Application: Benjamin Linus from Lost
He made his way slowly down the icy ladder to the oldest room on the island. As his breath formed clouds in front of his face he walked carefully past stalagmites covered in indecipherable hieroglyphics to The Wheel. After clearing the ice away with his crowbar, he forced The Wheel to turn as hard as he could; this was not a job meant for one person. After several unsuccessful attempts and slipping on the ice, The Wheel finally gave. As the room turned bright around him, he thought about the time he had spent on the island, almost his whole life. Even though Jacob has abandoned him, he felt no remorse, just as he felt no remorse for indirectly killing so many people. His last coherent thought, though, was of his daughter being executed right in front of him. He could have change that, somehow. Made a better decision. It was the only act he truly regretted.
When he came to and blinked his eyes clear, he stood in what seemed to be a large medieval hall, which was still in very good condition. Which, in his mind, could only mean he had somehow been transported much farther through spacetime than he had anticipated. One look at the occupants of the room, however, and he no longer had any idea when, or for that matter where, he was. There were two things he did know, however. One was that no matter where he ended up, he doubted he would be out of Widmore's reach.
And the second? Well, no matter where he ended up, he always, always, had a plan.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
He was not exactly sure why he was being asked questions, and furthermore why there was a quill ready and waiting to write the answers all by itself. If he was to fit in here, though, he guessed it would make sense to answer the questions. Not truthfully of course. If one were to look in his eyes at that moment, they could almost feel him cataloging every detail of the room, the inhabitants, the conversations buzzing around him, in every minute detail. "I suppose I'd have to say a nice brie. It works well as an after dinner course, or a good snack all by itself."
By this time he had already inferred what the small elfin like creatures running about were for. He stopped one of them. "Speaking of which, would mind getting me a bit of brie? I'm famished." It had been a long time since he had been able to enjoy some of his favorite foods. He would take them for as long as they would give them. He also felt this place had a lot more to give than free food. If he was going to finish of Widmore, some time spent here could be very profitable.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Now he was a bit closer to answering the question of when he was. Barney and Carrottop were both cultural icons that he was sure wouldn't last more than, say 25 years at the most. He began to tailor his plans and his words for just such a contingency. "I don't think its my place to kill anyone." It was quite a feat to speak such a huge lie with such a straight face. "After all, who I to judge another? I suppose if you held a gun to my head I would choose Carrottop. At least Barney seems to do something for kids."
3. What time is it where you are?
He was quickly much more on guard than he had been a moment ago. If they were asking this question, they could be aware of the island. As far as he knew no other scientific projects around the world had even come close to the amount of spacetime experimentation as the Dharma Initiative. And if there were people who knew to ask these questions, they could very well be working for Widmore. If that was the case though, the jig would already be up. He would have already been handcuffed and locked in a room somewhere. In any case, this question revealed to him how careful he would have to be.
So, for now, he pretended to be disoriented and ignorant. "What do you mean when? Wouldn't it be the same time here as where I came from? Minus the time difference of course which I couldn't possibly know, as I don't know where this is yet."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Even he couldn't hide the initial shock as he heard this question. What was this place? What was this strange assortment of questions supposed to represent? For a fleeting moment, he thought he may still be on the island, and that this was just some strange test he had been thrown into by it. He couldn't risk acting as if that were the case, however. He could reveal too much information that way. "Well, I'm going to be completely honest with you. I have absolutely no idea who these people are, or why such a question is being posed." His face took on very convincing characteristics of being offended. "And if these questions are tailored for me, I'd like to speak to the one who posed them and give them a piece of my mind."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Again, names that meant nothing to him. Questions that seemed of absolutely no importance. As he filibustered through another one, he tried his hardest to piece some of this together. His observations of the people here so far showed them to be awfully varied. He would have to pick out which ones were gullible, which ones were proud, and which ones were afraid. Without his helpers from back on the island, he would have to form a new group for protection.
Either way, time to make something up. Couldn't be naming a bar after something people could connect to him. He affected a facial expression of sadness. "I suppose I would name it 'Annabelle' after my late wife."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
He smiled, chuckled slightly, and held out his hands. As much as he didn't like it, he had to admit he knew almost nothing about his situation, or who the people in these questions were. "I suppose he should choose whichever one of them he thinks he could be happiest with long term." Personally, though, he was beyond that. Love was just another tool at his disposal to get what he wanted.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
He could answer this question quite accurately, as he had spent a very large portion of his life leading a very difficult group of people. But again, that would be giving away more than he saw fit. He'd answer the question as the underdog, the lowly employee. "Perhaps if higher ups in organizations wouldn't give their underlings so much busy work to do, there wouldn't be so much paperwork to sift through?"
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
He knew he was far from useless. But how to explain this without arousing suspicion. He was still treading the thin line between acceptance and possibly being discovered. "I'm somewhat of a jack of all trades. Show me a situation, and I can usually find the best possible outcome." Isn't that the understatement of the year, regardless of what year it is? he thought to himself
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
In a habitual moment of impatience end petulance, he pulled 10,000 US dollars from his coat pocket and slid it across the table to the hat. He didn't know where he was yet, but American currency seemed to speak for you wherever you went.
Time to sit back and see what could take from this place, and what could be done inconspicuously from the sidelines.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. RA
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. RA
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. RA
One day, marmalade will rule the world. RA