(no subject)
So. About those Shippuden episodes...
First seven minutes: basically can be summed up as "FUCK YOU, DANZO" and "CREEP MORE, OROCHIMARU, NO WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN IT WHY DO YOU AND KABUTO ALWAYS TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE."
7:40 mark: OH FUCK YOU, DANZO, AT LEAST SARUTOBI COULDN'T KILL HIM BECAUSE OF REMEMBERING WHAT A CUTE SNAKE BABY HE WAS, you're actively refraining from killing him so you can use him to implant sharingan in your arm like a fucking creep.
NO OROCHIMARU I'M NOT GOING TO FEEL BAD FOR YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL HOT AND SWEATY AND INJURED
wtf smoke people how the hell did Orochimaru and Danzo get a terrible hold of you well let me tell you I'm not watching the next few episodes but I can promise you, smoke people, those two are not worth it and you should go find some other people to be nice to like literally you could be nice to Zabuza or Kisame or Deidara and that would be better than serving Danzo and Orochimaru
I'm sorry cute girl named Yukimi but yeah you probably do need all those tree-grave markers because children sent to Orochimaru tend to DIE (OR BECOME POST-TIMESKIP SASUKE) (WHICH FATE IS WORSE, YOU DECIDE)
JUST FALL OVER AND DIE, OROCHIMARU, DO EVERYONE A FAVOR
terrible Shippuden pacing is in full effect so I'm not going to watch the other episodes just to see how Orochimaru escapes I'm going to assume he completely abuses the goodwill of the smoke people and everyone nice dies except baby Yamato WHO IS PRECIOUS and Kakashi
Also I'd like to take this moment to say "HOW DARE YOU" to the OP/ED animators for this section because FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU ANIMATE ITACHI AND SASUKE VS. KABUMARU IN THE CAVE MY HEART IS NOT READY and SECOND OF ALL HOW DARE YOU ANIMATE SAD OBITO MOMENTS NO I'M NOT HERE FOR THIS I DO NOT WANT IT AT ALL.
omg timeskip baby Yamato has long hair that's precious
but Kakashi's voice hasn't even cracked yet haha hah ha KILL ME NOW
OH JESUS H FUCKIN CHRIST HORRIFYING OROCHIMARU SNAKE MONSTER NO THANKS SERIOUSLY DUDE I WAS REALLY KIDDING WHEN I SAID "COULD YOU GET ANY CREEPIER" and it's not even him it's just some weird thing he left in his lab
I really do hate that guy, for the record.
FUCK YOU DANZO FLASHBACK YOU CAN'T HAVE OBITO'S EYE AND FOR THE RECORD I REALLY HATE THAT GUY, TOO.
FUCK YOU FOREVER DANZO YOU ARE STILL THE WORST YOU ARE LITERALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR AT LEAST 85% OF THE NINJA WORLD'S PROBLEMS but hi baby Yuugao it's super nice to see you go kick some Root ass
DANZO PLEASE SHUT UP BEFORE I ACTUALLY PUT MY FIST THROUGH MY LAPTOP SCREEN YOU ARE MAKING ME SO MAD I HATE YOU THE MOST EVEN MADARA AT LEAST HAD A CUTE CHILDHOOD ROMANCE WITH HASHIRAMA YOU'RE JUST A LIFELONG DICK
also that can't be Shisui's sharingan in Danzo's current sharingan eye so whose sharingan is it
HOLY SHIT THANK YOU SARUTOBI now if only you had the heart/sense to just cut off Danzo's head right here and now
YOU FUCKING LIAR, DANZO, I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND MORE WITH EVERY PASSING SECOND
oh if only baby Yamato could have told Danzo to fuck off forever instead of saying "thank you for everything" I MEAN THANK DANZO FOR WHAT, BEING A MANIPULATIVE POWER-HUNGRY SHITHEEL WHO TRIED TO USE YOU TO STEAL A LOYAL LEAF SHINOBI'S EYE? YEAH SURE THAT'S DEFINITELY SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR??
