Potions class
Valentine waited until what he'd judged was the last straggler to make their way in and shut the door. The dungeon classroom was, for the moment, brightly lit and students were paired up in front of cauldrons. There were a number of beanbags shoved off against one wall. "Why, hello," he said, waiting for whatever chatter was in the air to die
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Glancing over to check on Toki's progress or lack thereof, he raised an eyebrow. "Yous even starteds yet?"
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Toki and Skwisgaar's efforts were splendid compared to those of their 'eyesball throw-up childrens'. The Shoggies that had accompanied them were actually trying to do their best, but, Shoggy 10 had eaten half its beetles, and Shoggy 18 had drank most of their armadillo bile. They also weren't sure what half the directions meant, so Shoggy 4.6 presumed "ground beetles" were beetles that had been smashed flat on the ground. Mostly, they were just making a mess.
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Skwisgaar tried switching hands, wondering if maybe potion making was like using a wand, where the dominant hand is supposed to be used (Odin only knew why he remembered such an inconsequential detail -- he barely ever used his wand). This of course produced the exact same ineffective results, since his obsessive guitar playing had turned him ambidextrous and he didn't have a dominant hand anymore ( ... )
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"Freeze bugs. . . " Toki shuddered visibly as he peered at his smushed beetles. "They're nots so bad as the freeze bugs. . ." What exactly 'freeze bugs' were was quite uncertain- Toki at least thought that these things were frozen bugs, although Skwisgaar probably was right in his assessment that they were sometihng worse. The fact that the scarabs weren't as bad as freeze bugs helped Toki get over his disgust somewhat, but he still wasn't getting very far until Skwisgaar told him to pound on his. So, he tried this too, looking in the opposite direction of his mortar, and ended up doing a relatively decent job of it. They were ground up enough, at least ( ... )
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"Gettings high is likes, de reallies good feelings and yous don'ts cares about nothing, and maybes you wants to touch... you knows, things, or you gets weirds cravings for crappy food, and everything ams funny," Skwisgaar explained to Shoggy 4.6 as he finished up his potion. It probably wasn't a terribly good wit-sharpening potion, but might just be close enough to produce similar effects. There was only one way to find out.
He measured out the specified amount, hoping it was meant to smell that rancid. Eugh. Holding his nose, he downed it as quickly as possible, and made a face at the aftertaste. "Dats is foul," he grumbled, wiping his mouth. He leant over to peer into Toki's cauldron. It looked pretty much identical to his own. "Well, I's nots dead yet. Maybes you should use somes of mine ( ... )
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"I forgots alls about dat. Well, if I's does ends up turnsings into a lady, guess I mights as well haves fun with de new parts..." Which pretty much meant locking himself in his room and furiously wanking until he was either too exhausted to continue or he sprained both wrists. "Multiples orgasm woulds be pretty awesome," he decided. It was good he'd finished preparing the salvia before then, as he was now a bit distracted by his thoughts ( ... )
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Toki found that the prospect of Skwisgaar as a lady wasn't very compelling- if Skwisgaar suddenly became a woman, everything they'd been doing lately would become a lot more acceptable, and thus, a lot less fun. And it wouldn't quite be Skwisgaar anymore, which was part of why it was all so fun. "Its better that you don't turns into the lady. You'd probablies be the real pretty lady, though." This was just a likely fact, and not really gay to state- Toki was pretty sure that the rest of Dethklok would agree too. Another good reason for Skwisgaar to stay a man. He added in an undertone, with a slight frown "And Nathan and Murderface and thems might wants you to give them blowjobs." He peered over at the table where Nathan was working on the potions with Ofdensen- what the hell Nathan dragging their 'butler' around by his tie for ( ... )
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Skwisgaar scowled and flicked a beetle leg onto Toki that the Shoggies must have missed. "Yous a lady," he immediately grumbled. He'd grown up being mercilessly teased for being 'pretty like a girl', and it continued to be something he was irrationally defensive about, never mind that he didn't actually look like a girl anymore -- hence the irrational part. It was doubtful he'd even want to have sex with guys as a woman -- he'd be all over the exciting new GMILF lesbian action possibilities, assuming he ever got bored with wanking. Despite that, he'd probably manage to be annoyed if Toki lost all interest in him if he accidentally became a woman, since he'd still be an insufferable asshole completely awesome and the world's fastest guitarist, regardless of what was between his legs. "Well, maybes I would," he said irritably in response to Toki mentioning their bandmates wanting blowjobs. "And I woulds bites dem offs. Fucks dem. Dey can sucks deir ( ... )
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Skwisgaars grumbling didn't bother Toki that much, and as he still had the salvia extract in his mouth, he couldn't really vocalize any comebacks. He expected remarks like that from the Swede, but he was somewhat pleased to hear that if he did turn into a lady, at least the rest of Dethklok wouldn't be getting blowjobs. They could get blowjobs somewhere else. Toki just hoped that none of them would be turning into girls or little kids or anything else, as everything at Hogwarts was weird enough already without having to adapt to such bizarre and unexpected conditions ( ... )
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Having missed Toki deciding to huddle on the floor, Skwisgaar was left to wonder how the hell he'd turned invisible like that, as he could still hear him, mumbling about the freeze bugs or something, but couldn't see him at all. He was temporarily distracted from that oddity by the Shoggies' antics, which he found completely hilarious for some reason -- especially when they started babbling in other languages and making that funny piping sound they sometimes did ( ... )
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Toki could still hear Skwisgaar, although the Swede's voice was strangely distorted and seemed almost a physical presence, that manifest itself in variations of the weird geometric fractals spinning behind his eyelids. He looked up slightly and cracked open his eyes just in time to see Shoggy 4.6 attach itself to Skwisgaar's leg, all of its eyes immensely dialated. The Shoggy did sort of look like some sort of disgusting and seriously metal eyeball ice cream. The rest of Skwisgaar suddenly appeared, with Shoggy 4.6 sort of mushed beneath him.
Shoggy 4.6 definitely wasn't dead or anything, and getting a bit squished wasn't much of a problem for a naturally amorphous creature. It squelched out from under Skwisgaar (had he fallen? Was that how he suddenly appeared down on the floor so fast?), and oozed out over the floor, piping "Tekeli-li!" again before squishing back up into a less melty shape as Skwisgaar patted ( ... )
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