Prompt Post 2 (Closed to new prompts)
Prompt post 2
Welcome to the Hobbit Kink Meme! Here you can post prompts for anything related to the Hobbit!
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Welcome to the Hobbit Kink Meme! Here you can post prompts for anything related to the Hobbit!
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The thought of seeing his boyfriend later on, - boyfriend! - kept the older man grinning through three difficult customers and one romantic meltdown on the part of a husband who was late for his anniversary and refused to believe that there were no white roses to be found. However, Bilbo eventually managed to convince him that his wife would appreciate gardenias far more than waiting another hour and he was ushering the man out of the door when Kíli rode up.
“You're early, love.” The florist called out in greeting, his words dissolving into startled laughter as the younger man swept him into his arms. Kíli swung him around twice before setting Bilbo back on his feet and planting a quick kiss on his lips. “Well I just couldn't wait to see you. That's not a problem, is it?” His boyfriend asked, a hint of mischief in his eyes.
“Don't worry, I'm not complaining.” The older man replied with a smile of his own. “But I think we just scandalized Mrs. Gertrude across the street.” He continued, giving a cheerful wave to the old woman who was standing in her window and staring at them with mouth agape.
Kíli took one glance at her and started giggling madly, gasping out apologies between his howls of mirth. “Sorry, sorry. I just... did you see her face?” The younger man cackled as his boyfriend drew him inside the store. Though once she was out of sight, he settled down quickly, hopping on the stool behind the counter to watch the florist work.
As much as Bilbo would have liked to ignore his job and hang out with the barista for a few hours, he simply couldn't afford to take the time off right now. However, Kíli didn't seem to mind if he made bouquets while they talked and to the florist's surprise, his female customers nearly doubled in the time that the younger man was there.
It was rather ridiculous the way women kept walking by, glancing in the window and doing double-takes before rushing inside the store. His boyfriend wasn't even dressed like an employee, so the first time someone leaned over the counter with a sultry smile and asked Kíli about his favorite flower, the barista just stared at her nonplussed. After a moment, he glanced over at Bilbo who shrugged and mouthed, 'sell her some orchids'. Considering that the woman was definitely more interested in his man than his flowers, the florist figured he might as well give her the most expensive ones he had.
Besides she looked like she could afford it and when she didn't even blink at the price, Bilbo knew that he was right. As soon as the woman left the store, Kíli broke into another fit of giggles and asked, “What the heck was that about? I probably could have sold her anything.”
“Some women like guys who like flowers.” The older man replied with a smirk. “Though your pretty face probably didn't hurt. Just remember who you're dating here.”
“I'm not pretty, I'm handsome.” His boyfriend retorted before leaning in for another kiss. “But don't worry, no well-dressed business woman is going to steal me away. No matter how rich she may be.”
Considering the number of women and odd man who tried to slip Kíli their numbers over the next few hours, from college freshman to octogenarians, it was good that Bilbo wasn't really the jealous type. He probably should be given his history, but if his past heartbreak had taught the florist anything, it was that cheaters would do their thing no matter what. In any case, the younger man was too innocently amused at his customers' flirtations to be taking them seriously and Bilbo didn't think his trust was misplaced.
So the florist stood back and watched the show, only intervening when one of his regulars arrived. Frankly Kíli was in his element, convincing these people to buy the fanciest bouquets with little more than a joke and a smile, and no left unsatisfied. Though some of these customers pushed it a little far.
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“Excuse me, ma'am,” He said, smiling politely as he backed away. “But I need to talk to my boyfriend for a moment. It is his shop after all.”
“Boyfriend? Are you sure about that?” She asked, lips curling down in a moue of disappointment. But when the younger man nodded firmly, Mrs. Remington conceded the point and wandered next door to drown her sorrows in an expensive frappucino.
“Well this has been an interesting experience.” Kíli said, wrapping an arm around Bilbo's waist and pressing a kiss against his hair. “Unfortunately I do actually have to go back to class today.”
“If you must, I'll let you go for now.” The florist sighed before grinning cheekily. “Though the ladies are going to be severely disappointed.”
“Well they'll just have to live with the frustration because I have a boyfriend already and I'm rather fond of him.” The younger man replied in that ridiculously sweet way of his. “Besides, most of those women were nuts so I may have to stick to coffee from now on.”
“Fair enough.” The florist agreed, escorting his boyfriend out the door. “Have a good time at class and I'll call you later; hopefully by then I'll have figured out what our next date will be.”
“I'm looking forward to it.” Kíli called as he drove off with a wave and Bilbo ducked into Cafe Erebor for a quick drink before continuing his work. Bombur was there again, taking his order with a knowing smile and the florist decided that the younger man must have been right about Thorin's gossiping. However, the redhead seemed to be happy for them and hopefully the rest of Kíli's relatives would feel the same.
The remainder of the day wasn't nearly as entertaining now that the younger man had left, so the florist had plenty of time to plan out what they should do. His boyfriend had set the bar high with their first date and Bilbo wasn't going to try to top him in ingenuity.
Instead he decided on something entertaining, something a little more lighthearted than their last one, which is how the pair found themselves whirling around on roller skates a few evenings later. Going to the rink might be a cliché but the smile on Kíli's face was worth it and it had been a long time since the older man had allowed himself to let loose like that. They joked and laughed and spun around like idiots and all told it was a very satisfying day.
