(no subject)
Betrayal. I never knew that there could be this much evil, selfishness, betrayal, and rejection of true undying love in this world. And as of now i want nothing to do with it anymore. All the hope and love that i have always had is gone. The light has gone out of my eyes. I have been through so much grief and pain in my life but through it all i have held my head up and had hope.There was a person that was with me through thick and thin. For those of you who know what i am talking about and are guilty, i hope that you are really happy with what you have done. All i ever tried to do was love you and you trampled me under foot as you ran toward your never ending self centered desires.I humbled my self countless times and apologized for things that i was not guilty of to try and bring back peace. I was not completely innocent, but the last 2 months i have been. I fixed my problems. I see no way out of this despair and betrayal in the near future. I do not want any part in a world with people like you. Change. For those of you who dont know what this is all about, pray for me but mind your own business.Yeah it is live journal and everyone reads it, but it is the only form of communication i am strong enough at the moment for. We are not in highschool any more and rumors should not be started and gossip is bullshit. But i will tell you one thing, all a man has in this world is his word and God, nothing else. Truth gets you nowhere.Honesty gets trampeled under foot. Loyalty is dead. Its pretty sick when all you have to hear the truth through is filtered through rumors. And it is even sicker when they are true.I am extremely sick.Spiritually and physically. I have lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks. And this is no cry for help. I went through it before and i am going through it again. Life is a bitch. I want to thank my two supposed friends who were not mature enough and did not care enough about me and could not see past there own selfish intentions enough, to reconcile. No warning, No Love, No Honor. Betrayal. I never thought that anger would finally eat me alive. All i have is God now. He never left me. I loved you guys more than you could possibly understand. Held you in high regard.Betrayal.
It really sucks that i have to be the one who goes through all this, but i will pray for you both everyday and i will try and forgive both of you. One in particular will be pretty difficult. I feel so sorry that you both have to be this way and live life like that. I hope that you can stop running from your problems and face them and become better people. God knows that you both have great potential. I just dont know where it went. The ball is in your court now and i see that it has been for a while. Its time that you both stand up, grow up, get some honor, and become the people i know you can be. Running away will never fix the problem. Now i am left with a bunch of wonderfuly great memories that are starting to fade and i am starting to forget and that hurts so bad. I loved you both, but one of you i loved so much i would have stayed with you until the end of time. I gave you everything i had, and it was not enough. Enjoy your lifes and your wonderful summer, and pray that i get through mine in one piece. I am sorry for the past, i cant change it.The future is all that matters.
It really sucks that i have to be the one who goes through all this, but i will pray for you both everyday and i will try and forgive both of you. One in particular will be pretty difficult. I feel so sorry that you both have to be this way and live life like that. I hope that you can stop running from your problems and face them and become better people. God knows that you both have great potential. I just dont know where it went. The ball is in your court now and i see that it has been for a while. Its time that you both stand up, grow up, get some honor, and become the people i know you can be. Running away will never fix the problem. Now i am left with a bunch of wonderfuly great memories that are starting to fade and i am starting to forget and that hurts so bad. I loved you both, but one of you i loved so much i would have stayed with you until the end of time. I gave you everything i had, and it was not enough. Enjoy your lifes and your wonderful summer, and pray that i get through mine in one piece. I am sorry for the past, i cant change it.The future is all that matters.