NO BUT SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU ANIMATORS FOR ANIMATING SAD OBITO SHIT IN THE ED
OH THE PREVIEW FOR THIS EPISODE AT THE END OF 356 HAS ITACHI SHOWING UP SHOOT ME I'M GOING TO CRY brb I need a break to wash dishes
okay I'm back and the OP changed thank fuck at least it's slightly less inappropriate pop music over less heart-killing scenes HAHA NO WAIT I TAKE IT BACK I SAW A SHOT OF BABY HASHIRAMA FUCK EVERYTHING
haha Kakashi you're so cheerful "a kill is a kill" well you're not wrong either *sob*
GAI ♥ ♥ ♥ YOU'RE THE BEST PLEASE DON'T JOIN ANBU YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THEM (it would still be utterly hilarious if he was the spy who got sent to Akatsuki instead of Itachi though)
... okay everyone pay very close attention because this is something I will never, ever, in the entire future history of the universe, say again: BLESS YOU, DANZO, FOR NOT LETTING GAI JOIN ROOT, THAT IS THE SINGLE GOOD DECISION YOU'VE MADE AND I FEEL DIRTY EVEN ADMITTING IT BUT I AM NOT ONE TO DENY CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE
oh thank the gods even Kakashi is like "but he's kind of young" about Itachi bless you Kakashi and fuck Danzo for recommending Itachi join ANBU see I told you that the above was a one-time unique occurrence
OH MY GOD NO HE'S LITERALLY TINY ITACHI NO YOU ARE A CHILD GO HOME AND PLAY WITH SOME LEGOS AND YOUR BABY BROTHER
NO
HE'S TINIER THAN YAMATO
"they say he's eleven years old" THAT'S BECAUSE HE IS GO HOME RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN YOU ARE TOO TINY FOR THIS RIDE YOU HAVE TO GET OFF AND GO LEARN LONG DIVISION OR SOMETHING
THIS IS NOT OKAY I AM NOT OKAY
NO STOP THROWING THINGS AT YOUR BABY SQUAD MEMBER DIDN'T YOU HEAR THAT HE'S FUCKING ELEVEN but also capable of killing you all
"Do you have a problem with the decisions of your superiors?" YES YES I DO I'M RAISING BOTH OF MY HANDS SO HARD RIGHT NOW CALL ON ME KAKASHI I'M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE IN KONOHA EXACTLY WHAT I THINK OF THIS DECISION
Itachi you don't need to learn this or show off you need to go home this instant (but fuck the animation on that spinning kunai throw thing is lovely)
Fugaku why are you proud of this why aren't you starting the revolution early "HOW DARE YOU PUT AN ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD IN THE SPECIAL OPS SQUAD I THOUGHT THERE WERE AGE LIMITS"
FUCK. YOU. DANZO. STOP TALKING TO ITACHI RIGHT NOW.
oh my god no he's so tiny he barely comes up to Kakashi's shoulders I REPEAT THIS IS NOT OKAY AND I AM NOT OKAY DON'T MAKE THE TINY CHILD BE IN THE FUCKING ASSASSIN SQUAD
GO AWAY DANZO NOBODY LIKES YOU
Kakashi honey no don't listen to him you don't have any more darkness than like 90% of the village the Rin thing is not your fault
oh sweet fuck no they're sending Gai on the official trust-building mission that Itachi and Kakashi might have to sabotage on Danzo's orders oh babies nooooooooooooo
oh you guys are just full of it this Kakashi the friend-killer joke has gone too far also lol like Itachi wouldn't cheerfully stick a kunai in Kakashi's eye if he had to (well maybe not yet)
awwwwwwwww I'm so happy the old genin from that one filler episode is going on this mission too please help Gai and the other two stay alive (even though I know Gai will be fine I'M JUST A WORRYING SORT OF PERSON, OKAY)
Gai you are a smart person I love you and bless you for surviving the manga I TAKE BACK THE STUPID THINGS I SAID YESTERDAY I'M SO GLAD EVERYONE I CARED ABOUT LIVED
oh Itachi baby no stop being so enthusiastic how can you not realize this is the worst job go home now please
HOW COULD YOU BETRAY GAI YOU HANNYA PEOPLE HOW CAN YOU EVEN LOOK AT HIS NOBLE FACE AND THINK OF BETRAYING HIM YOU DESERVE WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO YOU
omg that's so cute Kakashi's defensive rock wall has the faces of his dogs in it THAT'S ADORABLE AS FUCK
