WART Eighteen.
Ryuuji: Hello, Hogwarts! This is Ryuuji, Slytherin Prefect-
Mai: And Mai, Ravenclaw lurker-
Ryuuji: Lurker?! That sounds so unpleasant. You've got to have a better title than that.
Mai: What's in a name? That we call a rose would-
Ryuuji: By any other name not fit in the system of labelling?
Mai: Ryuuji, dear?
Ryuuji: Yes?
Mai: Shut up.
Ryuuji: ...*laughs*
Mai: *laughs as well* Anyway, as my nitpicking partner-
Ryuuji: I don't nitpick, I just like things to be accurate!
Mai: As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, *mock scoff*, by my nitpicking partner, welcome to WART eighteen! Your hosts today, assuming we can get it together-
Ryuuji: Hey, we make a great team!
Mai: We talk over each other.
Ryuuji: Only because you won't shut up to let me speak.
Mai: Ryuuji, dear?
Ryuuji: ...Let me guess, I should shut up?
Mai: *dryly* Quite.
Ryuuji: ...
Mai: *laughs* First up to the bat, we're opening off with a request from Molly Hayes, 19-2000, Soul child remix by the Gorillaz!
Ryuuji: Molly's one of the Runaways gang, right? With Vic? Which, thanks to a very random and totally not connected-at-all train of thought, reminds me of the Dresden Dolls song, Coin Operated Boy.
Mai: Hon, you trying to tell the world something?
Ryuuji: *deadpan* Yes, Mai. This is my way of saying that I've been secretly in love with Vic all along and my complicated love life is due to me trying not to commit to anyone in hopes of him realizing that my unrequited love deserves to be returned.
Mai: ... Therapy, Ryuuji. It's what you need for Christmas. *laughs*
Ryuuji: But you can't giftwrap it, and everyone knows the best part of gifts is unwrapping them!
Mai: I don't like the idea of you unwrapping a therapist to start with.
Ryuuji: Well, maybe if she was a hot blonde chick with violet eyes and- HEY!
Mai: Sorry about that listeners, I had to hit him with a folder for trying to compare me to a therapist.
Ryuuji: And Vic, if you're listening - I was only joking. Really.
Mai: I think that anyone could have told that.
Ryuuji: Hey, better safe than sorry! And on that note, let's listen to Tears To Shed from the Corpse Bride soundtrack, because she wasn't careful enough.
Mai: ...Ew, necro.
Ryuuji: Achilles was a necrophiliac, you know.
Mai: You are a goldmine of useless information.
Ryuuji: *laughs* I try. But no, seriously, he killed Penthesilia - Amazon Queen - and then raped her corpse on the battlefield.
Mai: Wait, wait, he had sex with a dead woman on a battlefield and nobody took advantage of him being distracted to kill him?
Ryuuji: Well, his ankle was his only weak spot, and who swings at an ankle? That archer must have had seriously bad aim to hit him there.
Mai: Point taken! But as long as we're listening to necro songs, how about Dead Girls by Voltaire?
Ryuuji: I actually like Voltaire a lot. Let's each pick one of his songs at random?
Mai: I call Out of Reach!
Ryuuji: And I've ended up with... Hah, funny. The Chosen.
Mai: Hon, I-
Ryuuji: That's not how schizophrenia works. Don't you hate it when people misuse stuff like that? Anyway, next up, I'm dedicating this song to all of Slytherin House and to anyone that's sick of love - Snakes!
Mai: I think that's enough Voltaire for now. How about we look at the requested songs again? We have an anonymous request that's dedicated for anyone who's willing to listen, Born to Be Me, sung by John Barrowman!
Ryuuji: Which reminds me, I wanted to have a song played for more school spirit. Everyone, listen up to We Are One from Lion King II.
Mai: Oh, I hated that movie. But if we're going to be doing the Disney thing, I know exactly what song would apply. Kiss The Girl from The Little Mermaid.
Ryuuji: *under his breath* Ignore the pronouns and I can think of a few people that need to hear that. Anyway, we have more requests! This one is from one half of the fabulous caretaking duo, Nny of Ravenclaw, who'd like to hear Madman Mora Blues, by Boiled In Lead.
Mai: Love that band name. Absolutely love it.
Ryuuji: I think that Placebo's pretty cool as a band name as well.
Mai: I think you just love Placebo in general. *laughs*
Ryuuji: Brian Molko is hot, you cannot deny it.
Mai: But the music?
Ryuuji: Also rocks. I'm going to play Placebo songs until you're convinced! And I'm starting with Meds.
Mai: 'Sex, drugs and complications'? No wonder you like it.
Ryuuji: Hey, two out of three isn't bad. Now listen to Bruise Pristine, which I'm dedicating to someone who knows who he is.
Mai: What an enigmatic dedication.
Ryuuji: I'm an enigmatic kinda man.
Mai: *laughs* Man? Darling, you're still a teen.
Ryuuji: ...I feel so emasculated. I'm going to pretend to be a princess now while we listen to My Sweet Prince.
Mai: You'd make a lovely princess.
Ryuuji: But I'm not into crossdressing.
Mai: Can't I at least get a little nailpolish on you?
Ryuuji: No way. Never. Nuh-uh.
Mai: But it would look so good on you!
Ryuuji: I have amazing hands anyway. Now hush, doll, and listen to The Bitter End and tell me you don't love Placebo.
Mai: ...You really are going to keep playing their songs until I give in, aren't you?
Ryuuji: I'm stubborn like that.
Mai: And in every other way.
Ryuuji: So, concede?
Mai: Never! Everyone out there in radio land, I'm taking over now. This is a hostile takeover of WART. I repeat, this is a hostile takeover. *sounds of scuffling, muffled laughter, then breathlessly* And to celebrate my victory, I'm playing -NO TICKLING - I'm playing I'm a Bitch, I'm a Lover by Meredith - *starts laughing and music takes over*
Ryuuji: HELP! HELP! SHE'S-
Mai: Everyone, listen to I Know, a warning against bad boys like Ryuuji.
Ryuuji: MMMPPHH!
Mai: *slightly breathless* More requests, while the fight for control of the airwaves continues. Luna wants -give back my shoe! - Filk In The Blanks by Tom Smith.
Mai: And we have an anonymous request for Oz with One Song Glory! Ryuuji, let-
Ryuuji: I want - ack, Mai, no hair pulling! - a turn! And this anonymous request is way appropriate - Fighting with Fire by Sam Phillips.
Mai: ...Hon, that wasn't appropriate at all.
Ryuuji: Well, the title SOUNDED appropriate. Anyway. More appropriate, then, is Walk Away by Flogging Molly because that's an anti-fight song and we shouldn't be fighting over the mike like- *hisses* -OW.
Mai: You are such a wimp. *laughs* Why do I love you again?
Ryuuji: 'cause I'm me. Do you need a better reason?
Mai: Mmm, it's certainly not for your taste in music.
Ryuuji: I still like Placebo.
Mai: And I like Heartbreaker, from Pat Benatar.
Ryuuji: ...Like anyone could ever break your heart.
Mai: You'd break them in half if they tried?
Ryuuji: Halves wouldn't be small enough, darling. *laughs* But you also reminded me that I had some specific songs lined up. To all the orphans out there - Sadly Beautiful.
Mai: ...
Ryuuji: And to anyone that ever wished they were an orphan, Hell Is For Children.
Mai: Love?
Ryuuji: Yeah?
Mai: You're emoing all over the place.
Ryuuji: You call that emo? No way. Emo would be, um, let me find something... I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance!
Mai: You didn't need to do that. *laughs*
Ryuuji: Oh, but I did. *laughs as well* Anyway, just to get all the depressing songs over with in one go, how about we listen to Vivica from Jack Off Jill?
Mai: Or we could play some more of the requests, like The Old Dope Peddlar by Tom Lehrer.
Mai: That request came in from Bernard Black who is... Ryuuji, love, who is he?
Ryuuji: The librarian. He's biased against the French and peanut butter.
Mai: Why peanut butter?
Ryuuji: I don't know. Why not peanut butter?
Mai: I thought you said it was marmalade that's plotting to take over the world?
Ryuuji: Well, yeah, but maybe in his world, it's peanut butter?
Mai: Maybe. Let's listen to Door's request next! She asked for Strange Days from Outgrabe.
