He knew he should leave this place, just as it had been suggested to him more than once. He didn't belong here. He couldn't destroy himself; no matter what he tried, he'd just heal. Losing control was too big of a risk to stay in Mileux. When the evil in him emerged next, if he was far away, and if Phoebe and Anders moved, maybe he wouldn't be ( Read more... )

Cole had thought about what Dean had said to him about not caring about hurting Phoebe or anyone else if he was as evil as he thought. He did care -- well, now he did. But there was no way to stop the Source from possessing him again. Or his demonic nature might slip free of his control. He couldn't risk it. If he left, he would just come back ( Read more... )

Cole? Brooding. Trying to figure out a way to kill himself. So what else was new?

[For givemethehunt.]

Efforts to destroy himself were proving completely unsuccessful, which was making Cole all the more insane. Instead of being focused on Phoebe and Anders, he was obsessed with ending his own life. That way he could never hurt them again -- or anyone else ( Read more... )

He didn't sleep much. He was too restless, searching for a way to end his life, and when he did sleep, he'd ( dream. )

He was a little more lucid now, but not by much. Instead of rage, despair consumed him.

He felt her pain the day before, felt her tears. Because of him. What had he done? How could he do that to her? He'd almost killed her. Phoebe. His Bright One. The woman who'd restored his soul and made him feel human again ( Read more... )