Potions class
Valentine waited until what he'd judged was the last straggler to make their way in and shut the door. The dungeon classroom was, for the moment, brightly lit and students were paired up in front of cauldrons. There were a number of beanbags shoved off against one wall. "Why, hello," he said, waiting for whatever chatter was in the air to die
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"Why woulds we goes to de roofs?" When he was high, he pretty much only wanted to do two things -- snog or chill. He supposed the roof might be a good place for either, assuming he wouldn't lose his balance and fall off. He started on the ginger roots next, which proved much easier than the dildos beetles. Without being asked to he also cut up the Shoggies' ginger for them, then peered at the blackboard, trying to make sense of the remaining instructions.
"Wonder whats dis makes if wes screws it up," he said, adding the ingredients to his cauldron in roughly the right quantities and order. He picked up the Shoggies' container of armadillo bile and shook it with a frown. "Who dranks dis shit? It's for de gettings high potions, not for Shoggies to bes drinkings." Since there was a few unoccupied tables set up, he just took one of the unused containers of armadillo bile and gave it to the Shoggies.
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Toki was still a little creeped out by thoughts of freeze bugs, but he didn't have too much trouble with the roots. And he got to use a knife, so it was a lot funner than smashing up beetles, not to mention far less disgusting. "I don't knows what will happens. . . I don't knows why we has to makes the stupid potions just to get the drugs. It's probablies going to kills me when I screws it all up."
Shoggy 18 looked crestfallen (which involved it going rather fluid and spreading out over the floor), admitting, "It was me! I dranks dis shit, Master Skwisgaar. I didn'ts know it wasn't for us to drinks. It was 'yum yum'!" An opinion that only a Shoggy could have.
Toki took the container before another Shoggy could decide to drink it. "Yous can add its when I figures out how to stick it alls together. I don'ts want to have to crush anymore bugs." Following the recipe was a bit easier than the rest of the procedure, and he managed it about as well as Skwisgaar- it was close enough, anyway. He helped the Shoggies with theirs afterward, and although Shoggy 10 was a bit enthusiastic with adding the bile, and it wasn't quite the same color as his and Skwisgaars. "Think its gonna be alrights for Shoggies?" The Shoggies all thought it looked 'yum yum', but Toki looked curiously at Skwisgaar.
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"Gettings high is likes, de reallies good feelings and yous don'ts cares about nothing, and maybes you wants to touch... you knows, things, or you gets weirds cravings for crappy food, and everything ams funny," Skwisgaar explained to Shoggy 4.6 as he finished up his potion. It probably wasn't a terribly good wit-sharpening potion, but might just be close enough to produce similar effects. There was only one way to find out.
He measured out the specified amount, hoping it was meant to smell that rancid. Eugh. Holding his nose, he downed it as quickly as possible, and made a face at the aftertaste. "Dats is foul," he grumbled, wiping his mouth. He leant over to peer into Toki's cauldron. It looked pretty much identical to his own. "Well, I's nots dead yet. Maybes you should use somes of mine..."
To the sad looking, oozing Shoggy he said, "Guess dats okay, if yous likes it. Deres more if yous wants it." Why not? The bile would probably just get tossed out once the class was over anyway. He warily looked into the Shoggies' cauldron, thinking it looked even more disgusting than his. "Deys eats anything, don'ts dey? It probablies won't kills dem or nothing," he decided, once again displaying his amazing parenting skills.
Since Toki was taking care of the Shoggies' potion, he gathered several shot glasses and started preparing the salvia mixture, which was so simple compared to the potion's instructions that he wouldn't mess it up.
Probably.
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Toki watched nervously as Skwisgaar drank his potion- he was going to suggest trying it on the Shoggies first, but was spared this display of exemplary parenting. He was relieved as Skwisgaar didn't keel over dead, and nodded his agreement. "That's probablies best, I'll try yours since you're not deads or turned into a lady or anythings. Bet it was about the worst tastes ever. . . don't knows if we reallies should be drinking this at all." Smashed up bugs and bile didn't seem like the best cocktail, but, apparently they had to drink it if they were going to get on to the more interesting-sounding phase of the class. Toki copied Skwisgaar's nose-holding, and swallowed his amount as fast as he could, forcing himself not to wretch at the awful taste. "That's some nasty shits, don't want any more of thats." He really couldn't tell if his wits felt sharpened or not, but neither was he really applying them.
Shoggy 18 looked revitalized, clumping back up into its more usual shape. "Thanks you, Master Skwisgaar! It's soooo good." It finished off the remainder of the bile at their table, and started looking around for more, but soon noticed that Toki was measuring out potions for the Shoggies and squelched over to receive its share. The Shoggies were all convinced that it was 'soooo 'yum yum'', and none of them exploded or anything. Seeing as how Shoggies didn't even have wits, there wasn't much to sharpen.
