Application for Matt (Mail Jeevas), Death Note
Well, that was the last time he was going to try reasoning with a bunch of angry Japanese men with guns. Matt felt surprisingly unscathed, considering, and a quick pat-down proved that everything of any importance - pack of smokes, Nintendo DS, wallet, gun - was present and accounted for.
Huh.
Now he had to figure out how the hell he'd got from Tokyo to... somewhere weirdly reminiscent of Wammy's House back in England, but BIGGER, much bigger. And older. A converted castle to the orphanage's converted church, perhaps? It was warm enough to suggest central heating, but he didn't see any signs of electrical plugs... a heritage site? Matt pulled out a cigarette and lit it, glancing about the room. Spotting a sheet of paper and a quill (?!) Matt went to investigate.
What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese? The powdery kind you get with instant macaroni. It doesn't really count, but I've got to be pretty fond of it. It's difficult to eat properly when you're monitoring screens all day, so mac & cheese is a pretty elaborate meal for me.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
That depends on a lot of things. What they were doing, what I was doing... I'd rather sit back and observe for a while and see whether anything like that's really necessary. Nine times outta ten, information you can gain is going to be more valuable than getting someone out of your way.
I prefer digital killing than the real thing, anyway. You don't get XP IRL.
3. What time is it where you are?
According to this watch, it's almost eleven at night - but there's a window over there, and I can see sunlight. I'm going to assume is somehow connected to the fact I'm no longer in Tokyo. Or covered in bullet holes.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
... I don't know any of these people, sorry. And I wouldn't harass anyone. Unless putting secret bugs and cameras into their home and watching them constantly counts as 'harassment'. In which case, I reserve the right to 'harass' the cute blondes and not the boring guys in suits.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Secret Agent Man? No, wait! Microvision. It'd have free wi-fi connections and a shit load of old-school arcade games.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Hmm, a love triangle? In my experience, one character will get killed off by a main boss at some point anyway, so just roll with it and see how it goes. I'd place my bet on whichever one gets kidnapped. They'll give you plot points, a few hints and a motivation for whatever your main objective is, and that's it - mission completed - they'll get the chop. The main character always needs a bit of angst, right?
... wait, are you talking about real people?
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Either do it as soon as you get it or burn it. Don't let it pile up.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I'm pretty competent with computers, and surveillance systems. I'm a good driver. And to dig up ancient history, I completed over two hundred games to 100% and still managed to come 3rd in my entire year. I know that doesn't sound all that impressive, but believe me. That took skills.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Uh... I have a couple of cigarettes I could probably spare. If I was back at home I'd have a bit more to offer, but as it is... I only have what, four games with me? And a couple thousand yen.
Which brings me to the question, where exactly IS this?
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Matt__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Matt__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __Matt__.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __Matt__"
Huh.
Now he had to figure out how the hell he'd got from Tokyo to... somewhere weirdly reminiscent of Wammy's House back in England, but BIGGER, much bigger. And older. A converted castle to the orphanage's converted church, perhaps? It was warm enough to suggest central heating, but he didn't see any signs of electrical plugs... a heritage site? Matt pulled out a cigarette and lit it, glancing about the room. Spotting a sheet of paper and a quill (?!) Matt went to investigate.
What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese? The powdery kind you get with instant macaroni. It doesn't really count, but I've got to be pretty fond of it. It's difficult to eat properly when you're monitoring screens all day, so mac & cheese is a pretty elaborate meal for me.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
That depends on a lot of things. What they were doing, what I was doing... I'd rather sit back and observe for a while and see whether anything like that's really necessary. Nine times outta ten, information you can gain is going to be more valuable than getting someone out of your way.
I prefer digital killing than the real thing, anyway. You don't get XP IRL.
3. What time is it where you are?
According to this watch, it's almost eleven at night - but there's a window over there, and I can see sunlight. I'm going to assume is somehow connected to the fact I'm no longer in Tokyo. Or covered in bullet holes.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
... I don't know any of these people, sorry. And I wouldn't harass anyone. Unless putting secret bugs and cameras into their home and watching them constantly counts as 'harassment'. In which case, I reserve the right to 'harass' the cute blondes and not the boring guys in suits.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Secret Agent Man? No, wait! Microvision. It'd have free wi-fi connections and a shit load of old-school arcade games.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Hmm, a love triangle? In my experience, one character will get killed off by a main boss at some point anyway, so just roll with it and see how it goes. I'd place my bet on whichever one gets kidnapped. They'll give you plot points, a few hints and a motivation for whatever your main objective is, and that's it - mission completed - they'll get the chop. The main character always needs a bit of angst, right?
... wait, are you talking about real people?
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Either do it as soon as you get it or burn it. Don't let it pile up.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I'm pretty competent with computers, and surveillance systems. I'm a good driver. And to dig up ancient history, I completed over two hundred games to 100% and still managed to come 3rd in my entire year. I know that doesn't sound all that impressive, but believe me. That took skills.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Uh... I have a couple of cigarettes I could probably spare. If I was back at home I'd have a bit more to offer, but as it is... I only have what, four games with me? And a couple thousand yen.
Which brings me to the question, where exactly IS this?
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Matt__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Matt__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __Matt__.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __Matt__"