Application for Judy Poovey (The Secret History)
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Cheese?," Judy asked in an incredulous whisper, "Like ground up Tylenol and speed? I can't say I've tried it, but I had no idea it came in different types! Is there like a version where they mix it with Motrin or something?"
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Carrottop. I mean, we redheads have to stick together, but Barney's purple and green motif is just out there and you have to be really bold to pull that kind of thing off. Yeah, I have to give him props for that."
3. What time is it where you are?
Judy cocked her head to one side, managing an amazing simulacrum of the look "in thought". "I don't know where I am," she said finally, "So I don't know what time it is."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I dunno- I'd say Sirius Black, because he's got that 'totally unironic rebel' thing going on, like Shay Gavera. He's got the motorcycle and everything- there's just something really attractive about a man with a motorcycle." That attractive something being, to Judy, the fact that she got a lot of her drugs from men who rode motorbikes- at least when she was home in LA for the summer. It's not as if there was any need to deal with anyone besides Cloke Rayburn when she was at Hampden.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"If I could start a bar," Judy started enthusiastically, the bangles on her wrists jingling as she talked, "I would call it 'Margie's' because we would only serve margaritas- like any kind of margarita, even those weird ones with peach schnapps and pureed mangos. And maybe kamikazes. You know, because I like them."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Oh man, mythology? That's totally Richard's thing- well Richard's and his creepy friends' thing," she said, wrinkling her nose at the thought of Camilla. "But I think, like the Greeks would have made them fight in the Olympics over Harry, so whoever is better at pole vaulting should get to marry him."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Judy? Supposed to be smart?
Right. Well, she answered anyway.
"When I was a freshman, I went to soooo many parties that I never got any work done. I had to give this one English professor a whole bottle of Oxycodone to pass me. And yeah, my desk was really messy then. So maybe you need to party less."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Judy seemed offended by this question. "Uh. Well. I can sew. I did like all the costumes for As You Like It one year, no thanks to the freshmen. And I'm an aerobics instructor. Like Jane Fonda. Except I didn't like, help the Koreans out or anything."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Judy lowered her voice. "I have like a whole eight-ball, some demerol, and a dimebag of weed. I've been trying to cut back on the weed though- the munchies are so not good for your figure."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. JP
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. JP.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. JP.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. JP"
"Cheese?," Judy asked in an incredulous whisper, "Like ground up Tylenol and speed? I can't say I've tried it, but I had no idea it came in different types! Is there like a version where they mix it with Motrin or something?"
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Carrottop. I mean, we redheads have to stick together, but Barney's purple and green motif is just out there and you have to be really bold to pull that kind of thing off. Yeah, I have to give him props for that."
3. What time is it where you are?
Judy cocked her head to one side, managing an amazing simulacrum of the look "in thought". "I don't know where I am," she said finally, "So I don't know what time it is."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I dunno- I'd say Sirius Black, because he's got that 'totally unironic rebel' thing going on, like Shay Gavera. He's got the motorcycle and everything- there's just something really attractive about a man with a motorcycle." That attractive something being, to Judy, the fact that she got a lot of her drugs from men who rode motorbikes- at least when she was home in LA for the summer. It's not as if there was any need to deal with anyone besides Cloke Rayburn when she was at Hampden.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"If I could start a bar," Judy started enthusiastically, the bangles on her wrists jingling as she talked, "I would call it 'Margie's' because we would only serve margaritas- like any kind of margarita, even those weird ones with peach schnapps and pureed mangos. And maybe kamikazes. You know, because I like them."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Oh man, mythology? That's totally Richard's thing- well Richard's and his creepy friends' thing," she said, wrinkling her nose at the thought of Camilla. "But I think, like the Greeks would have made them fight in the Olympics over Harry, so whoever is better at pole vaulting should get to marry him."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Judy? Supposed to be smart?
Right. Well, she answered anyway.
"When I was a freshman, I went to soooo many parties that I never got any work done. I had to give this one English professor a whole bottle of Oxycodone to pass me. And yeah, my desk was really messy then. So maybe you need to party less."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Judy seemed offended by this question. "Uh. Well. I can sew. I did like all the costumes for As You Like It one year, no thanks to the freshmen. And I'm an aerobics instructor. Like Jane Fonda. Except I didn't like, help the Koreans out or anything."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Judy lowered her voice. "I have like a whole eight-ball, some demerol, and a dimebag of weed. I've been trying to cut back on the weed though- the munchies are so not good for your figure."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. JP
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. JP.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. JP.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. JP"