Ryuuji: I think we need more Jack Off Jill. Because they're just awesome. How about Nazi Halo?
Mai: I thought you didn't like people saying 'faggot'?
Ryuuji: I think they're doing it in an ironic sense, so that's okay.
Mai: You mean like the British hit called I heart fags by MC Frontalot?
Ryuuji: *laughs* I wish I was gay so I could call you a fag hag.
Mai: *laughs as well* I wish you were gay so that you could be my gay best friend.
Ryuuji: Bisexual best friend doesn't cut it?
Mai: Not quite trendy enough, darling.
Ryuuji: Sigh. I emo in your general direction.
Mai: But the benefits are good.
Ryuuji: ... *laughs* Right. I'll bet they are. Anyway, as long as we're going the Eurorap route, I choose Boom Boom Boom by the Venga Boys for the authentic Eurotrash appeal!
Mai: Shouldn't we have played the Tra La La song instead?
Ryuuji: Think of the children!
Mai: In that context? I'd rather not! *laughs*
Ryuuji: Oh snap!
Mai: *snickers* Ho snap.
Ryuuji: ...*trying not to laugh* No, really, Mai, think of the children. And uh, here's Star No Star from Jack Off Jill for their sake.
Mai: ...You think a song by a band called 'Jack Off... Jill', about how everyone ends up dead, is appropriate for children?
Ryuuji: *pause* Okay. Nevermind. Let's try For The Longest Time by Billy Joel instead.
Mai: *hums lightly* I liked that song.
Ryuuji: It always make me think of you.
Mai: ...Really?
Ryuuji: We're best friends. Nothing's ever going to change that, and nothing ever did. You make me happy, and always have. And even though we're not together any longer, and I know that we don't work as a couple because we're lacking the right chemistry - or rather, because it sounds wrong to ever say we lack anything, we've got a different type of chemistry - but I still don't regret anything. I'm glad we tried to see if it would work, because now we know it doesn't, and we're the kind of friends that aren't just going to cheer each other on at tournaments and then split apart. We're the kind that don't need much upkeep 'cause we're too solid to break. Ever.
Mai: ...Ryuuji?
Ryuuji: ...Yeah?
Mai: I love you like you're my heartbeat.
Ryuuji: *plays the following song without an introduction - Sorrow, by Bad Religion*
Mai: *back to normal* And if we're dedicating songs to each other now, I think that I'm going to play Narcissus Boy by Alanis for you!
Ryuuji: *splutter of protest!* That wasn't fair, I chose a nice song for you!
Mai: *laughs* But darling, I cheat, remember?
Ryuuji: *pouty* Then I'm cheating too and playing Material Girl by Madonna for you!
Mai: Madonna - you're sure you're not gay?
Ryuuji: If I was, I think that you'd know.
Mai: There are gay men out there who have wives and babies.
Ryuuji: And you're the one who wanted me to turn into a girl so that we could lesbian sex, what's your point?
Mai: *laughs* That this is the perfect time for me to play Tough Guys by Tuuli.
Ryuuji: *mock thoughtful* That is a good question, Mai, why do you 'lose it for tough guys'?
Mai: I don't know, love. Why do you 'lose it' for bad boys?
Ryuuji: Heeeey! *startled laughter* I do not!
Mai: If they've got a traumatic past or a leaning to the dark side, you're all 'I must comfort them and show them the world isn't that bad'. Grow up, honey. You don't have to save everyone single-handedly.
Ryuuji: ...You're evil. I'm playing Carmen Queasy by Maxim & Skin just to shut you up.
Mai: Money-making is wonderful. As one of the richest teens around, you can't really deny that.
Ryuuji: *laughs* Yeah, but who wants to be a marketed baby?
Mai: Well, you are. Part of the celebrity deal, remember?
Ryuuji: *pouty* But that's not the same.
Mai: Poor pretty boy who's always on the front of every magazine. Fame is such a cruel burden to bear. *laughs* Cheer up, emo kid! I'm playing Rockstar Boyfriends by Tuuli just for you.
Ryuuji: ...Please tell me that I'm not that bad.
Mai: You were a wonderful boyfriend.
Ryuuji: *sigh of relief*
Mai: Unlike certain people. Honestly, Ryuuji, I love you dearly but you can have the most atrocious taste in boyfriends.
