Alright Adstringendum, I've taken notice that a lot of you are preparing for Prom, and that most of you are excited for this. [Why it is that you are still baffles him.]
I would like to offer my services. I am willing to teach several of you how to not only dance, but impress everyone else on the dance floor, and above all else, your dancing partner.
There would only be a small fee. Something little, like food, a knife, perhaps a blanket. It's up for discussion.
Also: If someone is looking for a dress for said occasion, I have one I am willing to barter away. [He says as he holds up
this beauty]