold them up, like this," Hikaru says. He demonstrates, showing Kirk his palms. Kirk grins and does as he asked, and Hikaru gives Kirk's left hand a punch, as hard as he can, then his right. Kirk doesn't even flinch, just grins more widely.
"Me and my brother used to do this," Kirk says.
"Lucky," Hikaru says, still punching Kirk's palms, one and then the other. They're bigger and rougher than his dad's hands, absorbing the blows of Hikaru's little fists easily. "I wish I had a brother."
"Here's the cloth, Keptin," Pavel says. "Why is he hitting you?"
"He's just playing. Didn't you have any brothers, Checkers?"
"No." Pavel sounds sad, and Hikaru turns to him. He hates it when Pavel gets sad around the others, when he feels small, and Hikaru wants to make him feel better. Pavel sits on the bed, and he smiles when Hikaru walks over to put his hands on Pavel's knees.
"I don't have a brother, either," Hikaru says. "Only stupid sisters."
"You love your sisters, Hikaru," Pavel says. He rubs at Hikaru's face with the cloth, wiping his sticky, dusty lips clean, and it feels good.
"I do not love them," Hikaru says, though maybe he does. He just doesn't want anybody saying so out loud.
"C'mon, Hikaru," Kirk says. "Let's play this racing game I have." He pulls at Hikaru's shoulder like a kid who isn't going to stand for being ignored, not even for a minute, and Hikaru thinks it's a dumb way for an adult to act, so he whines and clings to Pavel's legs. There's a little spot of wicked pride growing in his chest as he realizes that both of these grown-ups want him to like them best, and that means he's in control of everything here.
"Pavel, pick me up," he says, lifting his arms. Pavel smiles at Hikaru like he's the best thing in the whole universe, and hoists him into his lap. Hikaru leans against Pavel's chest and listens to his heartbeat, feeling sleepy.
"Hikaru, where's your candy?" Pavel asks, wiping at his mouth again with the cloth.
"Under the captain's bed," Hikaru says with a grin, and Pavel laughs. They both look over at Kirk, who puts his hands on his hips and frowns.
"Great," he says. "I'm gonna get space rats in here."
"Space rats!" Hikaru laughs, and Kirk's face brightens a little. "That's not a real thing."
"Sure it is," Kirk says. "They're gonna come and nibble me in my sleep, and it'll be all your fault." He leans down to snatch at Hikaru's jaw with his fingers in imitation of a nibbling rat, and Hikaru giggles wildly, scrambling up to cling to Pavel's shoulders while Kirk tickles his sides.
"Keptin, he does not like this!" Pavel says, turning away and hugging Hikaru protectively, like he's Hikaru's mom or something. Hikaru wiggles out of his grip, moaning in complaint, his t-shirt coming halfway off.
"Yes, I do!" Hikaru says, bounding onto Kirk, who laughs and hoists him up high, letting Hikaru scramble onto his shoulders. Hikaru puts his hands on top of Kirk's head as his skin tingles with the joyous feeling of being up high, like he's flying. He puts out his arms and laughs harder as Kirk runs around the room, letting him feel the wind against his face.
"Be careful!" Pavel says, running after them. "Keptin! Oh! Watch out for that - wait, don't crash into the - ah!"
"I got him, Checkers!" Kirk says, and as they run underneath a light fixture Hikaru grabs onto it, laughing and hanging on tight, sliding off of Kirk's shoulders to swing from it, but the feeling of blissful recklessness doesn't last long, because the light fixture is hot, and he shrieks when it burns his hands, lets go and tumbles toward the floor.
"Oh!" Pavel swoops in to catch him, just in time. When Hikaru's shock fades he starts wailing, his hands red and sore and his heart pumping fast, still scared. He throws his arms around Pavel's neck and holds tight, sobbing.
"Hikaru, what were you thinking, grabbing that thing?" Kirk asks, stomping back over to him. His face is red, like almost hurting Hikaru embarrassed him. Hikaru cries and hides his face against Pavel's neck.
