House Call (and Maturin Call. And Zoidberg Call. Etc.)
Doctors of Hogwarts,
A prominent Hufflepuff is suffering!
Mere hours ago, one prominent Hufflepuff, called for the sake of his privacy His Majesty X Iruuy Ayubihs Smith John the King, began experiencing symptoms of what could be imminent blindness, cancer of the eye, pupil shingles, or something similarly terrible of that nature. Tragedy must be avoided, courageous actions must be committed, His Majesty the King must be saved!
A cause for His Majesty's tragic happenstance may already have been discovered. For the sake of His Majesty's privacy I cannot give you a direct image, but the muscles surrounding his eyes undergo regular transformations, from his natural state, which is similar to this, to a temporary one which physically resembles this.
Notice the stress this creates for the brow muscles! The danger is exacerbated by the fact that blindness may be a hereditary condition for the King. Furthermore, his brother and friend wear glasses. Coincidence!?
Aid! Conquer! Redress!
While awaiting your reply, I will do my part by yelling at His Majesty's disappointingly weak eyeballs.
Sincerely,
Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff