::More Owls, this time warded for the receipient::
Dear Mr. Gryffindor,
I am writing to request your assistance with a very difficult situation involving my brother, Ronald Weasley. As you know, he and I both used to be in your House before we came back this year and your hat resorted us. You may not be aware of this, but your hat also sorted into, I believe, Qanonreip House, an evil puppet thing that was pretending to be my brother. Fortunately, your hat did something to the puppet that was supposed to make it harmless, and gave it to my boyfriend, Harry Potter, who also used to be in your House, for safekeeping. Unfortunately, whatever spell your hat put on the puppet also caused it to attach itself to my poor brother's arm. As you can probably imagine, neither the puppet nor my brother are very happy about being attached to each other. I've sent an owl to your hat asking it to remove the spell, but it seems the hat believes they should remain together in the interest of "school unity." Do you think you could possibly come to Harry Potter's room in the Slytherin dormitory and have a look at the magic your hat has done, and maybe have a word with your hat? I would really appreciate it, very much.
Sincerely,
~Ginny Weasley
My Lord and Master,
I am enclosing three dozen fowl sandwiches. Please forgive my brother for inadvertently insulting you at his sorting. He can be a stupid prat, but he doesn't mean any harm. He's even managed to get himself into a bit of trouble since he got here. I don't suppose you know any ancient god magic that would remove a puppet from someone's hand? I'd be willing to obtain loads more fowl sandwiches for you, or anything else you wanted, if you could help. And I've been saying my lines every night, I promise! My brother's in Harry Potter's room in the Slytherin dormitory, but I can bring him out to the lake if you'd like to take a look and see if you can help him.
Sincerely,
~Ginny Weasley
Dear Professor Glory,
It was very nice talking to you the other day at the tea and fashion show. You looked really pretty. Since you're a goddess and all, I was wondering if you could maybe help me with a little problem my brother Ron is having. I hope you will accept my little gift as an advance token of my gratitude, if you are able to try to help him. He is in Harry Potter's room in Slytherin dormitory, and I would really appreciate anything you could possibly do. I'm pretty sure I can get you more shoes where I got those.
Sincerely,
~Ginny Weasley