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"I forgots alls about dat. Well, if I's does ends up turnsings into a lady, guess I mights as well haves fun with de new parts..." Which pretty much meant locking himself in his room and furiously wanking until he was either too exhausted to continue or he sprained both wrists. "Multiples orgasm woulds be pretty awesome," he decided. It was good he'd finished preparing the salvia before then, as he was now a bit distracted by his thoughts.
As the Shoggies finished their potion, he gave them each a shot glass of the salvia mixture. "Dos yous guys have tongues? Supposed to holds de stuff unders it. Probablies don'ts matter much if you don't." He didn't really see the point, if you'd be swallowing the stuff anyway. Maybe it got you high faster? He slid one of the remaining glasses to Toki, leaving the last for himself.
"Anybodies died yet?" he wondered, taking a final look around the classroom. There was already someone screaming -- was that A? -- and others who didn't seem affected at all. He looked back to Toki and raised an eyebrow. "Can'ts be worse than de Yopo, eh? Dat was greats stuff. Thinks I had wings or somethings." And Toki was the most disturbing bunny-thing ever.
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Toki found that the prospect of Skwisgaar as a lady wasn't very compelling- if Skwisgaar suddenly became a woman, everything they'd been doing lately would become a lot more acceptable, and thus, a lot less fun. And it wouldn't quite be Skwisgaar anymore, which was part of why it was all so fun. "Its better that you don't turns into the lady. You'd probablies be the real pretty lady, though." This was just a likely fact, and not really gay to state- Toki was pretty sure that the rest of Dethklok would agree too. Another good reason for Skwisgaar to stay a man. He added in an undertone, with a slight frown "And Nathan and Murderface and thems might wants you to give them blowjobs." He peered over at the table where Nathan was working on the potions with Ofdensen- what the hell Nathan dragging their 'butler' around by his tie for?
He watched a bit worriedly at Skwisgaar prepared the salvia glasses- people were starting to act awfully weird. "We gots to keep it in our mouths for that long?" It seemed like a rather long time to sit around with weird plant-liquid in your mouth, but, at least it wasn't bug-liquid. He quietly mumbled to Skiwsgaar, "I can think of things I'd rather haves in my mouth for fifteen minutes."
Shoggy 10 overheard the remark, adding, "Like hamsburgers!" Toki didn't argue with its misinterpretation, watching as the Shoggies drank their share of the salvia. All of whom promptly confessed to swallowing it, and asked if they could have more.
"Shoulds see what it does first, Shoggies. Might make you feel all funnies." He squinted suspiciously at his glasses contents, considering someone was screaming. But, most of the class wasn't, so it was probably alright, and Skwisgaar's reminder about the Yopo was encouraging. "Oh yeah, I remembers that, it was greats. . . something about. . . bunnies." Skwisgaar had dared the bug-juice potion first, so, he figured it was his turn, and emptied out the liquid into his mouth.
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Skwisgaar scowled and flicked a beetle leg onto Toki that the Shoggies must have missed. "Yous a lady," he immediately grumbled. He'd grown up being mercilessly teased for being 'pretty like a girl', and it continued to be something he was irrationally defensive about, never mind that he didn't actually look like a girl anymore -- hence the irrational part. It was doubtful he'd even want to have sex with guys as a woman -- he'd be all over the exciting new GMILF lesbian action possibilities, assuming he ever got bored with wanking. Despite that, he'd probably manage to be annoyed if Toki lost all interest in him if he accidentally became a woman, since he'd still be an insufferable asshole completely awesome and the world's fastest guitarist, regardless of what was between his legs. "Well, maybes I would," he said irritably in response to Toki mentioning their bandmates wanting blowjobs. "And I woulds bites dem offs. Fucks dem. Dey can sucks deir own dicks." Literally, in Pickles' case.
His irritation began to diminish at Toki's implication, and he hoped this salvia shit was really worth all the time and effort they'd expended. If it was going to be weak, he'd have far rather been getting a blowjob instead. Mediocre drugs just didn't really even compare to an orgasm, for him, and besides that, circumstances seemed to get in the way of Toki giving him a blowjob way too often unless Skwisgaar ends up getting one in any of the other threads and/or offscreen before this point. It'd be nice to get one.
"Yous guys can haves all de hamsburgers yous wants when you gets high," he told Shoggy 10. He didn't wait the 15 minutes to see if Toki was going to spontaneously combust or become a woman or whatever else might go wrong, but just followed suit right after him. It was slow going at first, but eventually he was lackadaisically leaning against their table with a blissful expression, watching all the pretty colours drifting by. Not bad so far. Not bad at all. He glanced toward Toki and the Shoggies, wondering how it was affecting them by that point, or if it was at all.