From then on the couple went on at least a few dates a week, ranging from sweet and emotional to silly fun. Kíli took them hiking and bicycling when he wasn't surprising Bilbo with cooking classes and the florist managed a few surprises of his own.
Once the younger man got his archery club started, the florist came to watch him practice and if he hadn't already thought his boyfriend was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen, this would have sealed the deal. He was beautiful in his concentration, the serious cast a sharp contrast to his normal cheer, and Bilbo had always liked men who were good with their hands.
Watching him shoot, the older man wondered if he was being stupid by making them wait because at the moment, he wanted nothing more than to feel those clever fingers on his skin. However, the time never felt quite right and this was one area where his past had scarred him deep.
Yet with every day they spent together, the florist felt his heart grow a little softer and while Kíli would steal kisses whenever possible, he never pressed for more.
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“Oh? What kind of something?” The older man replied warily, preparing for the worst. Conversations which started like this rarely meant anything good and although Bilbo tried to sound unaffected, he couldn't keep from tensing against Kíli's side.
His boyfriend frowned down at him in confusion for a second, before his eyes widened in sudden understanding. “What, no, don't freak out. Everything's fine, really,” The younger man promised fervently as he wrapped the florist more tightly in his arms. “Shit I should have phrased this better; I've just been thinking about it for awhile and wasn't sure if you'd say yes.”
“Say yes to what exactly?” Bilbo asked again, not quite ready to let his doubts disappear even while he let the younger man pull him closer.
“Oh, well see. Uncle's birthday is next week and I know the two of you are friends so I was wondering if you would want to come to the party. I mean I'll have to make an appearance either way but I'd like to introduce you to everyone if you're willing. The whole family will be there,” Kíli explained in a somewhat convoluted ramble, looking at the other earnestly.
“You want me to meet your relatives?” The florist wasn't sure if he should be terrified or flattered by the suggestion, but at least he could stop waiting for a worse blow to fall. Truthfully it meant a lot that the other man cared about him enough to ask and so maybe it was time to take another chance.
“Only if you're comfortable, of course.” His boyfriend continued, backtracking slightly when Bilbo had been staring at him silently for awhile. “If you don't want to face the crowd I totally understand but maybe you could still meet my mum and brother later on?” The younger man looked so hopeful and there was no way that the florist could resist those enormous pleading eyes.
How can I refuse him this when he's been so patient with me? It's not like he's asking something terrible, Bilbo thought and the way that Kíli beamed when he agreed was worth any nervousness.
Though when the florist found himself standing on Thorin's doorstep, this truth seemed rather far away and he gripped his boyfriend's hand tightly for support. He hadn't been expecting the house to be quite so large and intimidating, and if Bilbo survived this evening, he was going to ask Kíli just what Thorin used to do. However, first he had to actually survive the other's family and the florist had to fight to keep the friendly smile on his face as the front door swung open on a cacophony of sound.
“Kíli! You're here and you brought your boy!” A voice cried out exuberantly and a second later Bilbo was pulled into a hug. He didn't even have a chance to register who was talking before his face was mashed into their chest and it would be entirely unfair if the whole family was this tall.
Though his nervous irritation was overwhelmed by the urge to giggle when the florist heard his boyfriend whine, “Mum! Do you have to do that? You're going to chase him off.”
“Nonsense.” She retorted sternly, though she did at least draw back far enough for Bilbo to breathe. “If he were that easy to spook, he never would have lasted this long. I'm your mother remember, I know what you're like. Now introduce us will you?”
“Fine.” Kíli conceded, drawing his boyfriend back to his side with a huff. “Bilbo meet my mum, Desmonda Prince. Mother, this is Bilbo Baggins of Baggins' Bouquets.”
“Durin dear, I went back to my maiden name, remember? But it's good to finally meet you in person Bilbo, I've heard so much about you.” Desmonda said, giving the florist a brilliant smile, and he could see where Kíli got it from. In fact, now that he could see her face, the similarity was striking for mother and son could have been twins if not separated by gender and age. She certainly managed to match his overwhelming glee. “Do call me Dís though, everyone does.”
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“Aww, isn't he sweet.” Dís replied, reaching out to pinch his cheeks before sweeping her son into a hug of his own. “Now come inside and meet everyone else so we can get this party started.”
What followed was a whirlwind of names and faces and it wasn't long before Bilbo was completely lost. There were Balin and Bifur and Dori and Dáin; Ori and Bofur and Glóin and another Thorin who went by Helmut for a reason that was never quite explained. The sheer mass of people was rather astonishing and the only thing they seemed to have in common was that their names were baffling and their grins were wide.
At least no one appeared to hate him since with every introduction, the florist was drawn into hugs or handshakes as Kíli's relatives offered their congratulations on making it this far. Even the more familiar faces like Dwalin and Bombur winked and mouthed 'good job' from across the room. Honestly, it seemed like an odd thing to be supportive of since it made his boyfriend sound undateable, but perhaps they were simply happy that he hadn't run screaming yet. Because Thorin had been right about his family and some of them did make Kíli seem practically comatose.
Considering the rest of his boyfriend's relatives, his brother was surprisingly restrained, shaking Bilbo's hand with a crooked grin and accepting his double-take in stride. The florist hadn't meant to be rude, but the two young men were as different as night and day and given how much Kíli looked like his mother, he hadn't been expecting that. The well-muscled blond before him might as well have been a changeling in comparison.
