Application for Maxim (Girl Genius)

[nize_hat]

((Maxim has a very thick Eastern European derived accent- I apologize if it gets confusing. Maxim is a 'Jägermonster' - they doesn't really have any special 'powers' persay, but have superhuman strength and resiliency as well as highly enhanced senses of smell (and hearing in Maxim's case). His right arm is mechanical, but, doesn't appear to be '

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[nize_hat]

((Edited for html fail)

Maxim was indeed lacking any sort of bosom- not that this actually prevented him from looking pretty great in a dress. Which fortunately, he was not wearing, nor did he normally wear one, but his mun smells a potential chocolate plot in the future. "No, Hy'z not a Milf, Hy am a Jägermonster," Maxim told Beowulf, between various smashes and bashes, overturning a chair as he lept to avoid a close swing from the Geat. Between Beowulf's powerful attacks, and Maxim's quickness and frequent use of the furniture as launchpads/shields/bludgeoning devices (furniture was not a 'weapon', so it was perfectly fair in hand-to-hand combat in Maxim's opinion), the Sorting Room was quickly descending into utter disarray. "Vot's a Milf? Are dey goot fighters?" The terminology was unfamiliar to the Jäger, who pictured something rather small and furry, but with lots of teeth and sharp, pointy bits. "Dat's a goot hat hyu got dere, by da way," he commented- even with its Gryffindor scarf wrapping, Beowulf's hat was one that a Jäger could approve of.

Although "MILF" was a new term, "swiving your mother" was the sort of statement that made sense to just about anyone, whether or not the word 'swive' was a usual component of their vocabulary. Maxim's mother was also quite dead, to be sure- Maxim himself was at least 200 years old, despite his appearance. And so, this was going a little bit too far, and needed to be taken up a notch. With a furious "RAAARRR!" Maxim launched into yet another attack, bellowing, "Vere is hyur GRANDMUTTER? Dat Hy may swive HER?" Not that Maxim normally went for the GMILFs- it just seemed like the sensible one-up in the situation, by Jäger-logic.

[iam_beowulf]

"THOU'LT SWIVE NO GEATISH LADIES, THOU MONSTER! THEY ARE TOO MIGHTY TO BE ASSAILED BY SUCH A SKINNY WHIPLIMBED BEASTY!" bellowed Beowulf. "MY GRANDMOTHER WOULD MOP THE FLOOR WITH YOU, AND THAT FINE HAT OF YOURS WOULD ADORN HER WALL." The translation charm only insisted on transmitting Beowulf's pronominal archaisms when he was making a special effort at highfalutin' smacktalk. The rest of the time, modern English laxness prevailed. "MY HAT IS THE HAT OF A PREFECT. ARE YOU A PREFECT, TO WEAR A PROUD AND FANCY HAT? YOU MUST BE A MONSTER OF IMPORTANCE, I WEEN."

[nize_hat]

"Dat iz soundink like a challenge!" retorted Maxim, thoroughly enjoying this seemingly chance meeting- Beowulf was admittedly keeping him busy, and again he just managed to dodge a blow that would have been quite impressive, had it connected. The next one did, and Maxim found himself hurled into a wall- which took a bit more damage than the Jäger himself actually did. He managed to roll out of the way of Beowulf's next attack, while readjusting his hat. "I tink I like de sound of hyur grandmutter, und dose Geatish ladies!"

Maxim was not in fact a Jägermonster of any particular rank or importance- but he did fancy himself amongst the better fighters, and as a bit cleverer than the rest, and prided his current hat as evidence. "Hy earned dis hat! I took it from Ol' Man Death himself, de best dere's ever been! Until me, vat mit, Hy gots de hat!" That he actually tricked it out of the weathered old fighter he referred to wasn't a detail he cared to mention- he was pretty sure that not mentioning his occasional ability to use his brains was part of being 'sottle'- a technique which would evidently need to be used for any chance of triumph against the monster-swiving Geat, who was unquestionably one of the strongest humans he'd encountered. But, he'd yet to reach this notion, evidenced by his current attempt to charge Beowulf while wielding a chair.