Toki Wartooth, Metalocalypse
This place isn't nearly as awesome as the Mordhaus, but it's got stone walls and a dungeon somewhere, so it's still good. "So I gots to do the application now, ja? It better be good."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"So like, Jean Pierre the chef bring us these cheese snack all the times and they go greats with beer. I think they're expensive but I don't asks what they are. I don't really cares about cheese too much, as long as it's there when I wants it."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"I don't kills either of them, because they makes me laugh. Comedy is hard, you know. But I tell you who I do kills, it's that fucking Rachel Ray from the Foods Networks. I ask the church of Satans to makes her eyes falls out or something, but she is still on my TVs. I hate her so much."
3. What time is it where you are?
"It was sunsets when I left the Mordhaus, and then I went back to sleep."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I likes that Lily Potter lady. I likes to kiss the ladies, you know, it was the best part of hosting the Pornography Awards. And seeing the tits was nice, too. Also, having sex afters you're dead? That's totally metal, man. This is fun already."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Oh man, I'd name it, like, Dethklok excepts that's already my band's name. So maybe I'd calls it Toki's Totally Metal Bar. And people could only stay if they can drinks at least thirty beers at once. We drinks more but not everyone can be as metal as Dethklok."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"So's I'm from Norway and we gots this totally brutal mythologies up there. There was this one god called Freyr, and he has this huge dick. And his sister Freja rule over sex and battle! How metal is that? I don't knows about the marriage thing, though. Mostly it's like, fighting and fucking in the Norse mythology. And sometimes there's giant wolf."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"I don't do paperworks unless it's working on my contract. The manager does everything else."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I'm the second fastest guitarist in the world, man! Skwisgaar is faster, and we can't play slows anymore. And my band, Dethklok? We're like the most famous band everywhere. All the little pussy bands run aways from us. I also likes building model plane and boat, and I's pretty good at it."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
"Well, you can't have my Gibson Flying V or my stuffed bear. He's a totally metal bear and I can snuggle him if I wants. But I gots a lot of money and I guess I can write you a check. Or I can try to teach guitar, but I play really fast and I can't slow down too good so you might have a hard times following along. Oh, and I gots an endorsement deal with Willard Wonky Candy-Hand Candy so I can gives out lots of candy. I don't eats it much anymore because I got diabetes now."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____TW_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____TW____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____TW_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____TW_____"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"So like, Jean Pierre the chef bring us these cheese snack all the times and they go greats with beer. I think they're expensive but I don't asks what they are. I don't really cares about cheese too much, as long as it's there when I wants it."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"I don't kills either of them, because they makes me laugh. Comedy is hard, you know. But I tell you who I do kills, it's that fucking Rachel Ray from the Foods Networks. I ask the church of Satans to makes her eyes falls out or something, but she is still on my TVs. I hate her so much."
3. What time is it where you are?
"It was sunsets when I left the Mordhaus, and then I went back to sleep."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I likes that Lily Potter lady. I likes to kiss the ladies, you know, it was the best part of hosting the Pornography Awards. And seeing the tits was nice, too. Also, having sex afters you're dead? That's totally metal, man. This is fun already."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Oh man, I'd name it, like, Dethklok excepts that's already my band's name. So maybe I'd calls it Toki's Totally Metal Bar. And people could only stay if they can drinks at least thirty beers at once. We drinks more but not everyone can be as metal as Dethklok."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"So's I'm from Norway and we gots this totally brutal mythologies up there. There was this one god called Freyr, and he has this huge dick. And his sister Freja rule over sex and battle! How metal is that? I don't knows about the marriage thing, though. Mostly it's like, fighting and fucking in the Norse mythology. And sometimes there's giant wolf."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"I don't do paperworks unless it's working on my contract. The manager does everything else."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I'm the second fastest guitarist in the world, man! Skwisgaar is faster, and we can't play slows anymore. And my band, Dethklok? We're like the most famous band everywhere. All the little pussy bands run aways from us. I also likes building model plane and boat, and I's pretty good at it."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
"Well, you can't have my Gibson Flying V or my stuffed bear. He's a totally metal bear and I can snuggle him if I wants. But I gots a lot of money and I guess I can write you a check. Or I can try to teach guitar, but I play really fast and I can't slow down too good so you might have a hard times following along. Oh, and I gots an endorsement deal with Willard Wonky Candy-Hand Candy so I can gives out lots of candy. I don't eats it much anymore because I got diabetes now."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____TW_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____TW____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____TW_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____TW_____"