Application: John "Gentleman Johnny" Marcone, Dresden Files fandom
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I admit a certain fondness for Pecorino Ginepro, it's excellent with wine.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Why am I killing either? It seems like a waste, given that either could have some use wrung out of him. But, if I must choose... the alleged comedian. I can at least use the 'dinosaur' to influence children if even I need to, while the other one seems to be mostly useful as a warning to others..
3. What time is it where you are?
Business hours, as always.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Sexual harassment is unprofessional - others may employ it, I will not.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
There's a bar in Chicago actually named My Bar. If I ever decided to bartend (in the dark) I would do so there, as the name is somewhat entertaining.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
It seems to me that marriage would simply close down options that might be better served remaining open.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Paperwork is generated according to a steadily increasing ratio. The more you do, the more is generated. In general, I've found it's much better to keep as few paper records as possible. With a little effort and planning, paperwork can be all but eliminated.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I don't believe anyone's ever accused me of uselessness, but very well. I took over and consolidated Chicago's underworld some years ago (it was a wonder anything managed to function at all), and still control the majority of crime there ('organized' and otherwise), and neither mundane nor supernatural enemies have managed to do anything at all about it.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Apart from common bribes such as money or priceless artworks, I can also put myself in a position to offer more interesting items, such as the Shroud of Turin. Of course, in keeping with the interesting nature of this interview, you might prefer a cupcake.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____JM_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____JM_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____JM____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___JM________"
((I have consulted with Harry-Dresden-mun, who has approved my applying Marcone))