Doctor Zoidberg, Futurama

[whoopwhoowhoop]

*Eyes the paper*

"What’s this? A meal for Zoidberg?" *gobbles up the paper*

*Picks up the pen*

"And an after dinner-mint? How fancy!" *Munches on the pen-mint*

Comments

[agentsgent]

"If you're hungry, sir, I'm certain we can acquire a meal for you." A talking lobster. Hm. At least he was dressed?

[whoopwhoowhoop]

*Mouth waters*

"That is so kind of you!"

*Eyes the nice man up and down*

"Hmmm. I could do with a leg and a bit of shoulder, if you're offering."

[agentsgent]

Offering? Is he suggesting... "With all due respect, sir, things living and speaking are not meals, if you catch my meaning."

[whoopwhoowhoop]

*face falls*

"But you seem like such a lovely person! I don't want to kill you. What sort of game are you playing here?"

[agentsgent]

"I am not suggesting you kill anyone, sir. I am suggesting that you eat animals without the capacity for speech." He looked quite ill.

[whoopwhoowhoop]

*looks horrified*

"You want I should pick on animals that can't speak for themselves! How dare you?"

[agentsgent]

Jeeves.... didn't know what to say. "Do you ordinarily eat humans, sir?"

[whoopwhoowhoop]

"Well, no human has ever offered. Personally, I think you look a bit stringy, but I don't want to be a rude houseguest!"

[agentsgent]

"I wasn't offering myself as an entree, sir. I was offering to obtain an entree of your choosing."

[whoopwhoowhoop]

"Ohh! Zoidberg is hip to your groove."

*thinks hard*

"Your shoes look delicious! Do you mind?"

[agentsgent]

"... I'm certain we can find you shoes, sir, of excellent quality." He normally wouldn't do this, but, "I recommend you discuss your selections with a house elf. I'm sure they'll be quite keen to discuss shoes."

And with that, he moved to flee.