Ryuuji: HEY!
Mai: It's true. Now, everyone else can listen to American Idiot by Green Day while we talk.
Ryuuji: *song end, he keeps talking for a second* -so he said- Oh, we're on air again. Anyone want to hear Meant To Live by Switchfoot? 'cause whether you do or don't, I'm playing it.
Mai: *song ends, she doesn't quite realize it* -being such a people pleaser, it's ridiculous, you don't owe anyone anything and- You know what song makes me think of you and Kaiba? Take Me Or Leave Me. Because really, you two are like the Odd Couple. I'm surprised you manage to share a room without the universe imploding.
Ryuuji: *dryly* Our mutual love of computing and intelligence is what makes us tolerable to each other.
Mai: Anyway, we've been on air quite long enough, Ryuuji. How about we wrap up the show and open the Floo lines before going out for shopping therapy?
Ryuuji: Sounds like a deal to me. I'm picking Treat Me Mean, I Need The Reputation, the Xploding Plastics remix. No words, just fast-paced dance music.
Mai: ...You want me to need to start dying my hair to stop it from being gray, don't you? *exasperated SIGH* To everyone out there crushing on my ever-so-lovely best friend, I advise you to listen very closely to the following song because it's what he should be asking if he wasn't that stubborn. Strong Enough by Sheryl Crowe!
Ryuuji: WAIT! We just got a last minute, anonymous request. Lonely No More, by Rob Thomas.
Mai: Well, that was convenient for you, wasn't it? Anyway, the Floo lines are now open, so call in if you want to discuss love, life, necrophilia, other sexual kinks, nail polish, gender issues, the emphasis on cheese in this school - what about the lactose intolerant people?- or just anything at all.
Ryuuji: We're here, we're bored, and we're going shopping when we're done.
Mai: ...As far as mottos go, I think it lacks something.
Ryuuji: We should make a new one up while we're waiting for callers.
Mai: Oh, and one more note! Tomorrow's DJ will be Oliver Wood so even if you don't Floo us, make you sure you get your songs in to him!
Ryuuji: What do you think of 'bright, beautiful and better than you' as a motto?
Mai: Would it look good on a t-shirt?
Mai: And Mai, Ravenclaw lurker-
Ryuuji: Lurker?! That sounds so unpleasant. You've got to have a better title than that.
Mai: What's in a name? That we call a rose would-
Ryuuji: By any other name not fit in the system of labelling?
Mai: Ryuuji, dear?
Ryuuji: Yes?
Mai: Shut up.
Ryuuji: ...*laughs*
Mai: *laughs as well* Anyway, as my nitpicking partner-
Ryuuji: I don't nitpick, I just like things to be accurate!
Mai: As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, *mock scoff*, by my nitpicking partner, welcome to WART eighteen! Your hosts today, assuming we can get it together-
Ryuuji: Hey, we make a great team!
Mai: We talk over each other.
Ryuuji: Only because you won't shut up to let me speak.
Mai: Ryuuji, dear?
Ryuuji: ...Let me guess, I should shut up?
Mai: *dryly* Quite.
Ryuuji: ...
Mai: *laughs* First up to the bat, we're opening off with a request from Molly Hayes, 19-2000, Soul child remix by the Gorillaz!
Ryuuji: Molly's one of the Runaways gang, right? With Vic? Which, thanks to a very random and totally not connected-at-all train of thought, reminds me of the Dresden Dolls song, Coin Operated Boy.
Mai: Hon, you trying to tell the world something?
Ryuuji: *deadpan* Yes, Mai. This is my way of saying that I've been secretly in love with Vic all along and my complicated love life is due to me trying not to commit to anyone in hopes of him realizing that my unrequited love deserves to be returned.
Mai: ... Therapy, Ryuuji. It's what you need for Christmas. *laughs*
Ryuuji: But you can't giftwrap it, and everyone knows the best part of gifts is unwrapping them!
Mai: I don't like the idea of you unwrapping a therapist to start with.
Ryuuji: Well, maybe if she was a hot blonde chick with violet eyes and- HEY!
Mai: Sorry about that listeners, I had to hit him with a folder for trying to compare me to a therapist.
Ryuuji: And Vic, if you're listening - I was only joking. Really.
