DETHTOWER has arrived!

[shoggies]

As the first day of the year dawns, crudely-lettered posters appear around the school. These posters contain almost nothing aside from their cryptic lettering.

It is a New Year for humans.
The Stars Are Right!
for
DETHTOWER

FOLLOW THE SIGNS

Enjoy DETHTOWER.

(The bottom of each sign contains an arrow, pointing in a

Comments

[i_am_harkonnen]

Shoggy 21.5, who'd taken up residence under the Baron Vladimir Harkonnen's sofa, was, despite its somewhat anti-social nature, as involved in the DETHTOWER construction as the rest of the Shoggies. It had slunk out on an almost daily basis to haul its share of rocks around, usually returning to scavenge whatever remained of his dinner before slinking back under the sofa, where it evidently enjoyed the 'sooo cool darkness', occasionally emerging to watch something on the television. The Baron had actually attempted to seal the apartments off from its return at one point, but, this attempt had utterly failed, as the Shoggy merely returned via some ductwork. Short of sealing every single hole in the rooms, including the faucets, keeping the thing out was impossible. And so, the Baron had learned to put up with his unasked-for and unwanted 'pet', and with time, Shoggy 21.5 had begun deciding that Vladimir and Valentine were its tenative 'Masters'. It did tend to take orders, aside from 'don't come back', but it was not nearly as sycophantic as many of the Hogwarts Shoggies. In short, Shoggy 21.5 had ended up with an above-average amount of whatever element of Shoggy psychology had lead to their original revolt, namely a somewhat better-than-average ability to mimic actual thought.

This was why, on the morning of the DETHTOWER's completion, Shoggy 21.5 was actually waiting for Vladimir and Valentine to emerge from the bedroom. It had to wait until nearly noon, but as soon as it had the chance, it announced, "Master Baron Vladimir! Master Lord Valentine! You were seeking a good place for your party. I told you there would be a DETHTOWER soon. We have it, I can show it to you. It is the best place for a party! It's sooo cool." This was unusual behavior from Shoggy 21.5, who'd never waited around to greet them in the morning. It had wanted to go immediately, but, Vladimir insisted on a proper breakfast first, during which Shoggy 21.5 kept going on about their construction, which actually sounded. . .fascinating.

And so, after they'd finished with breakfast, and indulged in a few of Valentine's little treats to start the day properly, the Baron and Valentine donned some appropriately lavish winter coats and followed Shoggy 21.5 out to the school grounds, where it lead them to the DETHTOWER.

Which was not at all what the Baron had been anticipating. He'd gathered that the DETHTOWER involved a tower, lasers, and windmills in some combination, but as soon as they passed into the DETHTOWER's little pocket dimension he found that the idea in his head, colorful as it was with Valentine's chemicals floating around, was a pale notion compared to the reality. One of the lasers pounded a spot of repeatedly-blasted ground only a few meters away, as if emphasizing the tower's presence. Which was hardly needed, as the DETHTOWER emphasized itself well enough without the random laser blasts. These seemed to hit some spots more than others, making them avoidable enough as they approached the impossible staircase leading up to. . .the same level they were already on. For a moment, there really weren't words to describe the thing- the DETHTOWER was an overwhelming mass of whirling death and inconceivable angles. "My dear Valentine," the Baron eventually said, "I think. . . I think that I may be impressed."

[degeneratewolfe]

Shoggy 21.5 amused Valentine. He never quite knew when it would be underfoot (in a few memorable cases, literally) and Shoggies as a whole looked like something out of his less tame hallucinations. Therefore, he was right at home with one around.

Likewise, he was at ease with the appearance of the DETHTOWER. The very oddness and unreality of it made it more real to him, the lasers made the perfect staccato counterpoint to the visual artistry that kept his eyes constantly moving, and the possibility of sudden violence was a thrilling adrenaline hum behind it all. This place was opera. "My dear Baron," he said, eyes trying to track everything at once, "I think that I may be home."

[i_am_harkonnen]

The Baron was glad that Shoggy 21.5 amused Valentine- it was perhaps this, more than anything, that caused him to cease trying to get rid of it and to accept it as some sort of family pet. As the Shoggy wasn't actually a nuisance, keeping mostly to itself as it did, and had actually accepted the order not to eat his little black cat, the Baron's his main issue with it had been the fact that he'd never requested its presence.

