"Pretentious" and "better"
I've been thinking a lot about "pretentious:" it's a weird word and describes a weird state of being. "Pretentious" is something I really don't want to be. I think back on moments where I've been unabashedly pretentious and I visibly react as I relive the memory. I shirk. I really don't think I'm better than anyone else. Different, at a stretch, but not better.
"Better" is a dumb value system, anyway. There's no way to really determine "better." All that funny literary criticism from the 50's and 60's proves my point: "better" does not support your claim, silly!
I often find myself confused by people. Maybe purposely confused because they're going places I am heartily resisting. I can't live in a world where "pretentious" is something I feel comfortable in and "better" becomes my way of marking "yes" or "no." At the very least the pretense--if it is only to be that--is extremely important to me. Let me have my lie, but live it as if I'm striving for something else.
"Better" is a dumb value system, anyway. There's no way to really determine "better." All that funny literary criticism from the 50's and 60's proves my point: "better" does not support your claim, silly!
I often find myself confused by people. Maybe purposely confused because they're going places I am heartily resisting. I can't live in a world where "pretentious" is something I feel comfortable in and "better" becomes my way of marking "yes" or "no." At the very least the pretense--if it is only to be that--is extremely important to me. Let me have my lie, but live it as if I'm striving for something else.