open to all: STRONG BAD E-MAIL?! Yes! compy lab open for biznass!

Sep 14, 2008 18:27

Strong Bad had finally realized what the visions in Divination class meant.

The ghost that Naomi Misora saw was actually meant for him, Strong Bad! It was not the ghost of rotten Chinese food at all, because that had never really been a ghost, only a terrible stench resembling a ghost! The real ghost of Strong Badia had been the ghost of Strong Bad's old computer.

Upon making this realization, Strong Bad cried like a baby. He went through two boxes of off-brand wizarding kleenex. Eventually the kleenex banded together into a crazy kleenex golem and Strong Bad had to stop crying so he could take up arms and destroy it! No, wait, that was all just a crazy dream. What really happened was that he fell asleep sniffling.

And awoke ... with a grand vision.

He needed to start answering e-mails again.

Owls were right out. Who ever heard of Strong Bad OwlMails? Most people at Hogwarts didn't have computers, though. The ones who did would probably just send him stupid questions about Linux or something, and that just wasn't worth the trouble. Strong Bad needed to bring Compys to the masses, so they could send him questions and he could make fun of their punctuation and spelling, just like in the olden days. (Not to be confused with the old-timey days!

Many feverish capers later, an old vacant classroom had become a veritable wonderland of technology, masterminded by ol' Cool Cool Glasses himself. Yes, there were no fewer than six desks, each of them graced with no fewer than one genuine Compy 386! There was also a desk in the corner for ye olde sysop Strong Bad, equipped with his trusty Corpy NT6 or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

The compys shared an internal network. People could use them to communicate with each other on a proprietary and private newsgroup which Strong Bad had kludged together using his superior skills of technology. He was especially proud of the interface! Since he knew most Hogwartsians were not accustomed to such fine and advanced technology, he had made the template for posts resemble sticky notes. People were used to taping or tacking notes onto fliers at Hogwarts, so maybe a computerized version wouldn't stretch their imaginations too far, Strong Bad reasoned. They just had to ... learn how to type. On QWERTY keyboards. A real post-it had been stuck to each Compy's monitor: DO NOT WRITE ON THE SCREEN.

On each desk was taped a piece of dot-matrix printer paper, a printout listing user commands. At the bottom, Strong Bad's new e-mail address was given in bold:

SBEmail@DaWart.edu

along with an encouragement to e-mail him WITH ANY QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE.

The door of the lab had its own special sign:




(( Yes, this is a computer lab the characters can use! Inspired by some group noodling about a Hogwarts Craigslist. As has always been the rule regarding computers at Hogwarts, characters cannot use this to wiki or google one another's canons. Anything that would break the fourth wall is prevented by Hogwarts magic, yo. To lessen the temptation, I've made the computers connect only to one another, not to the World Wide Web, but I know some of y'all have chars who are hackers or awesome wizards or whatever, so if you ~enhance~ the computers, just remember this can't be used for brainbreaky fourth-wallage, k?

Also, all the technology is totally made up and illogical by real world standards. If you have any suggestions to make this totally illogical technology slightly more sensical within such illogical boundaries, OOC-note away!

Postings to the computer network should be tagged with the tag "compy post".))

maia, wishbone, evan ferguson, computer lab, compy post, meg murry, homsar, homestar runner, ryuk, strong bad

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