I'm Brian Fellow!
A little comedy:
Singers [ voice-over ]: He loves animals And they love him back.
Inter-species friends We ain't kidding, mac!
Brian Fellow's Safari Planet!
Brian Fellow's Safari Planet!
[ Scene changes to a cartoon background of two palm trees, grass, a blue sky, and the sun. TRACY
MORGAN, wearing a safari outfit, hat, and glasses, walks through this. A cartoon yellow kangaroo jumps past him and off screen. A disclaimer appears across the screen, which a voice-over reads: ]
Voice-Over: Brian Fellow is not an accredited zoologist, nor does he hold an advanced degree in any of the environmental sciences.
Voice-Over: He is simple an enthusiastic young man with a sixth-grade education and an abiding love for all God's creatures. Share his loves, tonight on...
Singers: Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's Safari Planet!
Brian Fellow: Good evening, and welcome to 'Brian Fellow's Safari Planet'. I'm Brian Fellow. It's fashion week here in New York City, so tonight we're gonna meet some animals that people make
clothes out of. I'm very excited, so let's get going! Our first guest can be made into jackets or hats.
Please welcome a bunny rabbit!
Brian Fellow: And who are you?
Kirsten Francis: Uh, I'm Kirsten Francis, of PETA.
Brian Fellow: Welcome, Peta.
Kirsten Francis: No, I'm Kirsten, I'm with the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
Brian Fellow: I'm Brian Fellow!
Kirsten Francis: Yeah, I know, I know.
Brian Fellow: So what's going on with this bunny rabbit?
Kirsten Francis: Well, this is Orphius. Last year, he was liberated from a filthy, understaffed
labratory-
Brian Fellow: Labratory? Is he some kind of rabbit scientist or something?
Kirsten Francis: No. He was the subject of a sadistic testing regiment.
Brian Fellow: A rabbit taking a test? That's crazy!
Kirsten Francis: You know what's crazy? The way this society treats our companion animals.
Animal testing and the wearing of fur are both symptomatic of humans' total disregard for animals.
[ BRIAN is looking off into the distance, obviously not paying attention. A thought bubble appears above his head. In it, a rabbit in glasses is writing a test ]
Kirsten Francis: We must accept that fur is murder. And absolutely, my-
Brian Fellow: Yes!
Kirsten Francis: Yes what?
Brian Fellow: I'm Brian Fellow!
Kirsten Francis: I know, Mr. Fellow.
Brian Fellow: Now let's get down to serious business. How does the Easter bunny know where everybody's house is?
Kirsten Francis: You know what, this is not the forum I thought it was, I'm leaving.
Brian Fellow: Good, go! And take that rabbit scientist with you, he's not as smart as he thinks. Sorry. Our next guest has made it to coats and scarves. Please welcome a mink!
Brian Fellow: And who are you?
Pat Enstance: Uh, I'm Pat Enstance from the Bronx Zoo.
Brian Fellow: And I'm Brian Fellow!
Pat Enstance: [ confused ] Yeah, I know, and I'm Pat Enstance.
Brian Fellow: And I'm Brian Fellow!
Pat Enstance: Okay, uh, Brian, these are short haired mink, they are from the ferret family and were bred to reduce the desirability to furiers-
Brian Fellow: [ looking at the minks ] Could you tell him to stop winking at me?! This white one here.
Pat Enstance: I'm pretty sure he's not winking at you, Brian.
Brian Fellow: Yeah, well, he'd better stop. Now, my producers tell me that minks are sneaky and clever, is that true?
Pat Enstance: Well, they are extremely intelligent, but sneaky implies a little something different, I think.
Brian Fellow: Well, he's gonna be walking different if he don't stop winking at me.
Pat Enstance: You know what, Brian, this animal doesn't 'wink' and he's not 'sneaky' either.
Brian Fellow: Well, is he smart?
Pat Enstance: Actually, he is. It has been proven that the mink has a good memory, and adept at problem solving-
Brian Fellow: Problem solving? That's funny!
Enstance: I'm not sure if it's 'funny', but the knowledge that a mink can retain is amazing, that's why I feel it's a travesty that these animals must be bred specifically...
[PAT's voice fades out as once again, TRACY begins to daydream. A thought bubble appears above his head, containing the same rabbit doing the quiz ]
Rabbit: [ with CHRIS KATTAN's voice, only higher ] I'm good at taking tests, but you aren't, are you Brian Fellow? Remember what the teacher would say? You're a dummy, Brian Fellow!
Brian Fellow: Hey!
Pat Enstance: What's wrong?
Brian Fellow: That rabbit insulted me!
Pat Enstance: What rabbit?
Brian Fellow: Can you teach your mink to kill a rabbit?
Pat Enstance: [ very confused ] Are you talking to me still?
Brian Fellow: I'm Brian Fellow! That's all the time we have for today on 'Brian Fellow's Safari
Planet'. Join me next time when we gonna meet animals that can be wallets or shoes. I'm Brian
Fellow!
