"You eat ink?" he said incredulously. Dude, eww. "What kinda freakin' medical condition is that? You ain't got parts fallin' off or nothin' do you?" Scout stared at Duncan, as if expecting his nose to fall off.
"Not falling off. Growing. Don't worry, I'm not a leper." Liquid though the sounds in his throat might occasionally be, Duncan's tone now was desert-sere. "I'm a human who's been too long underground, that's all."
"I hear that shit'll mess you up." Said the guy who lived on radioactive isotopes and caffeine. "What's with that? Who eats fungus? That's like, not natural. You don't go around lickin' trees, do ya?"
"That's what you think," said Duncan. Unkindly. He couldn't resist. "Think about everything that lives on your skin already. With all the millions of bacteria, dust mites, etcetera, would you notice a spore or two?"
Before coming to Hogwarts, Scout had been doing well for himself by bashing people's heads in with a baseball bat. From pyromaniacs to gun-wielding Russians, he'd been able to run circles around all of them.
Now he was facing problems that couldn't be solved with assault and battery, and so far he hadn't been reacting well to them. "No way! No way! You're freakin' kidding me. There's none of that junk on me. You better believe I'm clean. I ain't got no ink-drinkin' mushroom spore crap, or anythin' else on me. You're a freakin' moron."
"You wouldn't be the first to say that, though perhaps the first in quite those words. On the whole I think I prefer hearing it from pretty redheads." As he warmed to the surface world, Duncan found his interest in pointless talk waning. And to think, he'd been so starved for basic human interaction? I forgot how basic the basic human interaction can be.
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Because tree-licking was a very serious threat.
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This was far too much fun for Duncan. Then again, he hadn't spoken to another human in a while.
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Now he was facing problems that couldn't be solved with assault and battery, and so far he hadn't been reacting well to them. "No way! No way! You're freakin' kidding me. There's none of that junk on me. You better believe I'm clean. I ain't got no ink-drinkin' mushroom spore crap, or anythin' else on me. You're a freakin' moron."
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