Cliffs of Midgar
Title: Cliffs of Midgar
Author: LoveAngel2141
Beta Credit: torncorpse
Characters: Zack Fair & Cloud Strife
Written For: 12_Stories - Eight - Miscellaneous B - Loss
Word Count: 1,555
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The light of his life was gone, and there was nothing, no power that could bring him back. Not even the light that she was willing to share with him could crack into his hardened outer shell.
Disclaimer: This is a total and complete work of fiction. I in no way own any of the character's mentioned in this work of fiction. I am not making any sort of profit off of this.
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Authors's Note: So I'm placing the blame for this one on myself. It just came to me, and I felt the need to write it. It's something new for me, and a new twist on something that mad me incredibly sad. Not that writing this didn't have the same effect. This is either going to get me a hug fan base, or a lot of tomatoes thrown at me. I'm going for the tomatoes.
This is in no way canon, in fact I laugh in the face of canon. So be prepared. Also, this contains character death, so if that upsets you, please don't read past this point.
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The sun was shining on the world outside, warming it's surface from where it had cooled the night before. Slowly the Earths inhabitants were waking up and greeting a new day, with all of its shinning promises. They could start fresh, they could start new, with all of their old sins magically erased by the cleansing power of the moon light. Morning was a time for refreshment, for reflection. A time for planning and a time for organizing.
It was, out of all the times, out of all the phases of the day, the time that Zack hated most.
Nothing good had ever come with the rising of the sun. Not for some one who had lived for the past year living in the darkness, hiding in it. It was, after all, easier to keep secrets where no one could see you were keeping them. And there were too many secrets buried deep within his heart to ever allow himself out into the light. He knew that even the smallest ray of light being shed on those long buried feelings would awaken them again. It was something he wasn't sure if he would be able to deal with.
He had learned to deal with grief. He had learned to deal with loss, and with pain, and with the pain that came from loss. He had learned how to live alone, without the person who had meant the most to him. Without the person who had literally been the only shining ray of light left in his life. Without the person who had been his sky, with all of it's many shiny stars, with it's round glowing moon, and with it's bright, glaring sun. He had been everything to Zack, and when that comfort, that knowing warmth had been ripped from him, so to had his spirit, his will to live.
Staring out of the strained and cracked window of the small apartment he had rented he watched as the sun rose into the sky. The clouds slowly being illuminated bringing the thoughts of the person who had been named for them. Thoughts of the person who had carried so much light inside of him that it was almost blinding. It wasn't fair, how could it possibly be fair that such a light could be extinguished when his own light, his own life, dim as it was, was allowed to go on.
It was another fact of life that he would never be able to come to grips with. It was another one of those unfathomable twists that the road of life took on. It was beyond his understanding. Beyond the understanding of any reasonably thinking human being. Why was one allowed to go on when the other half of their existence was allowed to die.
Guilt and blame set in as his deep blue eyes wafted towards the fluffy white clouds hanging against the back drop of the baby blue sky. If only he had been faster, if only he had been stronger. It was his fault for leaving him there, completely unguarded. Just when he was starting to regain himself. Just when his beloved was finally starting to come back to him.
He heard the door of his small, dark bedroom open even as the heavy footsteps rang in his ears. He didn't want to have to deal with her. It hurt to even look at her. She would never, could never, understand his sense of loss. His sense of mourning. His sense of not being able to go on without the light of love and laughter in his life. The only thing that had kept him alive these past few months had been the knowledge that it was what he would have wanted. He would have wanted him to fight, to continue to fight. To go on without him and to live the life that they had always dreamt of. Alone.
"It's a beautiful day." Her voice cut through the mist that was currently clouding his mind, clear and calm. "You should come out and enjoy it."
"There's nothing out there for me." His voice was nothing more than a whisper, so quiet in fact that she had to strain to hear him. She knew his pain ran deep, but it didn't stop her from trying to heal the wounds he carried. She refused to stop trying.
"There's so much out there Zack, so much out that's just waiting for you." She walked closer to him, hoping that her presence would have a comforting effect on him, instead of the usual effect of making him feel all the more guilty for not answering her wishes. "You just have to be willing to go out there and find it."
"Why are you still here Aerith?" He asked quietly, his eyes shutting tightly with the forced of the question. She was his only remaining life line. The only power that was still keeping him on this earth. The only thing that had kept him from giving up completely. No matter he would have wanted, Aerith was the only thing that had kept him from taking his own life. The only thing keeping him from rejoining his love in the life stream.
"Because." She struggled with her answer, not entirely sure what had kept her here for all of those months. Not sure why she still held on to some figment of her imagination. Some figment of hope that the man she had known and loved would come back to her.
"See, you don't know either." The statement resounded in the small room. It was the truth, the cold and honest truth, but it hurt her none the less.
"I'm here because I want to be." Her resolve coming back momentarily. She had to hold on to the belief that she held deep in her heart that all was not lost. That everything would one day come go back to being normal, at least as normal as it could ever be. "I'm here because I still have hope."
