Application for Clementine Kruczynski from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Babybel. That wax coating really is the selling point I go for, as I assume everyone else does too.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Well, usually I wouldn't opt to kill anyone, but I'll make an exception if given the chance. It'd have to be Barney. That shitty song at the end all about love and caring? It's probably a fifty year old man in that suit, singing to these kids and hugging them and stuff. Creepy, plus it's fucking annoying as hell. Almost as bad as Lambchop and the 'Song That Never Ends', speaking of which, who names a childhood lamb Lambchop? When you get older and realize that, it kind of kills all the love you had for that puppet.
3. What time is it where you are?
Where I am is in a room with no clocks. Can someone fix that?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I never really got interested in those stories, but who's in the Order of the Phoenix? Are they sexy? If so, I'd probably get them drunk and flirt a bit without overstepping my boundaries. Although, some people think that I sleep with people to get them to like me, so it's really a confusing answer.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Charles, after my favorite river. Or Barnes & Noble, just to be ironic. "Bring a good book to your local Barnes and Noble and get sloshed!" Sounds like a good plan, right?
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
If they're in love, let them do what they want. I'm not against gay marriage. I live pretty close to New York City, and that's not exactly the most conservative place in the world.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Dump it all, start anew. Just try a different organization method this time. Repeat the process until you find something that works.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
My ex-boyfriend and I did this mind erasing procedure and somehow our brains overcame it. That's not useless.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I really don't know what to offer. I'll help anyone with anything?
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____CK_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____CK_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____CK_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _______CK____.