Real was as good description for the DETHTOWER, as, it was all the more so for its utter impossibility. It was like some sort of stacked and tangible proof of the small and incomplete nature of most reality, a visual proof of things only suggested by advanced mathematical theorems. The whirling blades and bursts of light and color were beautifully engaging, but it was the angles that held him entranced. He'd always known that three-dimensional space was a limited picture, as the Spacing Guild's Navigators ability to bend space proved this, but seeing its solid proof in the flesh was remarkable. "I may never look at our Shoggy in the same way," Vladimir admitted, as he slipped an arm about Valentine's shoulders, while Shoggy 21.5 beckoned them 'up' the stairs to the tower's entrance, where the shapes of many Shoggies could be seen milling about. "I was beginning to doubt that we'd ever find a place truly worthy of our union. But this. . .this may be perfection. And it matches your gorgeous mind so very well."

[degeneratewolfe]

It was easy to coordinate a place with one's outside. Certain people seemed to belong in certain surroundings, and certain locations seemed made for precise times of year, that sort of thing. It was much harder to adequately coordinate something that went as well with one's internal goings-on, particularly for someone as creatively debauched as Valentine. Mostly, he didn't bother.

The DETHTOWER made him reconsider. It added a few entirely new dimensions (several of which were questionable) to his usual perception of the world around him, and quite cheered him. "If they're capable of building a marvel like this, one has to wonder what other little surprises they're capable of." He regarded Shoggy 21.5 thoughtfully for a few moments before returning to his dreamy good humor. "It certainly is incredible, isn't it? Even among the weirdest wonders of the Imperium, I can't say that I saw anything to rival it. The word magnificent might not be out of place." He inspected the stairs with almost professional scrutiny as they approached. "I wonder if there's any way that they could install one of these on the Aurora Islands. It doesn't have to go anywhere, but it would be such a marvelous thing to have."

[i_am_harkonnen]

"Magnificent suits it, I think," the Baron agreed. "I've never seen its rival, either." Harko and Barony, the largest cities on Giedi Prime, were impressive mega-structures which stretched miles in size, with levels nicely stacked by order of class, with the lowest naturally at the bottom of the heap, where they'd possibly live out their lives (probably short and brutal ones) without seeing the light of day. But, Harko and Barony were lacking several dimensions possessed by the DETHTOWER, as well as a profusion of giant, literally bladed windmills.

"What a lovely idea! One of these would be an excellent addition." The Baron was no less fascinated with the staircase than Valentine, and had to smile amusedly as they made their way onto the stairs. Well, hovering a couple inches above them, in Vladimir's case, but, he was still moving along the sort of geometry he'd only beheld in Spice visions, or under the influence of some of Valentine's little treats. Although he was still feeling quite pleasant, as they ascended the Baron reached into his robes to pull out one of his little metal spice containers, taking a deep whiff of its contents as he flipped the lid before offering it to Valentine, his smile widening as everything grew a bit brighter. "Ahhh, lovely indeed. We'll have to see if the Shoggies do any contract work. . .they do seem amenable to suggestions. I suspect they're bargain laborers." As they called everyone 'Master' and appeared to be a slave race, he suspected that 'bargain' was 'free', as long as the Shoggies got fed. "Perhaps they can do a couple of giant, whirling blades sculptures as well."

Shoggy 21.5 reached the top of the stairs ahead of them, where it announced to the other Shoggies that it was conducting a tour for Master Baron-Vladimir and Master Lord-Valentine, before going and collecting pamphlets to give to the pair. "It's all about the DETHTOWER," Shoggy 21.5 said, while a number of other Shoggies clamored around, asking if they'd be able to help, while a couple more extended pseudopods, asking for their 'tour galleons'. "So we never run out of flashlights!" Shoggy 8 explained, arriving with one in a pseudopod. With a bemused smirk, Vladimir gave the Shoggies their requested coins- their architecture was impressive after all. After a moment of debate amongst themselves, Shoggy 21.5, Shoggy 8, and Shoggy 21 (also with a flashlight, and who Shoggy 21.5 had greeted happily, announcing that it could 'remember when I was you') were gathered up by the door, ready to start the tour once their guests were.

