dark thoughts
I'm on antidepressants. My therapist and I have considered me going on them before, but ever since the hospital, my lows have been unbearable. I've been pretty haunted but some not-so-great thoughts, and instead of it scaring me, I feel apathy toward them. My sister told me that 1 in 3 people die from pulmonary embolisms and isn't of thinking "wow I'm lucky that I'm active and healthy and it was caught in time," I thought "why am still here?"
SO I've been on lexapro for about a week. Honestly, I've been most at peace with punting some emotional control over to medication. yeah, I've been through lows, and I can usually power through them but why should I carry all this weight when I'm also trying to figure out whats wrong with my health, arguing with my insurance company, and running a small business. The major plus that I've noticed is that I my emotional control is a lot better and therefore my communication with others has gone up. So if thats the best I can hope for, thats fucking great.
Tybalt is still struggling with health stuff but he's more active and seems happy so I'm holding off doing a follow up to the vet. Tomorrow I'm going to drop Sidda off at my exes parents house while I do overnights, and I'm a little worried about seeing them after 4 years. The last time I saw them, he and I were still together. Everything will be fine, I just never expected to see them again? Meh, whatever it's just a drop off.
SO I've been on lexapro for about a week. Honestly, I've been most at peace with punting some emotional control over to medication. yeah, I've been through lows, and I can usually power through them but why should I carry all this weight when I'm also trying to figure out whats wrong with my health, arguing with my insurance company, and running a small business. The major plus that I've noticed is that I my emotional control is a lot better and therefore my communication with others has gone up. So if thats the best I can hope for, thats fucking great.
Tybalt is still struggling with health stuff but he's more active and seems happy so I'm holding off doing a follow up to the vet. Tomorrow I'm going to drop Sidda off at my exes parents house while I do overnights, and I'm a little worried about seeing them after 4 years. The last time I saw them, he and I were still together. Everything will be fine, I just never expected to see them again? Meh, whatever it's just a drop off.