ITACHI IS THIS THE TIME TO ASK KAKASHI ABOUT WHETHER HE'D KILL COMRADES IS IT REALLY
omg but he admired Gai's taijutsu that's also adorable as fuck now I'm remembering that in the future of "The Chase" Gai actively avoids Itachi because Itachi is so creepily grateful to him for saving Shisui's life, there's your fun fact for the day
ITACHI JUST STUCK HIS SWORD THROUGH AN INJURED DUDE'S THROAT THAT'S A THING I HAVE WITNESSED HAPPENING THAT'S A THING HE HAD TO DO WHEN HE WAS FUCKING ELEVEN FML FML FML
BABY YOU'RE SO LITTLE AND GAI LOOKS SO BETRAYED NO THIS IS THE WORST END ME
ITACHI STOP ASKING KAKASHI AWKWARD QUESTIONS WHY ARE YOU THE WORST CHILD JUST GO HOME AND WASH THE BLOOD OFF AND TRY NOT TO GET YOUR TERRIBLENESS ALL OVER SASUKE this shit is why Kakashi and Itachi have the most awkward working relationship in the AU
don't fucking remind me about Obito don't make me think about it right now
JUST MAKE ITACHI LEAVE ANBU
NO
HE'S WAITING OUTSIDE THE ACADEMY FOR SASUKE NO STOP THIS I CAN'T
NO SASUKE'S SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM NO I WANT TO DIE JUST BURY ME OUT BACK WITH MY COPY OF VOLUME 43 AND THE DYING ITACHI CELL PHONE CHARM
HOW DARE YOU, SHIPPUDEN, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU
OH NO SHISUI HI SHISUI LOOK AT YOUR SENSIBLE FACE
Okay this is where I have to stop because I was not ready for this flood of uncontrollable emotions, I should have worked my way up to it somehow. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS. Why don't I have a capslock tag? I think I might need one but going back and retagging is too much effort...
Crossposted from Dreamwidth - read the original post here: http://hokuton-punch.dreamwidth.org/1051191.html .
First seven minutes: basically can be summed up as "FUCK YOU, DANZO" and "CREEP MORE, OROCHIMARU, NO WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN IT WHY DO YOU AND KABUTO ALWAYS TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE."
7:40 mark: OH FUCK YOU, DANZO, AT LEAST SARUTOBI COULDN'T KILL HIM BECAUSE OF REMEMBERING WHAT A CUTE SNAKE BABY HE WAS, you're actively refraining from killing him so you can use him to implant sharingan in your arm like a fucking creep.
NO OROCHIMARU I'M NOT GOING TO FEEL BAD FOR YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL HOT AND SWEATY AND INJURED
wtf smoke people how the hell did Orochimaru and Danzo get a terrible hold of you well let me tell you I'm not watching the next few episodes but I can promise you, smoke people, those two are not worth it and you should go find some other people to be nice to like literally you could be nice to Zabuza or Kisame or Deidara and that would be better than serving Danzo and Orochimaru
I'm sorry cute girl named Yukimi but yeah you probably do need all those tree-grave markers because children sent to Orochimaru tend to DIE (OR BECOME POST-TIMESKIP SASUKE) (WHICH FATE IS WORSE, YOU DECIDE)
JUST FALL OVER AND DIE, OROCHIMARU, DO EVERYONE A FAVOR
terrible Shippuden pacing is in full effect so I'm not going to watch the other episodes just to see how Orochimaru escapes I'm going to assume he completely abuses the goodwill of the smoke people and everyone nice dies except baby Yamato WHO IS PRECIOUS and Kakashi
Also I'd like to take this moment to say "HOW DARE YOU" to the OP/ED animators for this section because FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU ANIMATE ITACHI AND SASUKE VS. KABUMARU IN THE CAVE MY HEART IS NOT READY and SECOND OF ALL HOW DARE YOU ANIMATE SAD OBITO MOMENTS NO I'M NOT HERE FOR THIS I DO NOT WANT IT AT ALL.
omg timeskip baby Yamato has long hair that's precious
but Kakashi's voice hasn't even cracked yet haha hah ha KILL ME NOW
OH JESUS H FUCKIN CHRIST HORRIFYING OROCHIMARU SNAKE MONSTER NO THANKS SERIOUSLY DUDE I WAS REALLY KIDDING WHEN I SAID "COULD YOU GET ANY CREEPIER" and it's not even him it's just some weird thing he left in his lab
I really do hate that guy, for the record.
