Open RP - Steff messes with some heads

[steff_is_a_girl]

Steff had been reading the compy threads. And she thought that people should not be disappointed. She didn't know who this evil person was that the compy poster was talking about, but, hey, if ever opportunities to fuck with people presented themselves, Steff would be on them

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[arrogantmage]

Lezard had also read the compy thread.

"Greetings, 'Apos'." He bowed exaggeratedly low.

[steff_is_a_girl]

Steff grinned and returned the bow mockingly. "Well hello there," she said. "How am I doing? Am I carrying the look off properly? I would hate to disappoint anyone."

[arrogantmage]

"Surely you could never disappoint. How many atrocities have you committed today? I fear an imminent stabbing, should your appetite for cruelty remain unslaked."

He feigned trepidation in too-close proximity to the beach balls. "Such fearsome orbs."

[steff_is_a_girl]

Steff cackled. "Oh, you don't want to know the number of atrocities I've committed today," she said. "And the day's only beginning. You don't happen to have any more death worms lying around ready to be released, do you?" She looked almost hopeful.

[arrogantmage]

"Perhaps you have one lying around ready to be released."

Did he say that? YES, HE DID.

[steff_is_a_girl]

Steff laughed. She'd walked right into that one.
"I might," she answered, eyeing him up and down a bit warily. "But only if you're not gonna be a fucking cocktease."

[arrogantmage]

That might once have elicited a grimace of distaste. Now he merely adjusted his glasses.

"I have learned a few things. Among them, the detestable nature of female flesh. So cloying, so ..." He wrinkled his nose. "Odorous. Amaranth excepted by nymphly nature, of course."

[steff_is_a_girl]

"Ugh, I know," Steff said. "Amaranth is the exception to a lot of things, but I don't see how most het guys deal with the vag. I mean, most girls don't do a good job of waxing... so you've got all that hair and what if they haven't washed it in like forever?" She shuddered theatrically.

[arrogantmage]

"Besides which, women are boring." Valkyries and nymphs excepted, again, of course.

[steff_is_a_girl]

"And they're shallow and insipid. You can't have a decent conversation with most of them, and they're mostly all squeamish about the good stuff." Steff cracked her knuckles to express her point. "Some of them can be hurt so good, though," she added reflectively.

[arrogantmage]

Lezard frowned. "I have grown weary of them. Their malaise, their petty self-centered concerns, the dullness in their eyes."

His experience with Mio had shaken him badly. Everything he said about women was actually only true of Mio, or at least his perception of Mio, during the time they had spent together, suffering the dream curse she had given him.

"Even hurting them is boring," he continued drearily, recalling his efforts to humiliate and taunt Mio after he had decided to hate her, "and I can no longer enjoy the thought. There is always the possibility of contamination."

[steff_is_a_girl]

"Man, that's rough if you can't even work up the enthusiasm for hurting them," Steff said. She set down her basket and took a step toward him. "Well, I'm totally up for making out if you are," she said gamely, fluttering her eyelashes. Of course, she couldn't sustain anything so girlie without wanting to burst into giggles, because, even though she totally was a girl with a penis, and she did have her submissive moments, she couldn't deal with the flirty shit.

[arrogantmage]

Lezard closed the distance between them and took one of Steff's hands between both of his. He regarded her with such smoldering intensity it was a wonder his gaze did not catch anything afire, focused through the lenses of his spectacles.

"You are the perfect object of desire." All the girly appearance and none of the gross female plumbing. A dream come true.

[steff_is_a_girl]

"You say the sweetest things," Steff said dryly. She still wasn't sure she believed him, but she reached up to pull his mouth down for a kiss anyway. Because it was Lezard, and she seemed to be stupidly without scruples or common sense where he was concerned.