“I look like our father,” Fíli explained cheerfully, “It made for some difficult years when we were younger, but considering this lot, it's kind of nice to be the only blond. If nothing else it makes it easier to pretend that I don't know him when he's being embarrassing.”
Kíli reacted to this taunt in true little brother fashion and the florist watched the impromptu scuffle with delight. For all their differences in appearance, Kíli and Fíli were alike in other ways, and he could see their relation when they fought.
“Hopeless aren't they?” Someone asked at Bilbo's side and he turned to see a redheaded teenager grinning up at him. “I'm Gimli, son of Glóin over there. Those two brats are my cousins.”
Over the course of the ensuing conversation, the florist discovered that Gimli was the one who had put together their stargazing picnic and took this chance to express his sincere appreciation. From there it didn't take long for the two to became lost in comparing their favorite recipes, and it was obvious that the redhead was quite skilled despite his age.
“I'm in the culinary program at UH with my boyfriend right now,” The teen explained, glowing with pride at being accepted to such a prestigious school. “He's going to stop by later if he can and I'll try to introduce you two. We'd like to open a local restaurant once we graduate, though it's going to be hard if his dad doesn't stop being a dick. Legolas keeps trying but the old man hates my family and so far he just won't give in. Snobby vegan bastard.”
“Oh!” Bilbo exclaimed in sudden realization. “You're dating Thranduil's son, aren't you? I knew your name sounded familiar. Some of my relatives dragged me to the Greenwood Hall awhile ago and I heard the two of them arguing. I'm sorry things are still so bad.”
“Nah, it's all right.” Gimli reassured him. “Legolas isn't going to back down so Thranduil will have to come around eventually. It's not even the vegan thing that's the biggest issue, since I know a number of perfectly nice alternative chefs, he just hates Thorin too much to like the thought of me.”
“Really?” The florist asked, always eager for more information about his silent friend.
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A lawyer, huh? That certainly explains a few things. Like this enormous house, Bilbo thought before putting his curiosity from his mind. While he was pleased to finally know the basics, he wasn't going to do his friend the disservice of wild speculation, not when he knew how painful that could be.
By now, Fíli and Kíli had declared their competition a tie, or rather both were claiming victory, so the florist waded in to grab his boyfriend and go get a drink. “I'll get you next time Fílipek,” The younger man called out as Bilbo dragged him off but his brother just waved him away with a rude hand gesture and the florist had to stifle a laugh at their antics as he poured himself some wine.
The pair wished Thorin a happy birthday before wandering around the party to chat with anyone who caught their eye. The food and drink were fantastic, one definite benefit to their host having money, and Bilbo soon forgot why he had ever been nervous at all.
Kíli's family was an interesting bunch of people, quirky and entirely unapologetic but highly entertaining nonetheless. Dís and Thorin were usually in the center of the chaos, holding court among their relatives with their stories and deadpan jokes. The more everyone drank, the crazier the tales, though the florist wondered if he had had a bit too much when he saw his deliveryman slip through the front door.
“Nori, what are you doing here?” He asked incredulously, rubbing at his eyes. But he couldn't have been hallucinating for the other man greeted Bilbo and Kíli with a cheerful wave.
“Me and my brothers are relatives of sorts even if Dori's the only one who knows exactly how. So I came to get in on the fun.” The deliveryman told him as he hung up his coat. “I would have told you but you weren't dating my cousin when you hired me and it never seemed relevant later on.”
“Don't worry about it.” The florist replied with a tipsy smile. “Although I may have to hit you up for childhood stories now that I know. It'll make the deliveries go faster if nothing else.”
“It's a deal.” Nori agreed over Kíli's loud objections before Ori grabbed his brother to round out their Blackjack game. Bilbo was tempted to join them until he got a glimpse of the vicious way the Durins played - with the way they handled the cards it was rather more like Slap Jack - and there was no way the florist was getting in the middle of that.
By this point the wine and the late hour were starting to go to the Bilbo's head and he decided to take his leave before he made a fool of himself. Kíli had been nursing one glass all evening so he was still sober enough to drive and his boyfriend held him steady while they said their farewells.
The wine and the warmth conspired to make the florist drift off on the ride home and he was nearly asleep by the time the pair arrived at Bag End. In this space next to dreaming, Bilbo found himself wondering what he had been so scared of, because now that he had met Kíli's family some truths seemed obvious. While his heart might still break someday, this loss would not be from betrayal and he did not want to sabotage what they had with doubt. So this time when his boyfriend walked him to the door and kissed him farewell, Bilbo did not let him leave.
“Stay with me tonight?” The florist asked, reaching out to grab Kíli's hand as the young man turned to go. These words brought the barista up short and he turned to stare at his boyfriend in surprise. But when the older man twined his arms around Kíli's neck and whispered, “please,” his whole face softened with delight.
“You're sure this time?” His boyfriend murmured against Bilbo's cheek, the soft touch igniting a fire in his skin.
“I'm sure,” The florist promised, before pulling Kíli down into another heated kiss. Once they stumbled inside, Bilbo kicked the door shut behind them and the last thing he said before he drew the younger man upstairs was a whispered, “I am very sure indeed.”
