Application for Martine Desroubins - Otherland by Tad Williams
((There are spoilers for the books behind the cut.))
Code Delphi. Start here.
A most unusual event has transpired today, the ramifications of which I do not quite understand.
The day was like most others. I was at home, in my little underground fortress, and had been planning to visit the network, perhaps to see how Orlando is faring. I did not know him well, but he is in a unique position, forever living his life as a sim on the Net. In some ways, it would be wonderful, having worlds upon worlds in which to explore. But it must be lonely.
At any rate, I grow ahead of myself. When I entered the Network, something malfunctioned, and I found myself suddenly lost in the darkness which I have known most of my life. I felt again that heightening of my senses that I experienced when I was trapped in the network, but the information did not come in a flood to overwhelm me. Perhaps this is because I wgrew accustomed to a sensory overload. Perhaps it is because these last months, after my ordeal in the network, I have not quite known what to do with myself once I was able to see again, and this feels familliar.
At any rate, I found myself in a large room. I explored it, my hand trailing ahead of me on the rough stone walls, until I encountered a table, and a piece of what felt like parchment. If this is a simulation, it is a good one, because everything feels quite real, from the stone beneath my feet to the parchment I am touching.
A voice boomed out, startling me and I turned in that direction as it addressed me. The questions it asked were most odd, and for a moment I wondered if this was some sort of obscure joke. But there was nothing for it but to answer.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I am particularly fond of roquefort. But I do not understand the point of this question, as I cannot really eat food if I am in a sim world.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I attempted to scan the net for references to these characters, but it seemed my ability to link up with any part of the net, even with my neural implant, had vanished. This felt like more of a loss than my sight, but for the moment I tried to ignore this as I answered the question. "If Barney is referring to the large purple dinosaur children's character, I would have to answer that I would kill him, as he and his like were probably the inspiration behind Uncle Jingle, which I am convinced will rot a child's brain."
3. What time is it where you are?
It was early morning, but I am not certain where I am, so I cannot answer that question.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order
of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus
Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Another pause to look up information that was not forthcoming. "I do not know these people, and I am not much in the company of other people outside of the Net, so I cannot answer this, either."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend,
in the dark.
Since I cannot see, all bartending would have to be done in the dark, and thus naming a bar would be redundant.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or
George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
I believe Harry should choose to marry whomever he is happiest with. I do not know these people, and cannot presume to make a judgment.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated
with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Why are you doing paperwork? Such things are much more efficient when they are electronic, and fewer trees are wasted.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I can find anything on the Net. Or... at least I could. I managed to guide a small group of people through a complex network of simworlds that was breaking down. Although Reenie was probably more of our de facto leader, I had a kind of power over the network that the others did not have.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the
bribe.
Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't
really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly.
The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
If I can fix my neurocanular implant, perhaps I can do some research for you on the Net. Regretably, that is all I have to offer.
I have no idea what happens now, so perhaps I will end this transmission and see what befalls me. I am only hoping I can fix my implant, or unplug somehow, although the sinking feeling in my stomach leads me to believe the worst.
Code Delphi. End here.
"I have read thehogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. MD
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. MD
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. MD
One day, marmalade will rule the world. MD
((Feel free to poke her about her narration, which she's subvocalized, if you are ICly psychically inclined.))
((Edited to aid people in skimming.))
Code Delphi. Start here.
A most unusual event has transpired today, the ramifications of which I do not quite understand.
The day was like most others. I was at home, in my little underground fortress, and had been planning to visit the network, perhaps to see how Orlando is faring. I did not know him well, but he is in a unique position, forever living his life as a sim on the Net. In some ways, it would be wonderful, having worlds upon worlds in which to explore. But it must be lonely.
At any rate, I grow ahead of myself. When I entered the Network, something malfunctioned, and I found myself suddenly lost in the darkness which I have known most of my life. I felt again that heightening of my senses that I experienced when I was trapped in the network, but the information did not come in a flood to overwhelm me. Perhaps this is because I wgrew accustomed to a sensory overload. Perhaps it is because these last months, after my ordeal in the network, I have not quite known what to do with myself once I was able to see again, and this feels familliar.
At any rate, I found myself in a large room. I explored it, my hand trailing ahead of me on the rough stone walls, until I encountered a table, and a piece of what felt like parchment. If this is a simulation, it is a good one, because everything feels quite real, from the stone beneath my feet to the parchment I am touching.
A voice boomed out, startling me and I turned in that direction as it addressed me. The questions it asked were most odd, and for a moment I wondered if this was some sort of obscure joke. But there was nothing for it but to answer.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I am particularly fond of roquefort. But I do not understand the point of this question, as I cannot really eat food if I am in a sim world.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I attempted to scan the net for references to these characters, but it seemed my ability to link up with any part of the net, even with my neural implant, had vanished. This felt like more of a loss than my sight, but for the moment I tried to ignore this as I answered the question. "If Barney is referring to the large purple dinosaur children's character, I would have to answer that I would kill him, as he and his like were probably the inspiration behind Uncle Jingle, which I am convinced will rot a child's brain."
3. What time is it where you are?
It was early morning, but I am not certain where I am, so I cannot answer that question.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order
of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus
Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Another pause to look up information that was not forthcoming. "I do not know these people, and I am not much in the company of other people outside of the Net, so I cannot answer this, either."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend,
in the dark.
Since I cannot see, all bartending would have to be done in the dark, and thus naming a bar would be redundant.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or
George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
I believe Harry should choose to marry whomever he is happiest with. I do not know these people, and cannot presume to make a judgment.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated
with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Why are you doing paperwork? Such things are much more efficient when they are electronic, and fewer trees are wasted.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I can find anything on the Net. Or... at least I could. I managed to guide a small group of people through a complex network of simworlds that was breaking down. Although Reenie was probably more of our de facto leader, I had a kind of power over the network that the others did not have.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the
bribe.
Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't
really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly.
The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
If I can fix my neurocanular implant, perhaps I can do some research for you on the Net. Regretably, that is all I have to offer.
I have no idea what happens now, so perhaps I will end this transmission and see what befalls me. I am only hoping I can fix my implant, or unplug somehow, although the sinking feeling in my stomach leads me to believe the worst.
Code Delphi. End here.
"I have read thehogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. MD
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. MD
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. MD
One day, marmalade will rule the world. MD
((Feel free to poke her about her narration, which she's subvocalized, if you are ICly psychically inclined.))
((Edited to aid people in skimming.))