A well dressed young man walked into the room. He did not seem unsettled or confused to find himself in this place. In fact he seamed quite comfortable and aloof. He was dressed in an elaborate silver and blue suit, lace and embroidery in abundance. He could have just stepped out of an eighteenth century romance
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Just to make sure he'd heard this correctly -- maybe he still had some water in his ears from his latest lake swim? -- Beowulf asked:
"YOU DO NOT TAKE JOY IN BATTLE?"
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"NO! Why would I? Battle and fighting is unpleasant you can get hurt and it takes so much energy. Even magical battles are too much unless it's the last option," Howl shook his head, a hand delicately at his nose as if the mere concept of going into battle gave him a headache.
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However, the oddly-attired foppish man might have some words worth hearing when it came to ladies. He was dressed like one, ergo he might know their ways.
"HOW WOULD YOU WOO A LADY?" Or a monster? Or a monster who was also a lady?
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"A good choice, first though you need to talk softer, and in a soothing tone. Flowers do wonders, as do accessories like guitars and fine cloths. You charm them, take them to dinner and talk to them. Though, you must make sure they tell you more about themselves then you do of yourself. Girls love to talk about themselves"
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First off, there was the Giant Squid, whom he'd met in the lake after the Feegles pitched him in.
Then there was Tako the octopus, who had honored his White Day gift of boozey chocolates by writing back with hugs and kisses!
Beowulf therefore felt it prudent to hear out this foppish man's love advice.
He cleared his throat. "I AM NOW ADDRESSING YOU IN A SOFT AND SOOTHING TONE," he said, in his usual tones, more suited for addressing sentries at the coast. "I CAN ALSO SING FINE SONGS. MY MEN KNOW A SONG. IT IS CALLED 'WE ARE BEOWULF'S ARMY.' "
It was probably not well suited for a serenade.
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This was an oxymoron. Friends were for battling beside. Women were for swiving. Most heartily.
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