"Don't yell at him!" Pavel says. "He's just a little boy, you're the one who was acting irresponsibly - ah, that is, sir, I think -"
"He was perfectly lucid an hour ago!" Kirk says. "Now he's acting more and more like a kid - should we tell McCoy?"
"No!" Hikaru says, his shout muffled against Pavel's skin. He doesn't want to see the mean old doctor and get poked with hyposprays and tricorders.
"McCoy told us he would regress slowly, but he should still have his memories," Pavel says. He pets Hikaru's hair and turns to nudge his face with his nose. "Hikaru," he says, softly, like he's talking to a baby, which is annoying, even though he's crying like one. "Do you know who I am?"
"Yes," Hikaru says. He scowls at the implication that he wouldn't. "You're Pavel." He sniffles, and Pavel helps him wipe at his face. "You're the boy who likes me."
"A-heh." Pavel glances at Kirk, turning bright red. Kirk raises his eyebrows, and Hikaru feels bad. Whoops. That was a secret, and he wasn't even going to tell Pavel that he knows.
"Maybe I should hold him," Kirk says, and Pavel's blush spreads from his face down to his neck.
"No," Hikaru says. He clings to Pavel, clamping his legs around Pavel's side. "I want Pavel to hold me. I don't care if he wants to kiss the big me. He saved me from falling."
There's a heavy silence, and Hikaru feels like he said something wrong. He sticks his thumb in his mouth, and Pavel pulls it out.
"Yeah, he did save you," Kirk says. "Sorry I - couldn't. I tried."
"Don't confuse him," Pavel says, but Hikaru isn't confused. They're talking about the drill, that day when they all became friends in a weird way that sometimes makes Hikaru's stomach hurt if he thinks about it too much. He puts his thumb in his mouth again, and this time Pavel lets him suck it, so he rests his head on Pavel's shoulder and shuts his eyes.
"He's tired," Pavel says. "Can I put him to sleep in your bed, Keptin?"
"Of course you can. Here, I'll do it."
"I can do it."
"Yeah, but. It's my bed."
"Are you ordering me to let you tuck Hikaru in, Keptin?" Pavel says, and the tone of his voice makes Hikaru nervous, because he's being bad and the captain will be angry with him.
"You know what, Checkers, do whatever you want. Just don't let him get candy all over my sheets."
"Yes, Keptin."
Hikaru is half-asleep as Pavel draws back Kirk's sheets and gently lowers him down onto the mattress. He tries to wrench his eyes open as Pavel tucks the blankets in around him, but the best he can do is blink heavily, slowly, still sucking on his thumb. Pavel smiles down at him and smoothes his hair from his forehead.
"Have a good nap," Pavel whispers, still touching his hair. It feels nice, comforting, and Hikaru whines when Pavel scoots away.
"Pavel," he cries, his voice sounding so weak and babyish, but he doesn't care, because Pavel won't laugh at him, he's not like Hikaru's sisters.
"What's wrong?" Pavel asks. He's hovering, touching Hikaru's forehead. "Do you feel okay? What do you need?"
"Don't leave me alone," Hikaru says, ashamed. He turns to curl up and clutch at the pillow. Kirk's bed is too big, and the wooden carvings on the headboard are scary. Pavel sighs and sits back against the pillows, stretching his arm around the pillow Hikaru is resting his head on.
"Okay," he says. "I won't leave you."
"Where is Kirk?"
"I don't know, in the other room. Why, do you want him?"
"Yeah. He's sad." Hikaru whispers that, because it's a secret. Pavel groans and rubs his hand over his face. He looks tired, too.
"No, he's not," Pavel says. "He just has to win at everything. Sometimes I'm afraid - oh, Hikaru, are you going to remember any of this when you are changed back?"
"I don't know." Hikaru squirms over to press his forehead to Pavel's thigh, and Pavel touches the back of his head.
"When the keptin sees that someone else wants something, he tries to get it for himself. Not to be mean, I don't think, he just can't help it. Look at Uhura and Spock, the way he flirts with both of them, to infuriate the other. If he sees that I like you, he's going to do the same to me, and maybe you won't be annoyed like them, maybe you will like it."