FUCK YOU DANZO FLASHBACK YOU CAN'T HAVE OBITO'S EYE AND FOR THE RECORD I REALLY HATE THAT GUY, TOO.
FUCK YOU FOREVER DANZO YOU ARE STILL THE WORST YOU ARE LITERALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR AT LEAST 85% OF THE NINJA WORLD'S PROBLEMS but hi baby Yuugao it's super nice to see you go kick some Root ass
DANZO PLEASE SHUT UP BEFORE I ACTUALLY PUT MY FIST THROUGH MY LAPTOP SCREEN YOU ARE MAKING ME SO MAD I HATE YOU THE MOST EVEN MADARA AT LEAST HAD A CUTE CHILDHOOD ROMANCE WITH HASHIRAMA YOU'RE JUST A LIFELONG DICK
also that can't be Shisui's sharingan in Danzo's current sharingan eye so whose sharingan is it
HOLY SHIT THANK YOU SARUTOBI now if only you had the heart/sense to just cut off Danzo's head right here and now
YOU FUCKING LIAR, DANZO, I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND MORE WITH EVERY PASSING SECOND
oh if only baby Yamato could have told Danzo to fuck off forever instead of saying "thank you for everything" I MEAN THANK DANZO FOR WHAT, BEING A MANIPULATIVE POWER-HUNGRY SHITHEEL WHO TRIED TO USE YOU TO STEAL A LOYAL LEAF SHINOBI'S EYE? YEAH SURE THAT'S DEFINITELY SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR??
NO BUT SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU ANIMATORS FOR ANIMATING SAD OBITO SHIT IN THE ED
OH THE PREVIEW FOR THIS EPISODE AT THE END OF 356 HAS ITACHI SHOWING UP SHOOT ME I'M GOING TO CRY brb I need a break to wash dishes
okay I'm back and the OP changed thank fuck at least it's slightly less inappropriate pop music over less heart-killing scenes HAHA NO WAIT I TAKE IT BACK I SAW A SHOT OF BABY HASHIRAMA FUCK EVERYTHING
haha Kakashi you're so cheerful "a kill is a kill" well you're not wrong either *sob*
GAI ♥ ♥ ♥ YOU'RE THE BEST PLEASE DON'T JOIN ANBU YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THEM (it would still be utterly hilarious if he was the spy who got sent to Akatsuki instead of Itachi though)
... okay everyone pay very close attention because this is something I will never, ever, in the entire future history of the universe, say again: BLESS YOU, DANZO, FOR NOT LETTING GAI JOIN ROOT, THAT IS THE SINGLE GOOD DECISION YOU'VE MADE AND I FEEL DIRTY EVEN ADMITTING IT BUT I AM NOT ONE TO DENY CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE
oh thank the gods even Kakashi is like "but he's kind of young" about Itachi bless you Kakashi and fuck Danzo for recommending Itachi join ANBU see I told you that the above was a one-time unique occurrence
OH MY GOD NO HE'S LITERALLY TINY ITACHI NO YOU ARE A CHILD GO HOME AND PLAY WITH SOME LEGOS AND YOUR BABY BROTHER
NO
HE'S TINIER THAN YAMATO
"they say he's eleven years old" THAT'S BECAUSE HE IS GO HOME RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN YOU ARE TOO TINY FOR THIS RIDE YOU HAVE TO GET OFF AND GO LEARN LONG DIVISION OR SOMETHING
THIS IS NOT OKAY I AM NOT OKAY
NO STOP THROWING THINGS AT YOUR BABY SQUAD MEMBER DIDN'T YOU HEAR THAT HE'S FUCKING ELEVEN but also capable of killing you all
"Do you have a problem with the decisions of your superiors?" YES YES I DO I'M RAISING BOTH OF MY HANDS SO HARD RIGHT NOW CALL ON ME KAKASHI I'M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE IN KONOHA EXACTLY WHAT I THINK OF THIS DECISION
Itachi you don't need to learn this or show off you need to go home this instant (but fuck the animation on that spinning kunai throw thing is lovely)
Fugaku why are you proud of this why aren't you starting the revolution early "HOW DARE YOU PUT AN ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD IN THE SPECIAL OPS SQUAD I THOUGHT THERE WERE AGE LIMITS"
FUCK. YOU. DANZO. STOP TALKING TO ITACHI RIGHT NOW.
