(now that Frank-the-goat pages aren't constantly coming up) Duck Waffle Party

[ugly_old_hat]

It was an odd sort of event to which the Hat invited the entire school. Having seen the after-show broadcasts Survivor put on, with faux tribal council and everyone looking plumper and cosmeticized, the Sorting Hat had planned to hold a similar post-finale show for Hat Shore. Unfortunately, the Sorting Hat's nemesis had rendered all plans for a

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[i_am_harkonnen]

((Because I never did get a chance for the Baron to observe/comment on Hat Shore, or for Lucius Malfoy to send angry letters to the producers and the Hat. Here seems as good of place as any!))

The Baron Vladimir Harkonnen was both irritated and relieved upon receiving the Sorting Hat's note. As he and Lord Valentine Wolfe had received producer credits for Hat Shore, Vladimir had been attempting to figure out something to do with this- namely, attempting to figure out if there was a Wizarding entertainment outlet that would purchase the rights to broadcast Hat Shore. The problem with this idea was that. . .Hat Shore had been awful. Up until the terrorbear attack, Vladimir was convinced that the thing had been a trainwreck- that the Hat had demanded a 'family friendly' program likely played into this. Starscream, the giant robotic cameraman, had ensured an utter lack of hanky-panky by dousing anything that came close with some sort of robot-fluid. Which was just not very sexy. And as the no-kill spell meant that altercations could only go so far, Vladimir could only rate the program as absolutely terrible. But, up until the point of cancellation, Vladimir had been trying to find something to do with it- after all, most of Muggle TV was terrible. Terrible was no issue in and of itself.

But terrible and canceled mid-season? That was The End. And although he felt somewhat irritated, the relief was dominant- just because one could sell something terrible didn't mean that it would have been easy or worth his efforts, and these days, he was far more interested in planning the upcoming nuptials between himself and his fellow decadent space overlord than in trying to market a terrible program to Wizarding entertainment outlets. He was also rather tired of receiving a slew of angry owl-delivered letters, all from one Lucius Malfoy- it appeared that the Hat had decided to force his son to work the boom mikes, much to the elder Malfoy's dismay. The Hat also received a stream of owls from Lucius during the run of Hat Shore, resembling those sent to the Baron. These, however, started in a much less diplomatic fashion, and, degraded into obvious rage even faster than those sent to the Baron- the Hat chose to ignore them, of course, which was possibly a good thing, given the aspersions cast upon the Hat, which went so far as to accuse it of being made of Muggle-made materials, even if it was stitched together by Wizards.

The terrorbear's attack had been the high point of Hat Shore in the Baron's opinion, the only part that had actually proved worth watching. He'd enthusiastically cheered on the bear, up until the point where Jherek Carnelian went rushing out on his rocket-chariot with . . .a magical unicorn pony? As Jherek had been amusing himself by playing the Baron's decorator on occasion, this had been a nailbiting bit of suspense- Vladimir had been sure that Jherek was doomed to pwnage by terrorbear. But no! To his amazement, Jherek had not only managed to disable the bear, he'd turned it into. . .a duck. Perhaps a strange victory, but, a victory nonetheless. Vladimir cheered his decorator's weird triumph even more enthusiastically than he'd cheered on the bear, and the whole sequence had been, in his opinion, pretty damn entertaining.

But now, it was over, and Vladimir half-watched the Hat's inane idea of a closing ceremony, mainly to see if it properly acknowledged Jherek- and he supposed that it had, at least by the Hat's incomprehensible standards. The honorary "Hatsguard" induction was a semi-appropriate reward, although the cloaks were terrible, and, he wasn't so sure that a piece of talking millinery needed a formal guard. Still, it was close to what he himself would have done, in a similar position. But, he'd definitely have skipped the perplexing prize bags, and would have given his own champions more sensible accolades, like medals and expensive ceremonial weapons.

The last thing that the Baron paid any attention to before switching off the television in favor of enjoying the company of his fiancee and his extraordinary chemical concoctions was Jherek Carnelian looking absolutely perplexed as he examined a bra stuffed with potatoes.