Strong Bad owlmail to everyone in the school! Also, fliers posted all over the place

[sbisawesome]

Hogwarts! We can't let the ninjas win!
Are you a PIRATE?





[Strong Bad had repurposed his classic painting of a guy with a big knife by the simple addition of an eyepatch.]

YOU MIGHT BE A PIRATE IF

• you are a fun-loving and gregarious individual. Pirates sing songs and have fun. Ninjas just sit in trees by themselves. That's, like, one step away from hugging a tree. You might as well be Strong Sad if you're gonna go that route.


• you are a surly and badass individual who is looking out for number one. Consistency is the nose goblin of little minds!


• you enjoy cold ones. (note: if you are from foreign lands, you may also enjoy Room Temp-A-Ture Ones.)


• you appreciate stylish fashions. Want to wear the same old boring black sweatsuit day in and day out? Fine, go be a ninja. See if I care. We pirates enjoy an array of exciting garment choices.



• you enjoy the company of tropical birds and/or primates, usually of a sassy variety


• you like video games


• even though you thrive on reckless plunder, your very existence contributes positively to the world's ecosystem! Oh yeah.


• you like booty. If you know what I mean, and I think you do.

ADDENDA, THANKS TO HOGWARTS PIRATE-TYPE PEOPLES:

• you like tropical-flavored jello shots. - from Miles Vorkosigan


• Pirates always manage to get the very best ships. Best not to ask them how. - from Bialar Crais


• Two words, mate. Sea turtles. - from an anonymous and cryptic pirate


• PiRATES ALLWAYS DANCE AN SiNG AN NiNJAS R SAiLENT. THAT iS WHY PiRATES R BETR. ND PiRATES GET TO WARE EARiNS AN DRiNK RUM. - from an anonymous pirate. I will not mock his or her grammar OR punctuation OR spelling, because he or she is a pirate, and is only exercising piratic license!

THIS IS ONLY THE MEREST SAMPLING OF REASONS IT'S GOOD TO BE A PIRATE! Ladies love pirates. Non-ladies love lady pirates. When you're a pirate you don't even need finest Mongolian aftershave lotion to be all up ons.

JOIN THE HOGWARTS CREW TODAY! Or just, you know, get an eyepatch and start saying "Arrr" all the time. Owl Strong Bad for your free eyepatch TODAY!

Also, feel free to contribute your own reasons why it's good to be a pirate, by adding to this flier with reckless abandon and the provided Magic Marker which ought to be stuck to the wall with chewing gum and a string.