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Over the next few weeks, Kíli spent so many evenings at Bag End that he had practically moved in and waking up curled in his boyfriend's arms never failed to put a smile on Bilbo's face. Indeed he had not been this happy since before his parents died and even talking to Gandalf couldn't annoy him as it once did.
The florist should have known that such joy could never pass unchallenged.
It was his relatives of course, a thorn in his side like always, for the Sackville-Bagginses had never been willing to let him be. Where the other members of his family simply pretended that they'd never known him, Lobelia always had to interfere and so Bilbo should have expected her meddling. However, she hadn't called in ages and his recent good luck had driven his cousin from his mind.
Which made it even more of a shock when Lobelia strolled into his shop one morning just after it had opened, looking around her as though she owned the place.
“What are you doing here?” Bilbo asked, trying and failing to keep his annoyance from his voice.
“I have news, dear cousin. Difficult news and I thought that you should hear it from me instead of my lawyer.” She replied, her expression a false facade of caring that made the florist cringe. If Lobelia's mentioning her lawyer, then this can't be good. The last time I saw him, she was trying to have my parents' will thrown out.
“News about what exactly? I'm still not giving you my house,” Bilbo said warily, not liking the avaricious gleam within her eyes.
“Oh no of course not, darling.” His cousin said, placing one hand on her heart dramatically. “It's actually about this quaint little shop of yours. You see, we all thought that your parents owned the building outright, but we were searching through some of our old records and that just isn't the case.”
“Bullshit,” Bilbo burst out. “I inherited the deed when my parents died and their names were the only ones on it.”
“The only ones on the deed, yes, but there's the matter of this little contract to be dealt with.” Lobelia told him as she pulled a folder from her purse. “It seems my dear husband Otho helped them make this purchase and the whole matter just slipped his mind. You know how his memory is these days. So your parents may have been on the deed, but there's a standing debt that's owed.”
“Cosigned as equal partners... either owner may sell at any time... must be bought out at full market price by the other or property to be sold...” The florist mumbled, reading over the paperwork. With every line, the knot in his stomach grew tighter and by the time he finished, Bilbo felt like he would be sick. “There must be some mistake. If this were true you should have been listed on the deed, or at least mentioned it when their estate was settled. I don't... I mean... I could maybe do installments, but there's no way that I can pay you that kind of lump sum now.”
“We know, cousin. That's why I'm here.” Lobelia murmured, reaching out to pat his hand. “Obviously we don't want to take your business away from you, but a contract is a contract and debts must be paid. You have until the end of the month to come up with the money or I'm afraid that we'll either have to put this place on the market or start seizing your assets, starting with that lovely house of yours.”
His cousin swept out just as regally as she had entered, leaving the florist with this ultimatum and a sick feeling in his gut. There was no way Bilbo could pay his cousins off that quickly without selling Bag End, not with how real estate had shot up in recent years, and the thought broke his heart.
So when Kíli stopped by before his shift an hour later, he found the florist sitting at the counter with his head in his hands. Bilbo looked up at his entrance to give him a bleak smile and while the barista had been running late, all other concerns disappeared at the pain in his boyfriend's eyes.
“Bilbo, what's wrong?” The younger man asked, rushing to the other's side and beneath his gentle questioning, the whole story came pouring out: Lobelia's visit and her demands and the contract that started it all.
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“Are you sure it is real?” Kíli asked, eyeing the documents suspiciously. “I'm no expert but this whole thing does seem really strange. Tell you what, let me make a call and get someone down here to check it out.”
“A call?” His boyfriend asked in confusion, “You know someone who deals with things like this?”
“Love, haven't you noticed?” The young man replied with a smile, “My family deals in everything. But uncle Thorin was a real estate lawyer so this might as well be our specialty.”
“So are you going to ask him?” Bilbo said, feeling his hopes begin to rise for the first time since Lobelia had dropped her bomb.
“Nah. If this contract is real then we'll go to him, because retired or not he should be able to represent you or at least find someone else who can. But we might not even have to ask depending on what Nori says. He's good with these sort of things.” Kíli explained before pulling out his phone.
While his boyfriend made the call, Bilbo digested this new revelation, wondering what other surprises the barista's relatives had in store. Admittedly his new driver had always seemed a little shifty, if a perfectly nice guy, but this kind of specialized knowledge had never crossed his mind. However, while that Kíli's reaction was certainly unexpected, it was nice to know that his boyfriend had his back, for the florist hadn't had any allies other than Gandalf in a very long time.
Nori arrived within the hour and he listened carefully as his cousin told him what was going on. Then he held his hand out for the folder, taking it over to the window to examine the documents while Kíli went next door to explain why he was late.
On his return, the young man brought Bilbo his usual order and the tea helped to calm the florist's twitchy nerves. So he nibbled on his muffin, the barista pressed against his side for support, until Nori finally looked up with a grin.
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“Oh thank the lord,” Bilbo said, sinking down into his chair as his knees gave out with relief. “I owe you Nori, really. A bonus at least.”
“Don't worry about it.” His deliveryman told him, shaking his head. “You're family now and that's all there is to it. Besides it's not all good news - even though this isn't real you can't do anything against your cousins unless you can prove beyond a doubt that they knew it was a fake.”