Mai: I think that anyone could have told that.
Ryuuji: Hey, better safe than sorry! And on that note, let's listen to Tears To Shed from the Corpse Bride soundtrack, because she wasn't careful enough.
Mai: ...Ew, necro.
Ryuuji: Achilles was a necrophiliac, you know.
Mai: You are a goldmine of useless information.
Ryuuji: *laughs* I try. But no, seriously, he killed Penthesilia - Amazon Queen - and then raped her corpse on the battlefield.
Mai: Wait, wait, he had sex with a dead woman on a battlefield and nobody took advantage of him being distracted to kill him?
Ryuuji: Well, his ankle was his only weak spot, and who swings at an ankle? That archer must have had seriously bad aim to hit him there.
Mai: Point taken! But as long as we're listening to necro songs, how about Dead Girls by Voltaire?
Ryuuji: I actually like Voltaire a lot. Let's each pick one of his songs at random?
Mai: I call Out of Reach!
Ryuuji: And I've ended up with... Hah, funny. The Chosen.
Mai: Hon, I-
Ryuuji: That's not how schizophrenia works. Don't you hate it when people misuse stuff like that? Anyway, next up, I'm dedicating this song to all of Slytherin House and to anyone that's sick of love - Snakes!
Mai: I think that's enough Voltaire for now. How about we look at the requested songs again? We have an anonymous request that's dedicated for anyone who's willing to listen, Born to Be Me, sung by John Barrowman!
Ryuuji: Which reminds me, I wanted to have a song played for more school spirit. Everyone, listen up to We Are One from Lion King II.
Mai: Oh, I hated that movie. But if we're going to be doing the Disney thing, I know exactly what song would apply. Kiss The Girl from The Little Mermaid.
Ryuuji: *under his breath* Ignore the pronouns and I can think of a few people that need to hear that. Anyway, we have more requests! This one is from one half of the fabulous caretaking duo, Nny of Ravenclaw, who'd like to hear Madman Mora Blues, by Boiled In Lead.
Mai: Love that band name. Absolutely love it.
Ryuuji: I think that Placebo's pretty cool as a band name as well.
Mai: I think you just love Placebo in general. *laughs*
Ryuuji: Brian Molko is hot, you cannot deny it.
Mai: But the music?
Ryuuji: Also rocks. I'm going to play Placebo songs until you're convinced! And I'm starting with Meds.
Mai: 'Sex, drugs and complications'? No wonder you like it.
Ryuuji: Hey, two out of three isn't bad. Now listen to Bruise Pristine, which I'm dedicating to someone who knows who he is.
Mai: What an enigmatic dedication.
Ryuuji: I'm an enigmatic kinda man.
Mai: *laughs* Man? Darling, you're still a teen.
Ryuuji: ...I feel so emasculated. I'm going to pretend to be a princess now while we listen to My Sweet Prince.
Mai: You'd make a lovely princess.
Ryuuji: But I'm not into crossdressing.
Mai: Can't I at least get a little nailpolish on you?
Ryuuji: No way. Never. Nuh-uh.
Mai: But it would look so good on you!
Ryuuji: I have amazing hands anyway. Now hush, doll, and listen to The Bitter End and tell me you don't love Placebo.
Mai: ...You really are going to keep playing their songs until I give in, aren't you?
Ryuuji: I'm stubborn like that.
Mai: And in every other way.
Ryuuji: So, concede?
Mai: Never! Everyone out there in radio land, I'm taking over now. This is a hostile takeover of WART. I repeat, this is a hostile takeover. *sounds of scuffling, muffled laughter, then breathlessly* And to celebrate my victory, I'm playing -NO TICKLING - I'm playing I'm a Bitch, I'm a Lover by Meredith - *starts laughing and music takes over*
Ryuuji: HELP! HELP! SHE'S-
Mai: Everyone, listen to I Know, a warning against bad boys like Ryuuji.
Ryuuji: MMMPPHH!
Mai: *slightly breathless* More requests, while the fight for control of the airwaves continues. Luna wants -give back my shoe! - Filk In The Blanks by Tom Smith.
Mai: And we have an anonymous request for Oz with One Song Glory! Ryuuji, let-
Ryuuji: I want - ack, Mai, no hair pulling! - a turn! And this anonymous request is way appropriate - Fighting with Fire by Sam Phillips.