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Skwisgaars grumbling didn't bother Toki that much, and as he still had the salvia extract in his mouth, he couldn't really vocalize any comebacks. He expected remarks like that from the Swede, but he was somewhat pleased to hear that if he did turn into a lady, at least the rest of Dethklok wouldn't be getting blowjobs. They could get blowjobs somewhere else. Toki just hoped that none of them would be turning into girls or little kids or anything else, as everything at Hogwarts was weird enough already without having to adapt to such bizarre and unexpected conditions.
He waited impatiently for the salvia to do something- the classroom was becoming increasingly unpleasant, crowded, and weirdly fractalized, so he hoped it would hurry the hell up so they could get out of there, and maybe go back to the room they shared to mess around. It was getting irritatingly loud as well, and sound was starting to condense into a jumbled blur, which he could almost see as an alteration of the strange geometric patterns that marched like ants on the inside of his eyeballs. Perhaps the salvia was doing something- but despite the interesting patterns, whatever was happening wasn't really pleasant. His flesh felt like it was crawling, as if it was made up of countless millions of little worm-like strands, or as if a whole army of freeze bugs were crawling over his skin. He hadn't even noticed when he accidentally swallowed the extract, nor did he notice when he sat down on the floor, arms wrapped about himself and his head down, eyes clenched shut. "Freeze bugs. . . why's there so many freeze bugs. . . they needs to go away now. . ."
This unfortunately meant that he missed the moment when the Shoggies all quivered and condensed in excitement, their multiple eyeballs all dialating simultaneously. Shoggy 10 suddenly shouted, "OH MY GREAT CTHULHOO! IT'S ALL FULLS OF STARS!" and started squelching in circles around the classroom. Shoggy 3 was oozing around in a similar circular pattern, only going the opposite way as it shouted, "THE GATE! THE GATE AND THE KEY! I CAN SEES THEM! Oh hi there, Yogzotot!" It then began babbling at the air in an indecipherable language. Shoggy 18 began rushing around, shouting at random people, "MY DIMENSIONS! WHERES ARE THEY? I NEEDS THEM!" until it collided with Shoggy 3, and began babbling at the same patch of empty space in the same incomprehensible tongue. Shoggy 4.6 started bouncing around, hollering "Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!", until it eventually calmed down slightly and started clinging to Skwisgaar's leg with several pseudopods, muttering disjointedly about fungi from Yuggoth.
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Having missed Toki deciding to huddle on the floor, Skwisgaar was left to wonder how the hell he'd turned invisible like that, as he could still hear him, mumbling about the freeze bugs or something, but couldn't see him at all. He was temporarily distracted from that oddity by the Shoggies' antics, which he found completely hilarious for some reason -- especially when they started babbling in other languages and making that funny piping sound they sometimes did.
"I thinks de childrens likes beings high," he said, chuckling. He just assumed if he could hear Toki's muttering, Toki should be able to hear him, too. He looked down when he felt something attach to his leg. "Heys dere, Shoggy! Whys you all melty? Likes de ice creams dat makes me sick..." Attempting to lean down to pet Shoggy 4.6, he misjudged and ended up hitting his forehead against the table, lost his balance and landed painfully on his ass. More bruises to add to his growing collection.
From there he noticed more people were on the beanbags now -- were Ofdensen and Nathan wrestling with each other over there? Kinky. The Baron was still there as well, and he might have gone over to visit had the Baron not had an entourage already. It was pointless if he'd have to share attention with others, of course. And besides, it looked like he was already over there, anyway... Weird. And why was the Baron flirting with a woman? Poor Jasper. Maybe he could have Ofdensen help Jasper with the inevitable divorce.
Suddenly remembering Shoggy 4.6, he patted over it to make sure he hadn't accidentally killed it or anything. "Yous not squished or nothings, ams you?" he asked, and as he started struggling to his feet, he finally saw what had happened to Toki. "Hey, yous not un-visibles," he said as he fell back onto his ass with a wince, then scooted closer to where Toki was and pulled on one of his arms. "Whats yous doing downs here? Ain'ts no bugs, just de floors all covereds with water. Wonder who spilleds it." His hallucinations were apparently very tame.
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Toki could still hear Skwisgaar, although the Swede's voice was strangely distorted and seemed almost a physical presence, that manifest itself in variations of the weird geometric fractals spinning behind his eyelids. He looked up slightly and cracked open his eyes just in time to see Shoggy 4.6 attach itself to Skwisgaar's leg, all of its eyes immensely dialated. The Shoggy did sort of look like some sort of disgusting and seriously metal eyeball ice cream. The rest of Skwisgaar suddenly appeared, with Shoggy 4.6 sort of mushed beneath him.