“Trust me, this is plenty.” The florist replied, still somewhat flabbergasted by the show of support. Is this what families are supposed to be like? My relatives spend more time stabbing each other in the back for social standing than they do actually helping each other. “It would be nice if I could make Lobelia back off forever, but I've been dealing with her for nearly all my life, so I think I can manage a few more years. If nothing else, threatening to reveal her duplicity to the rest of the family should make her wary of messing with me again.”
So Bilbo thanked Nori once more and allowed him to go back to whatever he was doing, convincing Kíli to go off to work as well. Then he called his cousin, using his store phone because there's no way she was getting his cell number, and told her the great news.
For once in her life, Lobelia backed down without a fight and that more than anything told the florist that she had known the truth all along. Though of course, his cousin pretended to be shocked at the revelation, promising to hunt down that poor notary and make him pay. Bilbo rather hoped that she didn't bother since he wouldn't wish her vengeance on even his worst enemies, although if the notary had known what he was doing, perhaps it served him right.
The florist actually hung up in the middle of Lobelia's tirade because once he was assured of his cousin's compliance, he didn't really want to listen to her anymore. After all, he had much more pleasant things to be thinking about, like that gorgeous boyfriend of his who would be on his break soon.
So Bilbo put this encounter from his mind and turned to help the frantic customer who had just walked in the door.
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“Bilbo, my dear boy,” His uncle bellowed heartily, blatantly ignoring the fact that the two of them hadn't spoken since the funeral and didn't even like each other enough to send out generic Yuletide cards. “You will be coming to the family reunion next Saturday, won't you? The whole clan will be there and I know that they would love to see your face.”
“Um, what?” Was all the florist managed to stutter out. This invitation was literally the last thing he expected and Bilbo would have been less surprised to hear that Otho and Lobelia were becoming humanitarians.
“The family reunion, son. It would be so nice if you could come this time,” Longo said, his attempt at sincerity sounding rather more like condescension.
“This time? You've had one before? I wasn't aware that I was ever invited to an event like that and I don't see why I should intrude where I'm not wanted.” Bilbo replied, putting a hint of bite in his words. This was the first time he had heard about any reunion and the florist knew well what his family thought of him.
“Oh come on now, you can hardly hold the past against us. It's not as though you had made the best life choices and we couldn't have such a bad example around the children when they were young.” His uncle explained, apparently not seeing anything wrong with calling the other's entire life a waste.
This is really not how to make me change my mind, Bilbo thought, rolling his eyes in exasperation, but he couldn't get a word in edgewise while Longo rambled on. “... and you know that my brother was running for sheriff so being seen with one of your kind would have ruined his chances. But I hear that you've begun to turn yourself around so we'd love to see you there.”
“Fine, I'll check my schedule and let you know.” Bilbo promised, fully intending to make up some prior engagement if none arrived.
However, when he mentioned the strange phone call to Kíli that evening, his boyfriend refused to accept his choice without an explanation. Although considering that the florist had actively avoided mentioning most of his relatives during the entire time that they had known each other, the younger man's question was rather justified.
“Wait, you actually have enough relatives to have a reunion?” He asked, turning to look at Bilbo in confusion. “I thought that you just had that one awful cousin. Why haven't you talked about any of them before?”
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“I haven't mentioned them because they're bastards and they hate me and I never wanted you to have to deal with that.” Bilbo said, the words stumbling over one another in a rushing tide. “They're the worst kind of high society vultures: completely obsessed with their image and they would sell each other in a heartbeat for a bit more power in their hands. My father was practically disowned by his siblings when he 'married beneath his station' and my preferences certainly didn't help to change their minds. I haven't seen anyone but Otho and Lobelia since the funeral because no one else would talk to me and those two just want to get my house.”
“So it wasn't that you didn't want them to meet me?” Kíli whispered, the hurt finally beginning to disappear.
“No, never. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'd be proud to show you off.” The florist promised as he wrapped the younger man in a tight hug. “If anything I didn't want you to meet them. They'd tear you apart for dating me and I guess I was worried that you might start to see their side.”
“Sometimes you're an idiot, Bilbo.” His boyfriend responded, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “So it's a good thing that I like you as much as I do. You can't pick your relatives and I'm hardly going to let some bigoted assholes scare me off. Will you trust me on that?”
“I do,” The florist protested, before admitting with a frustrated sigh. “I just have trouble believing this is real sometimes. I mean you're just so... why would you stick with me?”
“You know what? We should go to this reunion of yours.” Kíli declared in what seemed to be a complete non sequitur. But he was entirely serious and as the older man stared at him in bafflement, he went on to explain. “That way you could see if all of your relatives are as bad as you remember and maybe you'd finally believe me when I say that I'd walk through hell for you.”
While part of Bilbo was pleased at the younger man's offer, none of his past asshole boyfriends would have ever considered that, the rest of his mind knew: this is a terrible idea. So when he finally managed to stop gaping long enough to find his voice, that is what came out.
“Seriously, this is a terrible idea. I can't even... “ The florist trailed off, shaking his head. “They'd probably throw us out the instant we walked through the door and you shouldn't... You don't have anything to prove to me. I know I'm just being stupid and I don't need you to suffer through my relatives just to reopen old wounds. Because you can't fix everything, you know, and sometimes you shouldn't try.”