oh my god no he's so tiny he barely comes up to Kakashi's shoulders I REPEAT THIS IS NOT OKAY AND I AM NOT OKAY DON'T MAKE THE TINY CHILD BE IN THE FUCKING ASSASSIN SQUAD
GO AWAY DANZO NOBODY LIKES YOU
Kakashi honey no don't listen to him you don't have any more darkness than like 90% of the village the Rin thing is not your fault
oh sweet fuck no they're sending Gai on the official trust-building mission that Itachi and Kakashi might have to sabotage on Danzo's orders oh babies nooooooooooooo
oh you guys are just full of it this Kakashi the friend-killer joke has gone too far also lol like Itachi wouldn't cheerfully stick a kunai in Kakashi's eye if he had to (well maybe not yet)
awwwwwwwww I'm so happy the old genin from that one filler episode is going on this mission too please help Gai and the other two stay alive (even though I know Gai will be fine I'M JUST A WORRYING SORT OF PERSON, OKAY)
Gai you are a smart person I love you and bless you for surviving the manga I TAKE BACK THE STUPID THINGS I SAID YESTERDAY I'M SO GLAD EVERYONE I CARED ABOUT LIVED
oh Itachi baby no stop being so enthusiastic how can you not realize this is the worst job go home now please
HOW COULD YOU BETRAY GAI YOU HANNYA PEOPLE HOW CAN YOU EVEN LOOK AT HIS NOBLE FACE AND THINK OF BETRAYING HIM YOU DESERVE WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO YOU
omg that's so cute Kakashi's defensive rock wall has the faces of his dogs in it THAT'S ADORABLE AS FUCK
ITACHI IS THIS THE TIME TO ASK KAKASHI ABOUT WHETHER HE'D KILL COMRADES IS IT REALLY
omg but he admired Gai's taijutsu that's also adorable as fuck now I'm remembering that in the future of "The Chase" Gai actively avoids Itachi because Itachi is so creepily grateful to him for saving Shisui's life, there's your fun fact for the day
ITACHI JUST STUCK HIS SWORD THROUGH AN INJURED DUDE'S THROAT THAT'S A THING I HAVE WITNESSED HAPPENING THAT'S A THING HE HAD TO DO WHEN HE WAS FUCKING ELEVEN FML FML FML
BABY YOU'RE SO LITTLE AND GAI LOOKS SO BETRAYED NO THIS IS THE WORST END ME
ITACHI STOP ASKING KAKASHI AWKWARD QUESTIONS WHY ARE YOU THE WORST CHILD JUST GO HOME AND WASH THE BLOOD OFF AND TRY NOT TO GET YOUR TERRIBLENESS ALL OVER SASUKE this shit is why Kakashi and Itachi have the most awkward working relationship in the AU
don't fucking remind me about Obito don't make me think about it right now
JUST MAKE ITACHI LEAVE ANBU
NO
HE'S WAITING OUTSIDE THE ACADEMY FOR SASUKE NO STOP THIS I CAN'T
NO SASUKE'S SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM NO I WANT TO DIE JUST BURY ME OUT BACK WITH MY COPY OF VOLUME 43 AND THE DYING ITACHI CELL PHONE CHARM
HOW DARE YOU, SHIPPUDEN, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU
OH NO SHISUI HI SHISUI LOOK AT YOUR SENSIBLE FACE
Okay this is where I have to stop because I was not ready for this flood of uncontrollable emotions, I should have worked my way up to it somehow. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS. Why don't I have a capslock tag? I think I might need one but going back and retagging is too much effort...
Crossposted from Dreamwidth - read the original post here: http://hokuton-punch.dreamwidth.org/1051191.html .