Lizzy is Distressed: Owls

[fine_eyes_lizzy]

The letter is smudged in several places, and very hastily written. The signature is almost illegible from tear-stains.

Mel- 
I beg your forgiveness, (the rest of the line is obscured by an ink spill) 
You were right about Mr. Darcy. Please, may I speak with you? I have never felt so wretched in my life. 
-Lizzy

This letter was written with equal haste

Comments

A duck returns, note heavily warded and charmed to turn to flower petals for anyone else

[lilypotter60]

Elizabeth ~

Think nothing of it, mate. I'm happy to help you however I can, even if it's just a compassionate ear.

I...cannot pretend to understand love - I doubt anyone could boast of that - but I have experienced the barest breath of what it can be. I don't know if I'm able to recognize it again in myself, but if you can bear with my fumblings than I'm more than willing to meet with you and talk over whatever you like.

I'm headed towards the Library now - would you like to meet me there?

~ Lily

Re: A duck returns, note heavily warded and charmed to turn to flower petals for anyone else

[fine_eyes_lizzy]

Lily-

I should like that very much. I thank you.

-Elizabeth

[lilypotter60]

Whenever Elizabeth arrived in the Library, she would find Lily in a tucked-away corner, surrounded by stacks of books. One tome lay open in front of her, a quill in hand, but, uncharacteristically, Lily was not absorbed in her work. Instead, the quill twirling absently through her fingers, Lily was staring off into the distance, a vaguely troubled expression on her face.

Love. Odd topic, indeed.

[fine_eyes_lizzy]

Lizzy had done the best she could to fix her appearance and maintain some semblance of composure, but her eyes were still red from crying, and her hands trembled, despite her best attempts at stopping them.

To give herself more time to calm down, she folded her handkerchief several times, and walked silently around the library. After a few moments, she saw Lily, and made an effort to smile.

"Lily. Thank you very much for coming." Lizzy sat down across from her, with a flicker of her usual smile. "I hope I find you well?"

[lilypotter60]

Lily looked over at the sound of someone approaching and was shocked to see how distressed Lizzy appeared. Without a second thought, Lily moved to kneel beside the other woman's chair, wrapping her arms around Lizzy in a hug.

"Merlin," she breathed, pulling back enough to regard Elizabeth's face with concern. "What's wrong, Elizabeth?"

[fine_eyes_lizzy]

Elizabeth sagged into Lily's embrace, almost thankfully.

"It's... slightly complicated. Forgive me. It isn't at all, and I am simply confusing things." She drew an uneven breath and closed her eyes. "The long and the short of it is that my sister's hopes of happiness are shattered, and when I confronted the man who was the chief instrument in the ruination of my sister's hopes, he insulted my sister, my family, and myself. I avoided him after that but we met again just now- and again the insults. This time he criticized my choice of company, my judgment, and, again, one of his favorite topics- my family. And then, to top it all off, he- he declares- he- oh!"

Elizabeth buried her face in her hands, trying very hard not to start crying again. Very quickly, her voice trembling, she went on. "Forgive me. He admitted that he loved me, as if he was exposing some horrific flaw! Oh, I know I am blowing this out of proportion, but I feel- I do not even know what I feel. I just how I have never been so grossly upset before."

[lilypotter60]

Lily blinked slightly as she tried to follow - the entire idea of someone's hopes being shattered because of some bloke was not something she understood off hand, thought the concept of one's family being insulted caused her expression to darken slightly - and absently ran her hand up and down Lizzy's arm in a soothing manner.

At the end of it, when Lily felt she'd grasped the basic concept of Lizzy's distress, she blew out a breath and shook her head. "Blokes," she muttered. "I'm amazed that most of them haven't simply fallen off the face of the planet from sheer stupidity by now."

She got up and pulled her chair close, so that she could still maintain contact with Lizzy, then conjured up a tea tray and pressed a hot cup of tea into Elizabeth's hands. "Here," she said softly. "Drink this. You'll feel better for it."

Sitting back slightly, she regarded the other woman a moment. "He - he insulted you, and then said he loved you?" she asked slowly, tone incredulous. "Merlin, what a bumbling arse."

[fine_eyes_lizzy]

Elizabeth took a sip of tea and managed a very weak laugh. "Yes. Mr. Darcy's manner leaves something to be desired." She stared into the tea cup a moment, then softly went on, "I did tell you about Mr. Darcy? He is the last person whom I thought would ever express such a sentiment. Apparently, he did not mean to offend and it only stemmed from his inability to control his feelings."

Lizzy shook her head, wrapping her hands around the cup. "I cannot understand such reasoning myself, but I am very sorry to have caused such agony on his part, however unintentionally."

[lilypotter60]

Huh. That was...well, quite frankly, that was not the reaction that Lily, herself, would have had in this situation. If some bloke had insulted her, her family, her mates, and then proceeded to declare some tender emotion for her... She'd probably hex him in some tender spot of his own. She most certainly would not be concerned about his agony - she probably would have been its cause.

