what? 4 months without any updates and now 2 in less than a week
god, i need to be asleep cause i work early tomorrow. but for some reason i've been reading over past entries and stuff in my journal. have you ever done that? just spent a good long while remembering what happened and seeing how you got where you are. damn, it was depressing. it really was. there were a lot things that made me smile and laugh. but too much that made me think that i became a horrible person. i mean, i don't think i'm that person anymore. but, i guess i am, since it took all that to get where i am now. i'm just thinking about all the people i let down. including myself. i could trace where i lost all hope and any sort of optimism. there was a good almost two years where i kept digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole. and now, i don't know why, but i think that's all over. it just sucks that i basically ignored so many people that were very important parts of my life. i've lost touch with so many...and i don't know if i can ever get back to how it used to be. things can't be like they were. i know that. i just saw that i screwed up for so long. in many ways. i miss the past (i always do though). and i miss so many of you. there's really no point to this entry. i just felt the need to say these things right now. i'm just feeling a bit melancholy about it all and reminiscing about the good ol' days. well, i've put off going to sleep for long enough. so i'll stop rambling now.