"How many times to I have to tell you Aerith? Your hope is lost on me." Her bright shining light, the one that shone so brightly it had almost matched his, was not enough to make him look past his own state of despair.
"I know you miss him." She was unable, unwilling to say his name, knowing that it would only drive her companion further away from her, into the refuge of the dark he was so accustom to lurking in. Instead she stood beside, and noticed with dismay that his hands were clenched tightly, clinging to the fabric of the sweater he wore. His hands crossed over his chest in a protective manner, trying to keep the pain from releasing into the room.
"You have no idea." The whispered voice was hoarse, and she could tell he was battling against the tears that were threatening to spill out of his eyes.
"Zack, when are you going to realize that no matter what, no matter who we lose, the living have to keep on living." She knew her words that were meant for comfort were going to have the opposite effect, but at the current moment she couldn't have cared less. "He wouldn't want to sit in this cold, dark bedroom wallowing in a pit of your own despair and self pity."
"How do you know what he would have wanted?" The voice was stronger now, the leading edge of anger coming through strongly. "He wanted to live Aerith. He wanted to live. He wanted to make a life together. He wanted to be a hero, even if he already was."
"Zack." The name cut through the air that was thick with tension. She knew she had taken the wrong path, knew she'd gone in the wrong direction before she had even let the words past her lips. Her hands came up to press against his trembling shoulders, only to have him shrug away from her touch. She knew she had lost. For today, this day that had started off with so much promise, she had once again lost her own battle against lost and dispair.
He could hear the heavy steps as she crossed the old wooden floor, followed by the sound of the door opening and closing quietly. He barely heard the sigh that was released as she looked back at him, his head lifted, his eyes still resolutely fixed on the clouds outside. In ways, in many ways, his life was over. His light had gone. It had left him when the young man he had loved so deeply, so completely, had passed from this one into the next.
As the sun settled high in the sky, his own visions, his own illusions began to play in his head, playing in front of his eyes. It was almost as if he were here again, standing in this room with him. It was as if the past year, as if that day on the cliff over looking the city of Midgar had never happened. It was almost as if, for once, the sun, the daylight, was on his side. This, he thought, was the only blessing that remained in his life. The ability to pretend. And there, in the daylight, his world came to life once again.
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Authors's Note: So yes, I freaking killed the Cloud for the sake of my own twisted plot lines. Start hoisting those tomatoes now kids.
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Author: LoveAngel2141
Beta Credit: torncorpse
Characters: Zack Fair & Cloud Strife
Written For: 12_Stories - Eight - Miscellaneous B - Loss
Word Count: 1,555
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The light of his life was gone, and there was nothing, no power that could bring him back. Not even the light that she was willing to share with him could crack into his hardened outer shell.
Disclaimer: This is a total and complete work of fiction. I in no way own any of the character's mentioned in this work of fiction. I am not making any sort of profit off of this.
-----
Authors's Note: So I'm placing the blame for this one on myself. It just came to me, and I felt the need to write it. It's something new for me, and a new twist on something that mad me incredibly sad. Not that writing this didn't have the same effect. This is either going to get me a hug fan base, or a lot of tomatoes thrown at me. I'm going for the tomatoes.
This is in no way canon, in fact I laugh in the face of canon. So be prepared. Also, this contains character death, so if that upsets you, please don't read past this point.
------
The sun was shining on the world outside, warming it's surface from where it had cooled the night before. Slowly the Earths inhabitants were waking up and greeting a new day, with all of its shinning promises. They could start fresh, they could start new, with all of their old sins magically erased by the cleansing power of the moon light. Morning was a time for refreshment, for reflection. A time for planning and a time for organizing.
It was, out of all the times, out of all the phases of the day, the time that Zack hated most.
Nothing good had ever come with the rising of the sun. Not for some one who had lived for the past year living in the darkness, hiding in it. It was, after all, easier to keep secrets where no one could see you were keeping them. And there were too many secrets buried deep within his heart to ever allow himself out into the light. He knew that even the smallest ray of light being shed on those long buried feelings would awaken them again. It was something he wasn't sure if he would be able to deal with.
He had learned to deal with grief. He had learned to deal with loss, and with pain, and with the pain that came from loss. He had learned how to live alone, without the person who had meant the most to him. Without the person who had literally been the only shining ray of light left in his life. Without the person who had been his sky, with all of it's many shiny stars, with it's round glowing moon, and with it's bright, glaring sun. He had been everything to Zack, and when that comfort, that knowing warmth had been ripped from him, so to had his spirit, his will to live.
Staring out of the strained and cracked window of the small apartment he had rented he watched as the sun rose into the sky. The clouds slowly being illuminated bringing the thoughts of the person who had been named for them. Thoughts of the person who had carried so much light inside of him that it was almost blinding. It wasn't fair, how could it possibly be fair that such a light could be extinguished when his own light, his own life, dim as it was, was allowed to go on.