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“Because your family is actually made up of decent human beings!” His boyfriend shouted in exasperation as he finally lost his temper. “But you know what, fine! If you want to have a miserable evening that badly, I'll call Longo back and tell him we'll be there at five with the rest. So when the bastards spend the entire night making snide comments behind our backs, at least I'll get to say I told you so.”
“Fine! I'll see you then.” The younger man growled in agreement before gathering his stuff and stalking out the door. He paused only to shout, “I just want to fucking make you happy, asshole,” before the florist heard his bike roar off.
Bilbo sank back onto the couch with a growl of his own, kicking at a cushion in frustration. Stupid bloody-minded bastard. Why can't he just accept that some things suck and leave it at that? But no, he always has to be the fucking hero so now we're going to walk blindly into the viper's den and they're going to try to rip him to pieces. And he's either going to kill someone and end up in prison for the rest of his life or he's finally going to realize what a mess I am and dump my sorry ass.
That had been their first real fight and the florist's anger was quickly turning to misery as he replayed it in his mind. Even if Kíli was being stupid, and he was, Bilbo knew that he had severely overreacted as well.
So now he was committed to attending the damn thing, terrible idea or not, and he picked up the phone to call Longo before he lost his nerve. There was no way the older man was going to back down, not after the speech he had given, and he certainly wouldn't be the first to apologize. Though it was rather lonely to go to bed alone, trying to ignore the way that Kíli's toothbrush stared at him accusingly. Even Bilbo's mattress seemed too large now for all that he had slept in it for years and it was a long time before he managed to fall asleep.
Things didn't seem much better in the morning, if anything the florist just felt worse, and dragging himself into work that day was nearly impossible. Truthfully, he might as well have stayed in bed since no one wanted to buy flowers from someone who looked like his heart was breaking and and every time Bilbo checked his phone to see no messages, his heart sank a little more.
At least Kíli wasn't at the cafe that morning because seeing him would have sorely tested the older man's resolve. But for all that he didn't want to imagine losing his boyfriend, if I can even call him that anymore, the florist refused to beg and they would resolve this as equals or not at all.
But the younger man didn't call him and so he spent several hours wallowing in his loneliness before he finally gave up and went home. At least there he could indulge his misery with ice cream and maybe tomorrow would be a brighter day. However, waking up alone sucked just as much the second time so when his phone finally buzzed, Bilbo shoved the bouquet he was holding into the window and rushed over to see what it said.
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Which was a revelation that the florist would revisit later on. For now, he simply typed: 'I'd like that. I still think I'm right too, but I may have overreacted a bit. My family has always been a touchy subject.'
'Will you tell me why?' was the near instantaneous response and Bilbo flushed with pleasure at the knowledge that Kíli must have been waiting anxiously as well.
'I'll try. There's so much history that it's hard to know where to start. They're just horrible, they've always been horrible and I can't see that changing anytime soon. You know Lobelia tried to get me to sign over my parents' house at their funeral? She couldn't even wait a fucking day and Otho was plastered as usual, not that I can blame him too much considering his wife.
But they're all like that. Too caught up in social status and appearances to be decent human beings. When I was a kid my aunts and uncles would drop by our house just to berate my father for his choices and they were always trying to convince him to leave my mother for some high class trophy wife.
They don't even care that I prefer men, not really. I could sleep with as many men as I wanted and my relatives wouldn't bat an eye as long as I had an official wife to bring to social functions. Lord knows uncle Polo has never been particularly faithful but he's discreet and no one cares as long as there's no scandal. So really they're shallow greedy bigots who bend over backwards to accommodate public opinion and I don't understand why you would want to meet them at all.'
It was strangely cathartic to write out this explanation, almost as though the resentment had festered and speaking of it lanced the wound. The distance of texting helped as well, giving Bilbo time to gather his words without pressure, and he felt lighter once this message was sent.
'All right, so they do sound pretty bad.' Kíli admitted after a long delay. However, the florist should have known that the barista wouldn't give up so fast. 'And I know you won't want to hear this, but can you be sure that they're all like that? You said yourself that you haven't seen your relatives in years, so some of them might have changed.'
These words made Bilbo want to lash out again, scream at the younger man to let the damn thing go. But that was what had gotten them into this mess in the first place, so this time he forced himself to stop and think about the other's words instead.
'Honestly, I don't know. Some of my second cousins were all right when we were children and Aunt Rosa married a Took so her kids were always a little different than the rest. But most of them are around your age now or a bit younger and I seriously doubt that they're any better than their parents were back in the day.'
'Don't you want to be sure before you give up on them completely?' Kíli wrote back and it seemed entirely unfair that he could sound so earnest in a text. 'I mean, my family drives me crazy sometimes but I know they'll always be there for me and if even one of your relatives might give you the same support, wouldn't it be worth finding out?'
'I'm not the one giving up on them! They abandoned me after my parents died and I know when I'm not wanted. Why should I risk feeling that pain again?' The florist typed back hotly, an echo of old grief flaring in his chest.
'Longo did call you, maybe he finally wants to try. And if your cousins were just children when everything happened, they probably thought that you didn't like them anymore. Who knows what their parents told them after all? Just go this once and see what happens, please? I'll be there with you and if everything goes horribly wrong at least you'll still have tried.'
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'So does this mean that I'm forgiven? Can I come in?' This text was accompanied by a quiet knock and the florist looked up to see his boyfriend waving hesitantly through the window of his shop.