Singers [ voice-over ]: He loves animals And they love him back.
Inter-species friends We ain't kidding, mac!
Brian Fellow's Safari Planet!
Brian Fellow's Safari Planet!
[ Scene changes to a cartoon background of two palm trees, grass, a blue sky, and the sun. TRACY
MORGAN, wearing a safari outfit, hat, and glasses, walks through this. A cartoon yellow kangaroo jumps past him and off screen. A disclaimer appears across the screen, which a voice-over reads: ]
Voice-Over: Brian Fellow is not an accredited zoologist, nor does he hold an advanced degree in any of the environmental sciences.
Voice-Over: He is simple an enthusiastic young man with a sixth-grade education and an abiding love for all God's creatures. Share his loves, tonight on...
Singers: Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's Safari Planet!
Brian Fellow: Good evening, and welcome to 'Brian Fellow's Safari Planet'. I'm Brian Fellow. It's fashion week here in New York City, so tonight we're gonna meet some animals that people make
clothes out of. I'm very excited, so let's get going! Our first guest can be made into jackets or hats.
Please welcome a bunny rabbit!
Brian Fellow: And who are you?
Kirsten Francis: Uh, I'm Kirsten Francis, of PETA.
Brian Fellow: Welcome, Peta.
Kirsten Francis: No, I'm Kirsten, I'm with the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
Brian Fellow: I'm Brian Fellow!
Kirsten Francis: Yeah, I know, I know.
Brian Fellow: So what's going on with this bunny rabbit?
Kirsten Francis: Well, this is Orphius. Last year, he was liberated from a filthy, understaffed
labratory-
Brian Fellow: Labratory? Is he some kind of rabbit scientist or something?
Kirsten Francis: No. He was the subject of a sadistic testing regiment.
Brian Fellow: A rabbit taking a test? That's crazy!
Kirsten Francis: You know what's crazy? The way this society treats our companion animals.
Animal testing and the wearing of fur are both symptomatic of humans' total disregard for animals.
[ BRIAN is looking off into the distance, obviously not paying attention. A thought bubble appears above his head. In it, a rabbit in glasses is writing a test ]
Kirsten Francis: We must accept that fur is murder. And absolutely, my-
Brian Fellow: Yes!
Kirsten Francis: Yes what?
Brian Fellow: I'm Brian Fellow!
Kirsten Francis: I know, Mr. Fellow.
Brian Fellow: Now let's get down to serious business. How does the Easter bunny know where everybody's house is?
Kirsten Francis: You know what, this is not the forum I thought it was, I'm leaving.
Brian Fellow: Good, go! And take that rabbit scientist with you, he's not as smart as he thinks. Sorry. Our next guest has made it to coats and scarves. Please welcome a mink!
Brian Fellow: And who are you?
Pat Enstance: Uh, I'm Pat Enstance from the Bronx Zoo.
Brian Fellow: And I'm Brian Fellow!
Pat Enstance: [ confused ] Yeah, I know, and I'm Pat Enstance.
Brian Fellow: And I'm Brian Fellow!
Pat Enstance: Okay, uh, Brian, these are short haired mink, they are from the ferret family and were bred to reduce the desirability to furiers-
Brian Fellow: [ looking at the minks ] Could you tell him to stop winking at me?! This white one here.
Pat Enstance: I'm pretty sure he's not winking at you, Brian.
Brian Fellow: Yeah, well, he'd better stop. Now, my producers tell me that minks are sneaky and clever, is that true?
Pat Enstance: Well, they are extremely intelligent, but sneaky implies a little something different, I think.
Brian Fellow: Well, he's gonna be walking different if he don't stop winking at me.
Pat Enstance: You know what, Brian, this animal doesn't 'wink' and he's not 'sneaky' either.
Brian Fellow: Well, is he smart?
Pat Enstance: Actually, he is. It has been proven that the mink has a good memory, and adept at problem solving-
Brian Fellow: Problem solving? That's funny!
Enstance: I'm not sure if it's 'funny', but the knowledge that a mink can retain is amazing, that's why I feel it's a travesty that these animals must be bred specifically...
[PAT's voice fades out as once again, TRACY begins to daydream. A thought bubble appears above his head, containing the same rabbit doing the quiz ]
Rabbit: [ with CHRIS KATTAN's voice, only higher ] I'm good at taking tests, but you aren't, are you Brian Fellow? Remember what the teacher would say? You're a dummy, Brian Fellow!
Brian Fellow: Hey!
Pat Enstance: What's wrong?
Brian Fellow: That rabbit insulted me!
Pat Enstance: What rabbit?
Brian Fellow: Can you teach your mink to kill a rabbit?
Pat Enstance: [ very confused ] Are you talking to me still?
Brian Fellow: I'm Brian Fellow! That's all the time we have for today on 'Brian Fellow's Safari
Planet'. Join me next time when we gonna meet animals that can be wallets or shoes. I'm Brian
Fellow!