RP open to Ravenclaws: Hangin' with Homsar

[estebanmd]

It was a slow weeknight

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[slothbefouler]

Jack was now engaged in an important quest: to locate the magic bathroom which had trapped him for so long, and jam the lock so nobody else could ever be trapped again. (He had attempted to look for it while showing Vimes around the castle, but had been somewhat distracted at the time

[homsarhomsar]

The conversation Homsar was in had been getting pretty frustrating. The board game piece just didn't seem to understand plain English! He took leave of the conversation and blibbled over to the newcomer (some sort of piece from one of those war games, like Risk or Stratego, if Homsar had judged rightly), hoping for a coherent conversation this time.

"DaaaAAAAaaaAAAAaaaAAAA! I'm a party vertebrate!"

[slothbefouler]

Oh dear. The white thing with the hat had just... spoken to him. He stared at it for a moment in consternation, wondering how he ought to reply. Did normal rules of etiquette even apply in this situation? Well, he would do his best. He was nothing if not well-bred.

He drew himself up and straightened his coat. "Good evening, Mr. Vertebrate," he said politely. "My name is Captain Jack Aubrey. Pleased to make your acquaintance, sir."

[fm_elric]

After his embarassing talk with Lily, Ed was eager to get as faw away from that part of the room as possible. He spotted Homsar and his Charms partner, Jack Aubrey and walked over to them.

"Hi, Professor, hi Jack. Jack, have you met Professor Homsar yet?" He gestured toward the white blibbling thing Jack was currently talking to. "He's, well... He's the pride of the peaches, or so he says." Ed shrugged at Jack helplessly and mouthed, "Mad as a spoon," at him.

[slothbefouler]

"Oh, hullo, Mr. Elric," Jack said, relieved to see another familiar face. (Ed was so short that he had overlooked the fellow upon first entering the room.) "Well... err, it's very nice to meet you, Professor. Pride of the peaches is certainly a most excellent accomplishment." He leaned down and whispered to Ed, "He's a professor?"

[homsarhomsar]

Homsar blibbled a circle around the war-game piece, his bowler hat doing 360s all the while. Finally, stopping right at the tips of the Jack's toes, he looked up and said, "I'm ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife. Kashooooooooooooooooo!" His bowler hat puffed out into the shape of a sailor hat and then deflated and settled back on his head.

Homsar then turned to Ed Elric Sincerely. He had grown to like the big guy (yes, to Homsar, Ed was tall!), and he was genuinely glad to see him.

"DaaaAAAAaaaAAAAaaaAAAA! I always put my best foot flowered!" he shouted. It was quite the statement of affection, and he hoped Sincerely would be flattered.

[fm_elric]

"It's, er, good to see you too, professor." He smiled at Homsar.

Ed whispered to Jack, "He's pretty smart when he's lucid, but I think some arithmantic rite ate part of his brain or something."

[slothbefouler]

Jack looked down at the white blibbling thing and nodded agreeably. Humor the creature, that was the way to do it. "Yes, well, isn't that always the way?" he remarked. "You can never find the thing you need the most."

He turned to Ed and whispered, "Arithmantic? Is that some sort of mathematics?" He wondered if his nautical calculations might eventually drive him mad. He had a vague image of himself blibbling around the deck of the Surprise babbling about spoons and peaches.

[homsarhomsar]

Homsar was deeply relieved. Risk and Stratego always were thinking people's board games. Perhaps the board game piece from before was from Parcheesi. It was a great game, but it was no intellectual pursuit. Or Trivial Pursuit.

Or Jenga.

He blibbled backwards and said pensively (which is to say, in his usual loud, muppety tone of voice), "I think I found the winning ticket!"

[slothbefouler]

"Did you now? How nice for you. I give you joy, sir." Jack had had madmen aboard his ship before, but had never engaged them in polite conversation - generally they were busy screaming while Stephen dosed them with laudanum. Perhaps this creature could use some laudanum, although it hardly seemed violent. "Pray, tell me more about your profession," he continued. "You study arithmantics, is that it?"

[homsarhomsar]

Arithmancy was indeed Homsar's profession, but that did not mean he knew a single thing about it. This was not troubling in the least, however. After all, Homsar was also the pride of the peaches, a song from the sixties, and captain of the gravy train, but he knew nothing about fruit, oldies, or sauces derived from meat. He just blibbled along in life, and that was just fine with him. Except when heavy weights were dropped on him, but even then, he always managed to recover.

Regardless, there was only one answer to Jack's question.

"DaaaAAAAaaaAAAAaaaAAAA! I think I won the Powerball!"

[slothbefouler]

Despite his predilection for drinking too much and singing bawdy sea shanties in the presence of young ladies, Jack was nevertheless far too well-bred to actually "facepalm" while talking to a professor - even if the professor in question was mad as a spoon. Nevertheless, the conversation was clearly going nowhere, and Jack wanted a drink and some more rational discourse.

"Powerball and a winning ticket - why, this must be your lucky day, sir. Well, it has been very pleasant talking to you, Professor Homsar. Good day to you." Jack bowed politely and moved off through the throng of Ravenclaws towards the bar.