At the sight, Bilbo couldn't help but smile and he gestured the other man inside. “Come here you silly bastard,” He said, wrapping the younger man in a hug and after a moment, Kíli relaxed within his arms.
“I really am sorry you know,” The barista murmured against his neck as he held on tight. “I don't like fighting with you at all.”
“Me neither,” The older man replied, determined to make things right again. “And I'm sorry I got so angry. I know you were trying to help and I probably did need to hear it - I just didn't want to. Maybe next time we have a disagreement we can try it without the yelling and storming off because I'm rather used to having you around.”
“Deal,” His boyfriend agreed, leaning in to seal it with a kiss. Somehow that turned into making out against the counter and while the florist was enjoying himself too much to stop, he did spare a thought to hope that no one was getting a show as they walked by.
However, eventually Bilbo's conscience got the better of him and the older man drew back with a reluctant sigh, knowing that he shouldn't let Kíli distract him like this. “As much as I would love to continue what we're doing, it should probably wait for later. I am supposed to be working and I really can't leave the shop unattended right now.”
“There's always the storage room,” His boyfriend told him with a cheeky grin, a wicked light shining in his eyes.
“You know, I do believe you're right,” The florist responded, unable to resist the temptation of that heated gaze. So he flipped his sign to closed and locked the door behind him before pulling Kíli toward the back. He had a boyfriend to ravish and if anyone needed flowers, they could wait 'til he was done.
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Maybe she just doesn't want to wait until the old bastard dies, Bilbo mused, clutching onto Kíli's hand for courage as the handle began to turn.
However, to his great surprise, the person standing before them wasn't Lobelia or Longo but a young woman whom he didn't recognize, at least not until she shrieked his name and threw herself into his arms.
“Dora?” He asked incredulously, staggering back beneath her weight. “Look at you, you're all grown up.”
“Yeah well, that's what happens when you disappear for a decade,” His second cousin replied, standing back to glare at him. “I mean I know the old crowd can be a bitch sometimes, but some of us would have liked to know that you were still alive.”
Kíli was grinning smugly at him but the florist couldn't be too annoyed with his boyfriend when Dora was making him feel so guilty about cutting all his ties. The older man stuttered out an explanation as best he could and while his cousin forced him to sweat for awhile, her face eventually softened again.
“Well you're here now so I suppose I can forgive you. Though if you vanish again we're going to have words. Actually give me your phone number; give me all your phone numbers because I'm not letting you get away this time.” She demanded and Bilbo gave in without complaint. It meant a lot that Dora wanted to stay in touch this badly so when Kíli bumped his shoulder to catch his attention, the florist just grinned and rolled his eyes. His boyfriend would probably be insufferable for a few days but he had earned it and maybe would help to soften the reactions still to come.
“So anyway, who is this?” Dora asked when she was finished taking down her cousin's information and on the news that he was Bilbo's boyfriend, her eyes widened with glee. “Oh the old crowd is going to hate that. Good thing I'm the one who opened the door then or you might never have made it inside. But while most of your cousins are as bad as their parents, the Tooks won't care and neither will my brothers, though I'm not sure about the rest.”
“Well that's something,” The florist replied, steeling himself to follow her inside and trying not to wince when all eyes turned their way. Bilbo hadn't expected quite so many people to be at this reunion, but it seemed that his clan had only grown in the time that he'd been gone.
After what felt like an eternity, Longo and his wife Camellia stepped forward to greet their nephew, staring down their noses at Kíli the whole time. However once that painfully awkward introduction was finally over, the situation began to look up. Because while the other aunts and uncles refused to speak to Bilbo for bringing his boyfriend, his cousin had been right about the younger generation.
The Tooks started it of course, Adalgrim hugging the florist tightly before introducing his young children, two adorable balls of energy just into the toddling age. Then Dora dragged the pair over to her siblings, Drogo and Dudo greeting him with some of their sister's glee for here were two more people who were glad he was alive. Drogo's girlfriend Primula Brandybuck also turned out to be a sweetheart, which helped to take some of the sting out of the fact that neither Prisca nor Posco could do more than wave under their father's watchful eye.
Though Posco's girlfriend Gilly snuck over for introductions and she nearly had a heart attack when the florist drew his boyfriend to the fore. The young woman was apparently something of an archery nut and declared herself Kíli's biggest fan, going into a rant about nationals that Bilbo didn't even pretend to understand.
“Don't feel too sorry for him. He knows that Mirkwood won their last tournament fair and square,” A soft voice declared from near the buffet table and although Gilly bristled, Kíli just laughed when he saw who it was.
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“Dad was hired by the host to do the catering and so of course he dragged me along. But I'm glad that you're here too; it's nice to see a familiar face amidst all this high society and we haven't really caught up in ages. Though I suppose I can't blame you for being somewhat AWOL since you started dating him,” Legolas replied, sending Bilbo a friendly grin. The two had yet to have a proper conversation but Gimli seemed to have chosen well and if nothing else, it took a certain kind of stubborn crazy to meet the Durins and survive.
“You're right, but this probably isn't the best place for that unless you want to get in trouble again,” Kíli told him, ignoring the interplay between the blonds. For all that the old crowd wasn't talking to them, they certainly liked to stare and one of them would probably tell Thranduil if his son started slacking off. “Do you mind if we wander away for a bit?”
