5 was suppose to be my lucky number.
its been quite a calm morning.
my parents went to plan the funeral
and what not with the rest of the fam.
still missing him.
its kind of funny, when you tell the deceased
that you love them. I wonder if they actually hear you.
I hope he does.
Ive never been through anything quite like this.
Ive had two others in my life die.
but no one as close to me as this.
its just hard to think, that I will never be able to
see him, or hug him, or talk to him again.
I know everyone dies, but I feel like I didnt get
all the time that I had wanted with him before he left us.
even though we were kind of waiting for it, if you will,
I didnt think itd be this hard.
they would say he wasnt doing good, and that
he wasnt getting better, and it was just a matter of time.
but that went on for months, and so I guess you could
say I was hoping that it would just keep going on and
on for months. just so I could have more time with him.
he was in pain though. and he coudlnt eat. and he couldnt
move. he couldnt and didnt do anything.
Im happy that he isnt suffering anymore, but that wont
stop me from wishing that he was still here with us.
I dont like feeling this way.
to many emotions all at once.
I dont want to be alone.
I dont want to work.
I want to smoke.
I want to talk.
I want to much right ow.
some things I know I cant have.
my parents went to plan the funeral
and what not with the rest of the fam.
still missing him.
its kind of funny, when you tell the deceased
that you love them. I wonder if they actually hear you.
I hope he does.
Ive never been through anything quite like this.
Ive had two others in my life die.
but no one as close to me as this.
its just hard to think, that I will never be able to
see him, or hug him, or talk to him again.
I know everyone dies, but I feel like I didnt get
all the time that I had wanted with him before he left us.
even though we were kind of waiting for it, if you will,
I didnt think itd be this hard.
they would say he wasnt doing good, and that
he wasnt getting better, and it was just a matter of time.
but that went on for months, and so I guess you could
say I was hoping that it would just keep going on and
on for months. just so I could have more time with him.
he was in pain though. and he coudlnt eat. and he couldnt
move. he couldnt and didnt do anything.
Im happy that he isnt suffering anymore, but that wont
stop me from wishing that he was still here with us.
I dont like feeling this way.
to many emotions all at once.
I dont want to be alone.
I dont want to work.
I want to smoke.
I want to talk.
I want to much right ow.
some things I know I cant have.