Hikaru doesn't know how to respond to this, so he sticks his thumb in his mouth and shuts his eyes, sleep sweeping back in quickly. He goes under to the sound of Pavel sighing, and the feeling of Pavel's hand stroking his hair down in the back, which is nice, making him feel safe, and loved. Pavel doesn't just like him, he loves him. Hikaru wants to wake up and make a note of this, so he'll remember it later, but it's too late, he's deep in his dreams, riding on Pavel's shoulders as they walk through the central courtyard back at the Academy.
When he wakes up, the room is very quiet, and Pavel is asleep on the bed, curled around Hikaru like the letter 'C,' his knees tucked up under Hikaru and his arm arched around him on the pillow. Hikaru sits up and rubs his eyes, then looks down at Pavel, whose lips are open on the pillow. He touches Pavel's cheek, very softly, with the tip of one finger.
"Pavel," he whispers, too quiet to hear. Pavel moans softly in his sleep, and a burst of something unrecognizable and intense strikes against Hikaru's chest. He's not sure he likes it, so he turns from Pavel, and laughs when he sees that Kirk is asleep at the desk across the room, his head on a stack of open reports, a stylus still closed in his hand.
Hikaru leaves the bed, careful not to disturb Pavel, and thinks about crawling underneath it to find his lollipop, but it would probably be too gross to eat. He walks over to Kirk instead, yawning, and stands next to him for awhile, waiting to see if he'll wake up. Looking at Kirk makes his heart race; he's so big, and he has a kind of intimidating glow around him, even while he's asleep. Hikaru knows he should leave him alone and let him sleep, but he's thirsty, and he doesn't think he can reach the sink to get water.
"Captain," he whispers, touching Kirk's leg. He expects to have to poke him a few times, but Kirk wakes almost instantly, sucking in his breath in a kind of inverse snore and startling Hikaru, who jumps backward. Kirk stares at him for a moment, his mouth hanging open, and then blinks and shakes his head.
"Shit," he whispers, scrubbing his hands over his face. "I fell asleep. Sorry, buddy." Kirk glances over at Pavel and snorts, shaking his head. "It's like a nursery at nap time in here," he says.
Hikaru doesn't like the joke. Pavel is not a baby, and sometimes Kirk makes him feel small on purpose. But he's not mad at Kirk, and when he tries to climb into Kirk's lap, Kirk hoists him up with a groan. Hikaru settles there comfortably, touching Kirk's reports and leaving fingerprints on the datapad screens.
"I'll help you with your work," Hikaru says. Kirk laughs and leans down to rest his chin on Hikaru's shoulder, watching him sort through the reports and click from window to window within them.
"Okay," Kirk says. "You'll help me, good. I could use some help."
"I know," Hikaru says, and Kirk laughs.
"You're a smart kid," he says.
"I'm not a kid. I'm your pilot, I'm just little right now."
"You're right, sorry." Kirk slips am arm across Hikaru's waist, holding him steady as he leans forward to draw pictures in an open window with the stylus.
"This is our last mission, see," Hikaru says, drawing kiltar palms and a banded moon, Kirk standing with his phaser drawn, Hikaru with his sword. "This is you," he says, "and this is me."
"That's good, Hikaru, that's awesome. Where's Spock, though? He was there, too."
"I don't want to draw Spock," Hikaru says. He brings up the color palate and starts filling in their shirts, making them both gold. "I want it to be just you and me."
"Shit," Kirk says, almost too quiet to hear. He sounds like Hikaru just hurt his feelings, bad, and Hikaru stops drawing, leaning back against Kirk's chest to look up at him.
"Did I mess it up?" he asks, nervous. He's always been afraid of disappointing adults, especially the ones who are in charge of everybody, like Kirk.
"No - no, you didn't mess anything up," Kirk says. He clears his throat and pats Hikaru's head. "Keep going, it looks great."