Mai: ...Hon, that wasn't appropriate at all.
Ryuuji: Well, the title SOUNDED appropriate. Anyway. More appropriate, then, is Walk Away by Flogging Molly because that's an anti-fight song and we shouldn't be fighting over the mike like- *hisses* -OW.
Mai: You are such a wimp. *laughs* Why do I love you again?
Ryuuji: 'cause I'm me. Do you need a better reason?
Mai: Mmm, it's certainly not for your taste in music.
Ryuuji: I still like Placebo.
Mai: And I like Heartbreaker, from Pat Benatar.
Ryuuji: ...Like anyone could ever break your heart.
Mai: You'd break them in half if they tried?
Ryuuji: Halves wouldn't be small enough, darling. *laughs* But you also reminded me that I had some specific songs lined up. To all the orphans out there - Sadly Beautiful.
Mai: ...
Ryuuji: And to anyone that ever wished they were an orphan, Hell Is For Children.
Mai: Love?
Ryuuji: Yeah?
Mai: You're emoing all over the place.
Ryuuji: You call that emo? No way. Emo would be, um, let me find something... I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance!
Mai: You didn't need to do that. *laughs*
Ryuuji: Oh, but I did. *laughs as well* Anyway, just to get all the depressing songs over with in one go, how about we listen to Vivica from Jack Off Jill?
Mai: Or we could play some more of the requests, like The Old Dope Peddlar by Tom Lehrer.
Mai: That request came in from Bernard Black who is... Ryuuji, love, who is he?
Ryuuji: The librarian. He's biased against the French and peanut butter.
Mai: Why peanut butter?
Ryuuji: I don't know. Why not peanut butter?
Mai: I thought you said it was marmalade that's plotting to take over the world?
Ryuuji: Well, yeah, but maybe in his world, it's peanut butter?
Mai: Maybe. Let's listen to Door's request next! She asked for Strange Days from Outgrabe.
Ryuuji: I think we need more Jack Off Jill. Because they're just awesome. How about Nazi Halo?
Mai: I thought you didn't like people saying 'faggot'?
Ryuuji: I think they're doing it in an ironic sense, so that's okay.
Mai: You mean like the British hit called I heart fags by MC Frontalot?
Ryuuji: *laughs* I wish I was gay so I could call you a fag hag.
Mai: *laughs as well* I wish you were gay so that you could be my gay best friend.
Ryuuji: Bisexual best friend doesn't cut it?
Mai: Not quite trendy enough, darling.
Ryuuji: Sigh. I emo in your general direction.
Mai: But the benefits are good.
Ryuuji: ... *laughs* Right. I'll bet they are. Anyway, as long as we're going the Eurorap route, I choose Boom Boom Boom by the Venga Boys for the authentic Eurotrash appeal!
Mai: Shouldn't we have played the Tra La La song instead?
Ryuuji: Think of the children!
Mai: In that context? I'd rather not! *laughs*
Ryuuji: Oh snap!
Mai: *snickers* Ho snap.
Ryuuji: ...*trying not to laugh* No, really, Mai, think of the children. And uh, here's Star No Star from Jack Off Jill for their sake.
Mai: ...You think a song by a band called 'Jack Off... Jill', about how everyone ends up dead, is appropriate for children?
Ryuuji: *pause* Okay. Nevermind. Let's try For The Longest Time by Billy Joel instead.
Mai: *hums lightly* I liked that song.
Ryuuji: It always make me think of you.
Mai: ...Really?
Ryuuji: We're best friends. Nothing's ever going to change that, and nothing ever did. You make me happy, and always have. And even though we're not together any longer, and I know that we don't work as a couple because we're lacking the right chemistry - or rather, because it sounds wrong to ever say we lack anything, we've got a different type of chemistry - but I still don't regret anything. I'm glad we tried to see if it would work, because now we know it doesn't, and we're the kind of friends that aren't just going to cheer each other on at tournaments and then split apart. We're the kind that don't need much upkeep 'cause we're too solid to break. Ever.
Mai: ...Ryuuji?
Ryuuji: ...Yeah?
Mai: I love you like you're my heartbeat.