[degeneratewolfe]

Golgotha had been an impressive urban sprawl that had taken over the planet's surface, crowned with the pastel towers of the Clans and the gothic threat of the Palace. Many of the other planets and locales that he had visited back home had been impressive in their own variously interesting ways, though none so... vividly.

He fairly skipped on the stairs, reveling in the oddity of their dimensions, and accepted the Baron's offering of spice with not-at-all concealed glee. It added another layer to the proceedings, another bit of richness to this particular work of art, and he would be sullying it by partaking in anything lesser while here. "Blades would be lovely as well as practical," he burbled. "Reflective and lethal. How they would gleam..." He stared thoughtfully down at the Shoggies ahead, noting how they were connected and yet capable of speaking separately, and how their amoeba-like nature both contrasted and was enhanced by the surroundings, humming happily all the while.

"Everlasting flashlights," he said, taking his up, blinking it on and off several times in a pattern, and reaching out to pat a Shoggy pseudopod. "The miracles of paid tours. You should really consider selling those little chemical lights that they hand out at raves, as well. Baron, I believe you're familiar with them? Multicolored gaudy things, I adore them. I can stare for hours..."

[i_am_harkonnen]

"Ah yes, I know just what you mean! Lurid chemical tones would indeed suit this place well. . ." The Baron had watched enough Muggle programming to have seen raves, and a notion suddenly struck him. He tucked away his Spice container for the time, hands fluttering with excitement. "My dear Valentine! You've just inspired a wonderful idea! We should have a rave and call it a class! I couldn't think of a better fusion of Potions with Muggle Studies, and all we'd really have to do is sit back and enjoy the fun."

Shoggies 8, 21, and 21.5 ushered them into the strangely-angled Dethtower entrance chamber, pointing out the sandwiches-and-hats table as usual, laden with its heap of fish and mystery meats. A few Shoggies were at work on the hat side of the table, diligently concocting more hats from aluminum foil. "If we had the chemical lights we could attach them to hats!" one conjectured, which met with a chorus of 'sooo cool' from the others. "Do you know where to get them, Master Potions-Master?" The Shoggy wasn't sure of Valentine's name, but was aware of his position due to the Shoggies who'd attended his salvia class. "And would you like hats?" A pair of curiously-folded foil hats were offered, more like weirdly-shaped tiaras of surprisingly complex make for a foil hat. "They're Y'ha-nthlei-style like from Innsmouth! We're getting pretty good at folding hats." The Baron accepted the curious 'hats', passing one to Valentine. "We started with sooo easy hats, but, we've been doing it for sooo many hours now," the Shoggy explained. Indeed, the hats collected on the table were starting to show a progression from the simplest of triangular hats to bizarre constructions like the one that Vladimir found himself admiring. The Shoggy had managed to work some impressive shapes into the cheap material, and he had to wonder what actual Y'ha-nthlei style metalwork looked like, wherever that was.

Once finished with the sandwiches-and-hats table, Shoggy 21.5 took the lead and squelched along toward one of several tunnels leading off the entrance chamber. "Remember, you waive your life and your sanity in DETHTOWER! We are not liable if you don't follow and get eaten by the grue!" it announced. "Or maybe it's a dhole, we don't know since we haven't seen it." Having fulfilled the obligatory warning, the Shoggies squelched excitedly into the corridor that Shoggy 21.5 had chosen. "Sooo cool, we're going to go see the Trapezohedron! Follow right behind," Shoggy 8 announced, keeping close to the left-hand side of the chosen tunnel with the other Shoggies. It was impossible to tell which direction the tunnel sloped, or possibly twisted, and all sides, walls, ceiling, and floor, were covered with complex carvings, many involving tentacles and a strange, three-lobed eye. These designed flowed into one another, and the entire effect was directionless confusion. "What an effect!" the Baron declared, offering his arm to Valentine as they moved into the tunnel. "Should we see if they can install one of these too? Perhaps as a way to connect up the islands. . ."

[degeneratewolfe]

"Now wouldn't that be a sight," he said, sighing, waving the flashlight in a clunky approximation of glowsticking. "Should it wait until after the wedding, do you think? Perhaps it could be our celebratory first joint class. What better way to celebrate a wedding than with additional entertainment?"