Hikaru can tell when people are just pretending to be okay. He turns a little, swinging his legs over the side of Kirk's lap, and reaches up to touch his face.
"It's scratchy," he says, rubbing Kirk's jaw. Kirk just stares down at him, still looking sad.
"Just make sure I'm clean shaven in the picture," Kirk says. "You know, for the official record."
Hikaru smiles, and when Kirk smiles back at him the feeling Hikaru had before he got out of bed zips from his stomach down to his legs, and he shouts out in pain as his whole body seems to shoot up into the air like an earthquake has come. Kirk holds him steady, which isn't easy, because suddenly he's not little anymore, he's big, really big, the way he was before, too big to fit on Kirk's lap.
Kirk gapes up at him, and Hikaru tries to swallow his tears, waiting to feel like a grown-up again, now that he looks like one. He touches his chest and looks down at his long legs, stretching them out.
"Jesus, Hikaru, you're back!" Kirk says. He stands up from the chair, pulling Hikaru with him, and he holds Hikaru's hands out as he examines him: five feet and eleven inches again, one hundred and seventy pounds, his arms strong when he tests them, flexing. Still, there's something in his chest that feels so small, and he moans, throwing his arms around Kirk before he can stop himself.
"It hurt," he says, using Kirk's shoulder to muffle the words as he squeezes up against him. "Changing back. It hurt, Captain."
"Oh," Kirk says softly. He touches Hikaru's back, and his hip. "I - do you need to go to McCoy?"
As if he's been summoned, McCoy's voice suddenly barks from Kirk's communicator, which is resting on the desk.
"Jim, you there?" he says. "I think I figured this thing out."
"Ah - yeah, Bones," Kirk says when he grabs it. His arm is still around Hikaru's waist, and Hikaru is starting to feel fuzzy, anxious, more like himself.
"I'm studying these previous cases, and it seems like in almost all of them the solution was to do something to remind the subject strongly of his adulthood. It can jar them back to reality, if you can produce a visceral sensation of something that a child wouldn't understand or recognize."
"Looks like it's not a problem anymore, anyway," Kirk says, glancing over at Hikaru to make sure he's still an adult. Hikaru steps back a little, Kirk's hand sliding from his waist. "He's back to normal."
"What? How'd it happen? What was the instigating factor?"
Kirk looks at Hikaru, and Hikaru can't hold his gaze. The childish feeling fades away, replaced by vague discomfort, worry, and uncertainty. He walks across the room, pulling his hands through his hair.
"Nothing, it just wore off," Kirk says. "Look - I'll bring him down there for an exam in a sec. He's just, you know, taking a few minutes to get used to being full-sized again."
"Alright, well, good." McCoy sounds a little flustered by this development, but pleased. "Don't be too long getting him down here."
"Yep." Kirk shuts his communicator off and puts it back on his desk. Hikaru stands with his hands on his hips and stares at Kirk's aquarium. It seems so much smaller now, so straightforward and ordinary, and he wishes this didn't make him so sad.
"Hikaru -" Kirk starts to say, and Hikaru is afraid to hear any more, so he's glad when Pavel comes bounding into the room, laughing with relief when he sees that Hikaru has been restored.
"Hikaru!" he says, pulling him into a hug. "Oh, it's you, thank goodness!" Hikaru laughs and hugs him back, glancing at Kirk over his shoulder. Kirk is fiddling with his data pads, and Hikaru assumes he's deleting the drawing Hikaru scribbled onto his report about their last away mission.
It shouldn't bother him so much, and maybe it shouldn't mean so much, six months later, when Hikaru walks up behind Kirk during a dull stakeout on a moon of Yurta and catches him looking at that drawing on his PADD, black and white except for their gold shirts, stick figure Hikaru and Kirk smiling under an alien moon. Kirk practically chokes on his tongue when he realizes that Hikaru has seen what he's looking at, and Hikaru never thought he'd see his captain stammer.
Not knowing what to say doesn't suit Kirk at all, so Hikaru kisses him hard, to save him from trying to explain.
/the end/