Ryuuji: *plays the following song without an introduction - Sorrow, by Bad Religion*
Mai: *back to normal* And if we're dedicating songs to each other now, I think that I'm going to play Narcissus Boy by Alanis for you!
Ryuuji: *splutter of protest!* That wasn't fair, I chose a nice song for you!
Mai: *laughs* But darling, I cheat, remember?
Ryuuji: *pouty* Then I'm cheating too and playing Material Girl by Madonna for you!
Mai: Madonna - you're sure you're not gay?
Ryuuji: If I was, I think that you'd know.
Mai: There are gay men out there who have wives and babies.
Ryuuji: And you're the one who wanted me to turn into a girl so that we could lesbian sex, what's your point?
Mai: *laughs* That this is the perfect time for me to play Tough Guys by Tuuli.
Ryuuji: *mock thoughtful* That is a good question, Mai, why do you 'lose it for tough guys'?
Mai: I don't know, love. Why do you 'lose it' for bad boys?
Ryuuji: Heeeey! *startled laughter* I do not!
Mai: If they've got a traumatic past or a leaning to the dark side, you're all 'I must comfort them and show them the world isn't that bad'. Grow up, honey. You don't have to save everyone single-handedly.
Ryuuji: ...You're evil. I'm playing Carmen Queasy by Maxim & Skin just to shut you up.
Mai: Money-making is wonderful. As one of the richest teens around, you can't really deny that.
Ryuuji: *laughs* Yeah, but who wants to be a marketed baby?
Mai: Well, you are. Part of the celebrity deal, remember?
Ryuuji: *pouty* But that's not the same.
Mai: Poor pretty boy who's always on the front of every magazine. Fame is such a cruel burden to bear. *laughs* Cheer up, emo kid! I'm playing Rockstar Boyfriends by Tuuli just for you.
Ryuuji: ...Please tell me that I'm not that bad.
Mai: You were a wonderful boyfriend.
Ryuuji: *sigh of relief*
Mai: Unlike certain people. Honestly, Ryuuji, I love you dearly but you can have the most atrocious taste in boyfriends.
Ryuuji: HEY!
Mai: It's true. Now, everyone else can listen to American Idiot by Green Day while we talk.
Ryuuji: *song end, he keeps talking for a second* -so he said- Oh, we're on air again. Anyone want to hear Meant To Live by Switchfoot? 'cause whether you do or don't, I'm playing it.
Mai: *song ends, she doesn't quite realize it* -being such a people pleaser, it's ridiculous, you don't owe anyone anything and- You know what song makes me think of you and Kaiba? Take Me Or Leave Me. Because really, you two are like the Odd Couple. I'm surprised you manage to share a room without the universe imploding.
Ryuuji: *dryly* Our mutual love of computing and intelligence is what makes us tolerable to each other.
Mai: Anyway, we've been on air quite long enough, Ryuuji. How about we wrap up the show and open the Floo lines before going out for shopping therapy?
Ryuuji: Sounds like a deal to me. I'm picking Treat Me Mean, I Need The Reputation, the Xploding Plastics remix. No words, just fast-paced dance music.
Mai: ...You want me to need to start dying my hair to stop it from being gray, don't you? *exasperated SIGH* To everyone out there crushing on my ever-so-lovely best friend, I advise you to listen very closely to the following song because it's what he should be asking if he wasn't that stubborn. Strong Enough by Sheryl Crowe!
Ryuuji: WAIT! We just got a last minute, anonymous request. Lonely No More, by Rob Thomas.
Mai: Well, that was convenient for you, wasn't it? Anyway, the Floo lines are now open, so call in if you want to discuss love, life, necrophilia, other sexual kinks, nail polish, gender issues, the emphasis on cheese in this school - what about the lactose intolerant people?- or just anything at all.
Ryuuji: We're here, we're bored, and we're going shopping when we're done.
Mai: ...As far as mottos go, I think it lacks something.
Ryuuji: We should make a new one up while we're waiting for callers.
Mai: Oh, and one more note! Tomorrow's DJ will be Oliver Wood so even if you don't Floo us, make you sure you get your songs in to him!
Ryuuji: What do you think of 'bright, beautiful and better than you' as a motto?
Mai: Would it look good on a t-shirt?