(no subject)
ok... we had fun together today ^_^. Anyway, I hope you guys did. Ok, of course there were fun moments and stuff and I even laughed and all... But still... sorry... it's still really difficult for me... this fun can't replace what I really want...
I hate this... everytime after a meet. I get all lonely and realize how alone I am... I always thought I was used to being alone... but back then it didn't matter that I was alone, I just really didn't care...
But now... I found someone I really wanna be with... but I am still alone... and that is killing me...
Sorry if my posts only seem to be about this... well sorry... I am still (yes still) having problems with it.
I can't really describe it... first I was tricked into the idea that I almost had obtainted true happiness... and then that happiness was shatterd in alot of pieces right in front of me ;_; and I keep being reminded everytime how much I want it... and at the same time, that I can't have it... I don't think I'll ever be able to get all pieces back together. Because... well, it's in alot of pieces and it won't stick together anymore...
*sigh*
Is it supposed to hurt this much? I thought it was getting less... but I was wrong... I guess I was only straining myself so it wouldn't get out. And yea... now it all came out......
Why do I even continue with it... Because I can't let go... But it's only hurting me... I should let go... But I can't... because of my heart.
I hate this... everytime after a meet. I get all lonely and realize how alone I am... I always thought I was used to being alone... but back then it didn't matter that I was alone, I just really didn't care...
But now... I found someone I really wanna be with... but I am still alone... and that is killing me...
Sorry if my posts only seem to be about this... well sorry... I am still (yes still) having problems with it.
I can't really describe it... first I was tricked into the idea that I almost had obtainted true happiness... and then that happiness was shatterd in alot of pieces right in front of me ;_; and I keep being reminded everytime how much I want it... and at the same time, that I can't have it... I don't think I'll ever be able to get all pieces back together. Because... well, it's in alot of pieces and it won't stick together anymore...
*sigh*
Is it supposed to hurt this much? I thought it was getting less... but I was wrong... I guess I was only straining myself so it wouldn't get out. And yea... now it all came out......
Why do I even continue with it... Because I can't let go... But it's only hurting me... I should let go... But I can't... because of my heart.