So, they finally worked out how to use computers in Scotland. Thank effing GAWD. Evan hadn't been able to get his daily ohnotheydidnt fix in forever! Just when things were starting to get good too! Britney Spears seemed to be working herself out, which honestly made Evan relieved because the schadenfreude was starting to leak out and just become saddenfreude[1].
But first, Evan had a plan. A nefarious plan that needed to be put into action. Revenge is a dish best served. As in David Blaine, you're gonna get served.
Stupid D!ckface Lookin 4 Luv
SWM LOOKIN 4 LUV. ENJOYS D!CK MOVES, DEMON MAGIC, DINOSAUR TIMEZ. WANTS: M OR F TO PUNCH ME IN MY UGLY FACE ON SITE CAUSE I’M A CREEPY A-HOLE.
HAVE FAKE GOATEE AND PET CAMERA MAN.
IF YOU SEE ME, PUNCH ME IN FACE.
I WILL LOVE IT.
WILL PAY, BUT WILL GO BACK IN TIME AND PAY YOU WHEN YOU’RE A BABY AND CAN’T LEGALLY USE THE MONEY, BECAUSE I’M A-HOLE WHO IS TOTALLY ILLEGAL.Evan posted this to the school's network and smirked. Just call him Solid Snake
( ... )
Maybe not, K? But the dude I'm being a fairy godfather for does. I know, cause he's an a-hole who uses it to fuck with me and my friend.
BUT!
We are also totally cool and I decided to do a nice thing like posting his kinks on every newsgroup ever for a @};- SURPRISE CHOKE! -;)@ He'd love a surprise choke. I just like surprise coke, honestly, unless I'm pissing it.
But first, Evan had a plan. A nefarious plan that needed to be put into action. Revenge is a dish best served. As in David Blaine, you're gonna get served.
Stupid D!ckface Lookin 4 Luv
SWM LOOKIN 4 LUV. ENJOYS D!CK MOVES, DEMON MAGIC, DINOSAUR TIMEZ. WANTS: M OR F TO PUNCH ME IN MY UGLY FACE ON SITE CAUSE I’M A CREEPY A-HOLE.
HAVE FAKE GOATEE AND PET CAMERA MAN.
IF YOU SEE ME, PUNCH ME IN FACE.
I WILL LOVE IT.
WILL PAY, BUT WILL GO BACK IN TIME AND PAY YOU WHEN YOU’RE A BABY AND CAN’T LEGALLY USE THE MONEY, BECAUSE I’M A-HOLE WHO IS TOTALLY ILLEGAL.Evan posted this to the school's network and smirked. Just call him Solid Snake ( ... )
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2 KINKY 2 TORTURE. ILL HUG U INSTED.
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K BUT WEAR SPIKES FOR EXTRA FUN. ON UR ARMS. BUT NO LEATHER B/C I DUN KILL BAMBI
Because the means did not always justify the ends. Or something. Oh yeah!
HUG MY NECK REALLY HARD K?
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PVC K?
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Safety word = Justin Guarini
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IM W8ING...
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COME FIND ME. U NO IT IZ ME CAUSE I HAVE A FAKE GOATEE AND CAMERA MAN AND AM A-HOLE.
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BUT!
We are also totally cool and I decided to do a nice thing like posting his kinks on every newsgroup ever for a @};- SURPRISE CHOKE! -;)@ He'd love a surprise choke. I just like surprise coke, honestly, unless I'm pissing it.
Coke as in soft drink, not the drugs.
Your body's a temple!
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AND OUR RELATIONSHIP IS TOTES PLATONIC. BECAUSE HE IS A CREEPY D!CKFACE BUTTMUNCH. WOULDN'T WORK OUT.
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In both contexts.
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EFFING IS WHAT I FUCKING SAY I DON'T BUG YOU ABOUT YOUR CONTEXTS AND TYPING LETTERS WITH NUMBERS WHICH MY GENERATION EFFING INVENTED, K!?
NO ONE EFFING KNEW WHO THEY WERE BEFORE 5IVE AND SE7EN
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Ew, a homosexual! Maia resolves not to reply anymore; it might rub off on her!
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Look around! Sulu got married, and Ellen has the hottest wife on the planet.
We WON the game.
...OMGILOSTTHEGAMESHIT :(
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Oh, gross, gross, gross! Maia looks at the message in absolute horror, bites back bile, and types;
Yes, I've heard what your sort do with baseball bats. Pervert.
This from someone who is really too kinky to torture.
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