Stephen receives this ... missive ... which appears to have been ... a ... collaborative effort ....
... The sound of headdesking is probably audible from outside his office.
Finally he writes ... something.
Write me again when you sober up. - S.
And gives it to the house-elf to give to the waiting raven, and after it's gone, wonders what on earth she's on about hands for. His hands happen to be scarred from a particularly nasty interrogation in Minorca. They're missing three fingernails from that occasion. Maybe she's remembering the other-self's hands? Oh God. What if drinking brings the memories out even more for her? What is she telling whoever is helping her write this thing?
*OMG SO ANGRY! totally warded*estebanmdJune 16 2006, 09:51:58 UTC
.... Must ... stop ... sleeping ... with ... teenage ... girls. Really. Because they just don't know how to be discreet!
A bit more headdesking later, Stephen writes back:
I take it from the handwriting that you have shown yourself incapable of discretion. I go to great lengths to protect you and now you compromise everything, for what?
Re: *OMG SO ANGRY! totally warded*nopower_overmeJune 16 2006, 09:56:25 UTC
[copious tears litter the parchment]
Only told Lily, she loves me, Stephen, and won't tell, said I'm no whore. Needed Lily. Sorry, Stephen, please don't hate me. Can't see the scratches, too blurry, the important is in the scratches, always is...
*still omg angry!!!!!! and yes it is soooo warded*estebanmdJune 16 2006, 10:01:46 UTC
Oh bloody hell. Lily Potter? or Evans, whichever she wanted to call herself, he had thought it indelicate to ask. She was a nice enough girl but honestly, no one was supposed to know about this, because River was a fucking telepath with homicidal tendencies, and wasn't particularly stable lately ...
I hope Mrs Potter is a talented Occlumens in that case. Of course you are not a whore, good God, anyone would know you did not choose this and I certainly know it well enough.
Promise me you will never breathe a word of this to anyone again.
Re: *quacks like a duck because warding is bad*nopower_overmeJune 16 2006, 10:13:28 UTC
[more tears]
SHE IS! A BRILLIANT ONE!
Am too whore, wasn't before when d'int chose, am now that the possessive bitch inside is sleeeeeeeeping and I CHOOSE, don't care if I am. loveyou somuch
I PROMISE!!! It's the bottles, Steeephen, no more blue bottles, EVER. Or any other color!
Still hate me? I'm soooo soooory.
Professor Stephen Hot Handed Man Proffesor,
I am, in fact, a verry good at Occlumens. And I would appreciate it muchly if you were nicer to my mate, Sarah. She's pretty and smart and why the bloody hell do you men always have to be so mean! You should be more like women. Only with your man bits. And just because I'm drunk from all the nice bottles does NOT mean I couldn't hex you. A lot.
Love NOT LOVE CAUSE YOU'RE MEAN, Lily Evans.
P.S. You should really think about the shagging with hands. Really, it's very nice.
P.P.S. I was a member of the ORDER. I'm a fucking WALL.
*warded PROPERLY*estebanmdJune 16 2006, 10:20:25 UTC
...
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. She was a right wreck. It was his fault, of course. This had to be stopped.
Miss Williams:
We will discuss this at a later time.
- S.
Miss Evans:
With all due respect, this is none of your concern. From the sign-up sheet for Ancient Runes I gather you have difficulties of your own and I suggest you turn your attention toward resolving those, while I for my part will attend to mine.
... The sound of headdesking is probably audible from outside his office.
Finally he writes ... something.
Write me again when you sober up.
- S.
And gives it to the house-elf to give to the waiting raven, and after it's gone, wonders what on earth she's on about hands for. His hands happen to be scarred from a particularly nasty interrogation in Minorca. They're missing three fingernails from that occasion. Maybe she's remembering the other-self's hands? Oh God. What if drinking brings the memories out even more for her? What is she telling whoever is helping her write this thing?
... *headdesk*
Reply
Awww, mad? Lo... miss you?
Shagging is more fun when you're drunk. But lectures are good too. You're sexy when you lecture.
M'not so drunk I don't know things, Stephen, so many things. Blue bottles are things, lovely things!
I would like a demonstration from your hot sexy prffsor hands about wand positions. In person, so we can get HANDS-ON US ME experience.
KISSES!
Reply
A bit more headdesking later, Stephen writes back:
I take it from the handwriting that you have shown yourself incapable of discretion. I go to great lengths to protect you and now you compromise everything, for what?
This is a grave disappointment indeed.
-S.
Reply
Only told Lily, she loves me, Stephen, and won't tell, said I'm no whore. Needed Lily. Sorry, Stephen, please don't hate me. Can't see the scratches, too blurry, the important is in the scratches, always is...
[way more tears all over the place]
Reply
I hope Mrs Potter is a talented Occlumens in that case. Of course you are not a whore, good God, anyone would know you did not choose this and I certainly know it well enough.
Promise me you will never breathe a word of this to anyone again.
-S.
Reply
[more tears]
SHE IS! A BRILLIANT ONE!
Am too whore, wasn't before when d'int chose, am now that the possessive bitch inside is sleeeeeeeeping and I CHOOSE, don't care if I am. loveyou somuch
I PROMISE!!! It's the bottles, Steeephen, no more blue bottles, EVER. Or any other color!
Still hate me? I'm soooo soooory.
Professor Stephen Hot Handed Man Proffesor,
I am, in fact, a verry good at Occlumens. And I would appreciate it muchly if you were nicer to my mate, Sarah. She's pretty and smart and why the bloody hell do you men always have to be so mean! You should be more like women. Only with your man bits. And just because I'm drunk from all the nice bottles does NOT mean I couldn't hex you. A lot.
Love NOT LOVE CAUSE YOU'RE MEAN, Lily Evans.
P.S. You should really think about the shagging with hands. Really, it's very nice.
P.P.S. I was a member of the ORDER. I'm a fucking WALL.
Reply
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. She was a right wreck. It was his fault, of course. This had to be stopped.
Miss Williams:
We will discuss this at a later time.
- S.
Miss Evans:
With all due respect, this is none of your concern. From the sign-up sheet for Ancient Runes I gather you have difficulties of your own and I suggest you turn your attention toward resolving those, while I for my part will attend to mine.
- S. Maturin.
Reply
Yes sir.
- Sarah Miss Williams
Professor - Point well taken. See that you do. - Miss Evans
Reply
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