Dr. Stevenstein Von Haat-Hait (OC squibbait)
A rather bewildered looking man appears in the great hall, clutching a strange device. Before anyone can get a good look at it, he pockets it. "What sort of headware induced trickery is this?!" he roars, looking around. Picking up the blank application, he mumbles something to himself and starts filling it out with a sinister looking pen.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
My favorite cheese? I only partake of the cheese that is made from the milk of my own hat-fed goat, Marmazeldatilda. Ah, what an appetite she has! Once, she ate an entire helmet! Oh, good times...
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Barney. Carrottop and his incredible hair are one of my greatest allies in the fight against those scalp-clinging bastards. One day, you will be vanquished, hats! One day! And I will be there to see it! In fact, I'll do it! And I'll laugh at you, but you won't know it, because you'll be too vanquished to know it!
3. What time is it where you are?
3:30 PM. Right about now, I'd be dipping fedoras in a vat of boiling acid, and squealing with delight just like a giddy school girl! A giddy school girl that hates hats! And also has a bit of a weight problem, despite her best efforts to diet and exercise. I try my hardest, and what do I get? Jowels. A school girl just like that.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
If I was Albus Dumbledore, I'd have more important things to do with such power than 'get it on' with one of my co-workers. Much more important things. But, if I had no choice, Tonks. She's got a nice...eyes.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Burning Tophat.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
WHAT?! This...this is unbelievable! Such impurity could only be the work of a wily bowler hat, controlling the minds of our children! Filth! Smut! Avert your eyes, for this can only be the work of evil!
George and Fred would marry eachother. They have so much in common!
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Ah, this one is simple! You most likely have an infestation of baseball caps trying to increase your stress! And when you finally crack-BAM! They swarm, and nothing but bones is left! You'd best get somebody with the proper qualifications to take care of it for you.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I, sir, am the foremost leader in mad science! I have created over three grillion inventions, including the number grillion! That is how great I am at inventing. I had to create a new number just to count all of my inventions!
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
Once again, I am the foremost leader in mad science! If any are in need of assistance in the destruction of any sort of cranium related apparel, I shall be more than happy to lend a helping hand. And, eh, ladies? I'm single...
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___SVHH_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___SVHH___.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___SVHH____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____SVHH____"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
My favorite cheese? I only partake of the cheese that is made from the milk of my own hat-fed goat, Marmazeldatilda. Ah, what an appetite she has! Once, she ate an entire helmet! Oh, good times...
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Barney. Carrottop and his incredible hair are one of my greatest allies in the fight against those scalp-clinging bastards. One day, you will be vanquished, hats! One day! And I will be there to see it! In fact, I'll do it! And I'll laugh at you, but you won't know it, because you'll be too vanquished to know it!
3. What time is it where you are?
3:30 PM. Right about now, I'd be dipping fedoras in a vat of boiling acid, and squealing with delight just like a giddy school girl! A giddy school girl that hates hats! And also has a bit of a weight problem, despite her best efforts to diet and exercise. I try my hardest, and what do I get? Jowels. A school girl just like that.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
If I was Albus Dumbledore, I'd have more important things to do with such power than 'get it on' with one of my co-workers. Much more important things. But, if I had no choice, Tonks. She's got a nice...eyes.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Burning Tophat.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
WHAT?! This...this is unbelievable! Such impurity could only be the work of a wily bowler hat, controlling the minds of our children! Filth! Smut! Avert your eyes, for this can only be the work of evil!
George and Fred would marry eachother. They have so much in common!
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Ah, this one is simple! You most likely have an infestation of baseball caps trying to increase your stress! And when you finally crack-BAM! They swarm, and nothing but bones is left! You'd best get somebody with the proper qualifications to take care of it for you.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I, sir, am the foremost leader in mad science! I have created over three grillion inventions, including the number grillion! That is how great I am at inventing. I had to create a new number just to count all of my inventions!
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
Once again, I am the foremost leader in mad science! If any are in need of assistance in the destruction of any sort of cranium related apparel, I shall be more than happy to lend a helping hand. And, eh, ladies? I'm single...
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___SVHH_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___SVHH___.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___SVHH____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____SVHH____"