Shoggy 4.6 definitely wasn't dead or anything, and getting a bit squished wasn't much of a problem for a naturally amorphous creature. It squelched out from under Skwisgaar (had he fallen? Was that how he suddenly appeared down on the floor so fast?), and oozed out over the floor, piping "Tekeli-li!" again before squishing back up into a less melty shape as Skwisgaar patted it. Shoggy 18 was still looking for its dimensions, and inquiring about them loudly to various people, while Shoggy 3 was still convinced that someone or something called "Yogzotot" who was apparently 'the Gate and the Key' was present. Shoggy 10 had managed to ooze up a wall, and was now clinging to the ceiling while reciting scraps of text from the Necronomicon. All in all, it did seem like they were having a great time, even Shoggy 4.6, who was now smushed up against Skwisgaar affectionately and mumbling disjointed nonsense about the stars being right for Swedish dildos.
Toki actually calmed down a little as he felt Skwisgaar pulling on his arm- it have him a concrete physical anchor to focus on while all the world seemed to be slipping away, and the strange patterns kept dancing in his vision. "I thoughts there was the freeze bugs," he mumbled, looking back at the floor as Skwisgaar mentioned it was covered with water. The suggestion worked on his brain to make him see the water too, and he poked at the floor, convinced that he could see the ripples moving around the place that he touched. "I don't knows. . .maybe the childrens spilleds it?" He finally glanced over at the beanbags, where Nathan and Ofdensen were acting really weird. "Coulds go over there. . .maybe it's not so wets." He shivered slightly, convinced that really cold water was soaking into his clothes. "If we stays here too long, we might gets frozen to the floors. . ." He looked rather horrified at this possibility, but didn't make any indication of moving yet. He wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to navigate without slipping on the floor and splitting his skull open.
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Shoggy 4.6's mumbling about Swedish dildos was luckily lost in the general chaos and chatter going on around them, or Skwisgaar might have smacked it, obviously not aware of the context.
His hallucinations were believably complete, and he was convinced he could feel all the icy water soaking into his clothes as well. And, strangely, dripping on him from above as though it were raining. He squinted up at the ceiling, which eddied and swirled in random patterns as a multicoloured liquid was indeed falling from it.
"Looks up dere, it's rainings stuff likes rainbow Krambjörnarna pukes," he said, gesturing upward. Then he glanced at the floor again as he awkwardly got into a kneeling position, frowning and rubbing his sore ass. "At least it ain'ts piss..." The water-stuff seemed to be rising awfully fast, though. Worried that the Shoggy smushed against him might drown, he untucked the front of his shirt and stuffed Shoggy 4.6 inside, then re-tucked his shirt so it wouldn't slip out. It felt incredibly weird, and kind of ticklish, so he pushed the Shoggy around until it was closer to the neck of his shirt and able to peek out of it.
"Ja, let's goes overs dere. Don'ts looks so wet." Using the table for support, he managed to get back to his feet, only slipping a couple times. He reached down and took Toki by both arms, pulling him up too, and kept hold of him as he headed for the beanbags, which were by then looking a lot like lily pads floating in the water.
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Toki was extremely suggestible at the moment, so looking up, he saw the same weird rainbow shit as Skwisgaar, and his colourful description of it as 'Krambjornarna pukes" which his mun found extremely hilarious after googling 'Krambjornarna'. His mun also doesn't know how to make the umlaut 'o' appear in LJ added an especially unsettling component to it. He wanted to get away from the disturbing rainbow stuff that seemed to sting when it hit, and was definitely collecting on the floor. Toki tried backing against the table away from it, but it didn't do any good.
Shoggy 4.6 had shifted from babbling the list of things it wanted to eat and began reciting passages of Cthonic gibberish it had read while stuck inside a vault for aeons, and it hadn't focused on the food topic long enough to start drooling acid. It didn't struggle at all, and stuck an eyeball and a couple psudopods out of the neck of his shirt, and wrapped the pair of little tentacles around his neck to hold on, babbling about how it felt all slippery followed by another string of unholy syllables.
Toki nodded his agreement to Skwisgaar- it looked like there'd be a lot less water on the beanbags. . .and was Skwisgaar over there already? He was confused for a moment, and didn't move until Skwisgaar pulled him up. Seriously weird. He could have sworn that he was across the room already, but, apparently he wasn't, and maybe it was just funny reflections of the nasty rainbow puke-water. He stumbled along after Skwisgaar towards the bean bags. Shoggy 3 and 18 were circling the room in opposite directions, piping their 'Tekeli-li!' sound randomly, but fell in behind the pair as they noticed them moving. Shoggy 10 was still on the ceiling, and looking like a mass of crazy eyeball-stalactites as it rambled more lines from the Necronomicon.
((Continued over in the other thread.
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