Tilting her head to the side slightly, Lily smiled a bit. "I've met Darcy," she said. "He seemed quite the gentleman, though a bit stiff. I - I somehow can't see him purposely insulting you. By accident, yes," Lily grinned. "I've found that men tend to get all manner of tongue-tied around the women they...they love." That last word brought a flash of...jealousy was it?

Here Elizabeth's Mr. Darcy was able to articulate his feelings, regardless of the fact that they weren't involved, that there was a very real possibility for rejection. And Lily... No. Internally shaking that off, Lily very firmly focused herself back on Elizabeth. She was

[fine_eyes_lizzy]

"Not at all!" Lizzy replied, shaking her head. "I find him the most disagreeable man I have ever had the displeasure of meeting, and I cannot see his character in any but the worst of ways, after I hard reports of his past conduct, and I observed his actions myself. He separated my sister from the man she was deeply in love with, one Mr. Bingley. Mr. Bingley was very much in love with my sister as well, yet that mattered little to Mr. Darcy, who considered my sister Jane- who is the sweetest, kindest, and most selfless person I have ever known- nothing more than a heartless fortune hunter."

Her hands trembled again as she took another sip of tea. "I do not think he meant to insult, but he did it, regardless, and has done so ever since we first met. Can you blame for disliking him?"

[lilypotter60]

"Bastard," she muttered, expression dark. "Love is not something that other people should muck about in, playing person against person for pleasure. He...that's..." Lily trailed off in a soft growl before picking up her own tea cup and taking a drink. "And bollocks to this Bingley bloke as well. If you love someone, really are in love, you shouldn't let anyone stand in your way. Or anything. Love is too rare, too precious to do anything but hold on tight. It's strong, yes, but it can be broken so easily. A careless word, a hesitation, the decision to stand idly by instead of acting

[fine_eyes_lizzy]

Lizzy shrank back in her chair, feeling utterly lost. "I could not tell you the answer to any of that. I do know that Mr. Bingley relies on his friend's judgment more than his own, out of some sense of either inferiority or obligation." She looked down into her tea cup. "The rest is shrouded in mystery. I know that I cannot think well of his character, and I know that he said he...." Elizabeth shut her eyes a moment, then slowly repeated, "He said that he loved me ardently and desperately, enough to unravel every scrap of - of sensibility, or self-discipline that he possessed."

She finished her cup of tea and set it down, before drawing her legs to her chest and resting her chin on her knees. "It frightened me when I heard it, at first, and I am bewildered as to how I could inspire such passion or why, since he was able to hide his feelings from me completely, he chose to tell me now."

[lilypotter60]

Something in Lily stirred to hear those words - he loved me ardently and desperately, enough to unravel every scrap of - of sensibility, or self-discipline that he possessed - and her face softened. "That's high praise, indeed," she murmured, passing a hand over her face and curling her legs up under her. A dull ache of longing settled in the back of her throat and Lily had to force herself away from it. Her eyes raised to Lizzy and she smiled.

"No one ever thinks they're worth it," Lily said, quite and assured. "When James - my late husband - told me he loved me the first time, when I really understood what that meant to him, I..." a tender grin flickered across her face, and she admitted ruefully, "I ran away. Locked myself up in my room and - and made lists, to try and suss out how I felt. I couldn't imagine... I'm nothing extraordinary. My faults are numerous and glaring; I'm not lovely or charming or witty or even that intelligent. I'm...I'm horrifically ordinary. And yet..." Lily swallowed hard and shrugged. "And

[fine_eyes_lizzy]

"I feel very sorry then, that I could not even think well of him when he confessed it to me," Lizzy replied softly, looking down a moment. "You are very lucky, though, to have loved someone who loved you back. I am deeply sorry that you should have lost him. I cannot imagine how horrible that must have been." She offered a melancholy smile at Lily. "But I do not think you ordinary in the slightest. You are capable of greater compassion for a relative stranger than some people are with their families, and I cannot help but admire you for it

[lilypotter60]

"Oh, I hated him at first," Lily hastened to tell Lizzy, a delighted smile tugging at her lips. "Thought he was a right prat. Arrogant, belligerent, always strutting about like he was something else. Spent most of his time showing off and the rest chasing after me, for Merlin knows what reason. Intelligent, yes, but annoying as hell. I couldn't stand him." A spasm of some deep pain crossed her eyes but Lily's smile didn't falter. "It took me years to figure him out, to see what lay beneath all the bluster and the cocky smiles. And he grew up, too, became more of a man. I - I loved him more than I thought I was capable of loving anyone or anything. I...I miss him

[fine_eyes_lizzy]

"Please do call me Lizzy," Elizabeth said, with a friendly smile. "I think that this only proves my admiration is well- founded. But to answer your question- I am not entirely sure. Mr. Darcy is excessively proud. I suppose he considers my relations beneath him. I am at a loss as to what he could have against me, though, as he just confessed that he loved me. Since I do not return his affections, I see why he has cause to dislike me now, but I do not see why he disliked me before. I thought he did. I was quite mistaken." She was extremely puzzled.