(now that Frank-the-goat pages aren't constantly coming up) Duck Waffle Party
It was an odd sort of event to which the Hat invited the entire school. Having seen the after-show broadcasts Survivor put on, with faux tribal council and everyone looking plumper and cosmeticized, the Sorting Hat had planned to hold a similar post-finale show for Hat Shore. Unfortunately, the Sorting Hat's nemesis had rendered all plans for a finale obsolete, let alone a post-finale.
Leave it to the Sorting Hat to have for nemesis not an individual but an entire species.
The Canadian Weasley Bear's attack had utterly befouled the Hat Shore dome beyond any hope of remodeling. While Hat magic or Jherek Carnelian's creativity could theoretically have restored the physical structures and amenities, nothing would dispel the burnt-spider stench, or make most sane beings capable of spending much time onsite. A visitation by a terrorbear resulted in psychic trauma to the location thus visited, like the miasma of a haunted house or ancient abattoir. What needed to be done was some severe kind of cleansing.
It took a few days for the Hat to emerge from its barricaded chamber, to be absolutely sure no further terrorbear action was forthcoming. Only then did the Sorting Hat emerge and make its next move. Terse messages were sent to Ariane Emory, the Baron Harkonnen, and Valentine Wolfe. The game had changed. Hat Shore ...
... was cancelled.
Cancelled mid-season!
Yet there would be an ending, even without tribal council or torches. The Sorting Hat wished to revel in the Canadian Weasley Bear's defeat. Therefore, one last event would be televised, and all persons would be invited to witness the Hat's closing ceremonies.
The Great Hall was festooned with duck-themed decorations. Waffles in the shape of ducks were the main course for that evening's meal, and the waffles themselves were served with duck in gravy, a duck version of chicken-and-waffles. Rubber duckies sat beside each waterglass.
At the head of the room, where the faculty table would normally have been, the Hat had arranged wax sculptures of all the students who had fought against the Canadian Weasley Bear, each placed in action poses, a Mme. Tussaud tableau - with a wooden decoy duck at the center of the action where in real life the Canadian Weasley Bear had fought.
While students ate their waffles (or made surreptitious requests for other food), the Sorting Hat made some Very Important Announcements.
First of all, the stars of Hat Shore - inmates? prisoners? no, they were stars! - were named Official Hogwarts Celebrities! House-elves brought each a small dish of plaster. Into this plaster, the "celebrity" was to place his or her hand, pseudopod, or paw. It was the Sorting Hat's equivalent of stars on Hollywood Boulevard, but these would be painted like American Thanksgiving turkeys.
The Hat Shore stars were also given "swag bags". ((ooc: Choose a number from one to five. The number you pick determines the content of your bag: 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 without the Netflix subscription.))
The real stars, though, were those heroes over whose waxen effigies the Hat bubbled and enthused for a full ten-minute song in rhyming couplets. At the conclusion of its poem, the Sorting Hat dubbed each and every one of them to be HONORARY HATSGUARD. As the commander of the Hatsguard, poor Jaime Lannister was forced to man a table of "Hatsguard gear" for the honorary Hatsguard to pick up. No weapons were involved since everyone was expected to have his or her own wand already, but there were hideous multicolored cloaks and truly fabulous pimp hats adorned with white plumes.
"We feast in your honor, you bearswatters, you! Have at thee! Avaunt!" burbled the Sorting Hat nonsensically.
Dessert, incongruously, was snow cones.
Leave it to the Sorting Hat to have for nemesis not an individual but an entire species.
The Canadian Weasley Bear's attack had utterly befouled the Hat Shore dome beyond any hope of remodeling. While Hat magic or Jherek Carnelian's creativity could theoretically have restored the physical structures and amenities, nothing would dispel the burnt-spider stench, or make most sane beings capable of spending much time onsite. A visitation by a terrorbear resulted in psychic trauma to the location thus visited, like the miasma of a haunted house or ancient abattoir. What needed to be done was some severe kind of cleansing.
It took a few days for the Hat to emerge from its barricaded chamber, to be absolutely sure no further terrorbear action was forthcoming. Only then did the Sorting Hat emerge and make its next move. Terse messages were sent to Ariane Emory, the Baron Harkonnen, and Valentine Wolfe. The game had changed. Hat Shore ...
... was cancelled.
Cancelled mid-season!
Yet there would be an ending, even without tribal council or torches. The Sorting Hat wished to revel in the Canadian Weasley Bear's defeat. Therefore, one last event would be televised, and all persons would be invited to witness the Hat's closing ceremonies.
The Great Hall was festooned with duck-themed decorations. Waffles in the shape of ducks were the main course for that evening's meal, and the waffles themselves were served with duck in gravy, a duck version of chicken-and-waffles. Rubber duckies sat beside each waterglass.
At the head of the room, where the faculty table would normally have been, the Hat had arranged wax sculptures of all the students who had fought against the Canadian Weasley Bear, each placed in action poses, a Mme. Tussaud tableau - with a wooden decoy duck at the center of the action where in real life the Canadian Weasley Bear had fought.
While students ate their waffles (or made surreptitious requests for other food), the Sorting Hat made some Very Important Announcements.
First of all, the stars of Hat Shore - inmates? prisoners? no, they were stars! - were named Official Hogwarts Celebrities! House-elves brought each a small dish of plaster. Into this plaster, the "celebrity" was to place his or her hand, pseudopod, or paw. It was the Sorting Hat's equivalent of stars on Hollywood Boulevard, but these would be painted like American Thanksgiving turkeys.
The Hat Shore stars were also given "swag bags". ((ooc: Choose a number from one to five. The number you pick determines the content of your bag: 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 without the Netflix subscription.))
The real stars, though, were those heroes over whose waxen effigies the Hat bubbled and enthused for a full ten-minute song in rhyming couplets. At the conclusion of its poem, the Sorting Hat dubbed each and every one of them to be HONORARY HATSGUARD. As the commander of the Hatsguard, poor Jaime Lannister was forced to man a table of "Hatsguard gear" for the honorary Hatsguard to pick up. No weapons were involved since everyone was expected to have his or her own wand already, but there were hideous multicolored cloaks and truly fabulous pimp hats adorned with white plumes.
"We feast in your honor, you bearswatters, you! Have at thee! Avaunt!" burbled the Sorting Hat nonsensically.
Dessert, incongruously, was snow cones.