(no subject)
Took J to see a movie, which he partially slept through. Since it was a period drama about maths and early computers, I was rapt. Thank god they didn't end on Turing eating the apple. I would have fallen apart, which is why I hate dramas.
And also THANK GOD there was no sex onscreen. Thank god it wasn't a Cumberbitch fanservice in any regard. And thank god Benedict can play a spectrum of real-life geniuses. Like Sherlock.
So I'm not quite sure how I feel about Jason yet. I hope we never have sex again. No matter how desperate I get.
I want to say nasty things about him, I want to dump him repeatedly to the fullest extent of humiliation, but it wouldn't be all that satisfying, knowing how much he has hated himself already. The coolest exterior, in this case, covers some deep-running emotions.
My post didn't upload half of it wast saved, because livejournal was offline. remembering why livejournal isn't so great, after all.
Just sorting out... J. I am underwhelmed by him, as usual. he was very stoned. I'm unsure why I have bothered all of this time. if I wanted an easy target, this should have been easier.
Whatever it is I want in a partner, it just isn't there and what is there is not worth enduring the bad stuff for. he's barely there, anyway. in my head I know that I'm loved, but I don't feel it.
I'm alternating between despair that what I'm looking for ist out there, and confidence that there are kindred spirits I still need to meet. in school? where?
And also THANK GOD there was no sex onscreen. Thank god it wasn't a Cumberbitch fanservice in any regard. And thank god Benedict can play a spectrum of real-life geniuses. Like Sherlock.
So I'm not quite sure how I feel about Jason yet. I hope we never have sex again. No matter how desperate I get.
I want to say nasty things about him, I want to dump him repeatedly to the fullest extent of humiliation, but it wouldn't be all that satisfying, knowing how much he has hated himself already. The coolest exterior, in this case, covers some deep-running emotions.
My post didn't upload half of it wast saved, because livejournal was offline. remembering why livejournal isn't so great, after all.
Just sorting out... J. I am underwhelmed by him, as usual. he was very stoned. I'm unsure why I have bothered all of this time. if I wanted an easy target, this should have been easier.
Whatever it is I want in a partner, it just isn't there and what is there is not worth enduring the bad stuff for. he's barely there, anyway. in my head I know that I'm loved, but I don't feel it.
I'm alternating between despair that what I'm looking for ist out there, and confidence that there are kindred spirits I still need to meet. in school? where?