Valentine regarded the Shoggies at the hat table with amusement, and a certain amount of approval. Anything that built this wonderful place, no matter how brainless, earned a certain amount of regard from him. Not respect, exactly--nobody here, save the Baron, had earned that token--but he was willing to consider them some of the not completely useless and more entertaining ones. "I could procure some for you, out of pocket... if you'll do a service for the Baron and I as well. Would this be acceptable? An immediate answer is, of course, not required; simply owl Lord Valentine Wolfe once you have decided one way or the other." To sweeten the deal, he picked up one of the more complex hats, running his fingers delicately along the foil so as not to destroy the bizarre shapes of it.

He admired it for a while longer before settling it on his head at a rakish angle. "How do I look?" He struck a pose. "I'm not quite the clotheshorse that Finlay Campbell was in his--ahem--heyday at court, but I think I pull it off rather well, don't you?" He sauntered after the Shoggies, examining everything with interest. It was all so... beautiful. The confusion was majesty. "That is a splendid idea, if it could be done," he said breathlessly, taking the offered arm and squeezing happily. "A pleasant distraction to us, and likely to fend off unwary unwelcome visitors."

[i_am_harkonnen]

"A celebratory joint class is a splendid idea!" the Baron agreed, eyes following the trail of light left by Valentine's flashlight. "We could commandeer the Great Hall for it, perhaps, unless a more interesting place presents itself. The Great Hall is really quite dull, so unimaginative." A ceiling that copied the. . .sky outside. Why the hell wasn't it made of glass, if that's all it was supposed to do? "It's a shame that using the same venue twice in a row would be in questionable taste. Ah well, I'm sure we'll find somewhere, now is not the time to bother with working details."

The Shoggies were delighted to hear that Valentine knew where to procure glow-sticks, but even more delighted to hear of another possible project. "Sooo cool, we get to build and we get chemical lights for hats? We will send you an owl!" As word of this commission would spread quickly, and many Shoggies would indeed find it interesting, Valentine Wolfe was destined to receive a very interesting delivery late that evening, consisting of a bucket which formerly housed chicken, now containing a couple of dead birds gathered in the Forbidden Forest, in a rather advanced state of decay. One might have been an owl, but, it was hard to tell. A note scrawled in large, clumsy letters on the bucket would say "Hello. We decided. Here are owls. We want to build and get glow-sticks."

The many weird facets of the Shoggies' aluminum-foil craft seemed to brighten when Valentine donned the bizarre tiara, sending a prismatic shower of chemically-inspired sparkles over Valentine's form. "Very well indeed- you look scintillating, my dear Valentine! You pull if off wonderfully- far better than I, certainly." The Baron indulged the Shoggies by carefully putting on his own weird tiara-thing. The creatures seemed to be easily swayed by admiration of their creations, and indeed, the Shoggies appeared thrilled, with Shoggy 8 exclaiming, "You both look sooo cool! And we can make more tunnels! We've made sooo many tunnels."

The tunnel was indeed confusion, beautiful, remarkable confusion- 'tunnel' was something of an understated word, considering the overall effect was something like travelling down the twisting gullet of some impossibly enormous creature, down to strange quiverings and palpitations in the walls and floor. . .or whatever they were. The passage was not at all regular, almost tube-like, and, in charting their path mentally, the Baron was certain that gravity was playing such a way that he and Valentine were walking (and floating) nearly upside-down. As the Shoggies darted around a certain section of the corridor, insisting they follow close, what the Baron had thought were more tentacle-like carvings sprang into alertness and motion- not all the sinuous carvings were of stone, but the whole was worked together in such a way that the transition between tentacle-monster and carving was seamless. The chemicals in the Baron's mind quickly transformed the rest of the scene into one of equal living splendour. Occasionally, the Shoggies would pause to point out one of the many strange statues which had been erected along the huge corridor- although every single one looked different, ranging from almost-human to completely inhuman forms, every one of them was indicated to represent the Shoggies' "Master Nyarly". Eventually, they came to a forking path, where Shoggy 21 announced, "We can go that way right to the Shining Trapezohedron, or we can go that way and go to visit the dhole first. Or maybe it's a grue. Or, maybe it's the crafts room today, we're not sure." The Shoggies looked to Vladimir and Valentine expectantly, and Vladimir turned to Valentine, allowing him to determine their route. Either was sure to be intriguing.