This last was directed to his boyfriend and Bilbo was about to say that it was fine when Legolas spoke up again. “We can't abandon him to these people and you know it, Kíli. Why don't the lot of you come into the kitchen and I'll get you some decent food to eat?”
Drogo and Dudo seemed rather nonplussed by this invitation, while Gilly was still staring starry-eyed, but Dora accepted for the group and his second cousin had them all moving soon enough. She waved off her father's frown with an airy, “going to give Bilbo the tour,” in order to deflect suspicion and the older man felt much better once they had passed out from under the old crowd's judgmental eyes.
His younger relatives seemed to feel the same, for as soon as the door to the main room swung shut behind them, his cousins transformed into completely different people. Lighter, happier and far more open than they had been before and the florist finally understood that he wasn't the only one who found this family a heavy weight to bear.
Even Dora, as irrepressible as she was, relaxed visibly and started grilling Bilbo on the years he'd been away. Though when they got to his boyfriend, she just let her cousin ramble, watching him with a hint of amusement on her face.
“I like him, cousin,” She whispered once the florist finally trailed off, nodding toward Kíli who was chatting with Primula about her job. “He has more life in him than most of our in-laws and he seems to make you happy.”
“That he does,” Bilbo told her, looking at Kíli with a fond smile. “I haven't been this happy in a long time.”
“Good. I think we could all use a bit more love in our lives,” She said solemnly before breaking out in a wicked grin. “He doesn't have any hot single relatives does he? Someone looking for a little fun?”
“Well I should warn you that his family is absolutely crazy in their own way, but most of them are also ridiculously attractive. So I could ask,” The florist offered with a shrug, before reaching out to tap his boyfriend's arm. “Hey, is your brother single? Inquiring minds would like to know.”
“Fíli? Last time I checked he was too busy becoming a lawyer to have time for dating, so I guess so.” Kíli replied, slowing down to walk by Bilbo's side before quirking an eyebrow and asking, “Why?”
“Just curious,” Dora told him with a grin and before the barista could interrogate her further, Legolas announced that they had arrived. This house is seriously ridiculous if it took us that long to walk to the kitchen, the florist mused, but he had to admit that it was impressive nonetheless. Because the room was truly enormous, full of fancy professional equipment which he didn't even have a name for and caterers running to and fro.
The blond led his group to an unoccupied corner, settling them around a table before running off to grab some trays. When he returned, Legolas swept off their covers with a flourish and presented his prize.
“Here we are. Homemade chicken rolls with feta and bacon, from my personal stash. I always bring some food along with me when father makes me work these things, so that I don't have to eat this other crap.” He explained, flopping down gracefully onto another kitchen stool.
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“Of course bacon. It tastes fantastic and there's no food guaranteed to piss my dad off more.” Legolas said, unbuttoning his waiter's jacket to reveal the t-shirt underneath. Bright pink with dark red letters, it read: Join the dark side, we have bacon, and the teen smirked at Bilbo's startled laugh.
Now that everyone was well fed and comfortable, the reunion was far more pleasant and the florist was soon caught up in the discussion going round. He had a decade of gossip to catch up on with his relatives and the more he learned, the more the older man decided that he liked this bunch.
Even if most of his family was still horrible, finding this small group of friends was worth dealing with the others and when there was a break in the conversation, he leaned toward Kíli to whisper his thanks. His boyfriend just tugged him closer to his side and kissed him gently on the cheek before going back to discussing archery with Legolas, and Bilbo blushed beneath Dora's knowing grin.
Somehow they spent hours there, his cousins leaving periodically to check on the main party and ensure that they weren't missed. Adalgrim joined them briefly to grab some snacks for his children before taking the youngsters home and the florist was impressed by how his once feckless relative took to fatherhood. Awhile later, Drogo managed to sneak Posco back into the kitchen, the young man rather annoyed with his girlfriend but pleased to see the florist nonetheless. Or at least he was once he realized that Gilly's infatuation with Kíli was entirely one-sided and Posco agreed to pass his cousin's greetings to his sister as well.
But eventually the party started winding down and their assorted parents began to wonder where their brood had gone. So the cousins exchanged their information and promised to stop by Bilbo's shop sometime, before heading back into the lion's den.
As much as the florist would have liked to leave immediately, he knew that he should at least attempt to greet the old crowd before never talking to them again. This went about as well as he expected, but at least Bilbo could say that he had tried and keep his conscience clear. Then once his duty was completed, he was finally free to go.
So he gathered Kíli, taking his boyfriend by the arm and waving farewell to the gathered Bagginses. The party would probably go on for at least a few more hours, if only so Longo could prove that he was able to entertain in style, but the florist had had enough.
While this reunion had been surprisingly pleasant, dealing with his relatives still made him rather tired and Bilbo needed time to process what had happened here. He needed time to get used to the idea of having family back in his life and the older man was quiet as they prepared to go. Kíli seemed to understand his silence, filling the space with a comfortable chatter until his words suddenly cut off with a choked cry.
The florist turned sharply at the sound, his boyfriend's name rising in his throat. However, before the words could escape into the air, the world went dark as a bag swept over his face. He struggled, trying to reach Kíli but whoever held him had a grip of iron and when something slammed into Bilbo's head, the older man dropped like a stone.
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