It was another fact of life that he would never be able to come to grips with. It was another one of those unfathomable twists that the road of life took on. It was beyond his understanding. Beyond the understanding of any reasonably thinking human being. Why was one allowed to go on when the other half of their existence was allowed to die.
Guilt and blame set in as his deep blue eyes wafted towards the fluffy white clouds hanging against the back drop of the baby blue sky. If only he had been faster, if only he had been stronger. It was his fault for leaving him there, completely unguarded. Just when he was starting to regain himself. Just when his beloved was finally starting to come back to him.
He heard the door of his small, dark bedroom open even as the heavy footsteps rang in his ears. He didn't want to have to deal with her. It hurt to even look at her. She would never, could never, understand his sense of loss. His sense of mourning. His sense of not being able to go on without the light of love and laughter in his life. The only thing that had kept him alive these past few months had been the knowledge that it was what he would have wanted. He would have wanted him to fight, to continue to fight. To go on without him and to live the life that they had always dreamt of. Alone.
"It's a beautiful day." Her voice cut through the mist that was currently clouding his mind, clear and calm. "You should come out and enjoy it."
"There's nothing out there for me." His voice was nothing more than a whisper, so quiet in fact that she had to strain to hear him. She knew his pain ran deep, but it didn't stop her from trying to heal the wounds he carried. She refused to stop trying.
"There's so much out there Zack, so much out that's just waiting for you." She walked closer to him, hoping that her presence would have a comforting effect on him, instead of the usual effect of making him feel all the more guilty for not answering her wishes. "You just have to be willing to go out there and find it."
"Why are you still here Aerith?" He asked quietly, his eyes shutting tightly with the forced of the question. She was his only remaining life line. The only power that was still keeping him on this earth. The only thing that had kept him from giving up completely. No matter he would have wanted, Aerith was the only thing that had kept him from taking his own life. The only thing keeping him from rejoining his love in the life stream.
"Because." She struggled with her answer, not entirely sure what had kept her here for all of those months. Not sure why she still held on to some figment of her imagination. Some figment of hope that the man she had known and loved would come back to her.
"See, you don't know either." The statement resounded in the small room. It was the truth, the cold and honest truth, but it hurt her none the less.
"I'm here because I want to be." Her resolve coming back momentarily. She had to hold on to the belief that she held deep in her heart that all was not lost. That everything would one day come go back to being normal, at least as normal as it could ever be. "I'm here because I still have hope."
"How many times to I have to tell you Aerith? Your hope is lost on me." Her bright shining light, the one that shone so brightly it had almost matched his, was not enough to make him look past his own state of despair.
"I know you miss him." She was unable, unwilling to say his name, knowing that it would only drive her companion further away from her, into the refuge of the dark he was so accustom to lurking in. Instead she stood beside, and noticed with dismay that his hands were clenched tightly, clinging to the fabric of the sweater he wore. His hands crossed over his chest in a protective manner, trying to keep the pain from releasing into the room.
"You have no idea." The whispered voice was hoarse, and she could tell he was battling against the tears that were threatening to spill out of his eyes.
"Zack, when are you going to realize that no matter what, no matter who we lose, the living have to keep on living." She knew her words that were meant for comfort were going to have the opposite effect, but at the current moment she couldn't have cared less. "He wouldn't want to sit in this cold, dark bedroom wallowing in a pit of your own despair and self pity."
"How do you know what he would have wanted?" The voice was stronger now, the leading edge of anger coming through strongly. "He wanted to live Aerith. He wanted to live. He wanted to make a life together. He wanted to be a hero, even if he already was."
"Zack." The name cut through the air that was thick with tension. She knew she had taken the wrong path, knew she'd gone in the wrong direction before she had even let the words past her lips. Her hands came up to press against his trembling shoulders, only to have him shrug away from her touch. She knew she had lost. For today, this day that had started off with so much promise, she had once again lost her own battle against lost and dispair.
He could hear the heavy steps as she crossed the old wooden floor, followed by the sound of the door opening and closing quietly. He barely heard the sigh that was released as she looked back at him, his head lifted, his eyes still resolutely fixed on the clouds outside. In ways, in many ways, his life was over. His light had gone. It had left him when the young man he had loved so deeply, so completely, had passed from this one into the next.
As the sun settled high in the sky, his own visions, his own illusions began to play in his head, playing in front of his eyes. It was almost as if he were here again, standing in this room with him. It was as if the past year, as if that day on the cliff over looking the city of Midgar had never happened. It was almost as if, for once, the sun, the daylight, was on his side. This, he thought, was the only blessing that remained in his life. The ability to pretend. And there, in the daylight, his world came to life once again.
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Authors's Note: So yes, I freaking killed the Cloud for the sake of my own twisted plot lines. Start hoisting those tomatoes now kids.
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