Rant n' Rave
So, if you read my last post, wait does anyone really read this? Who knows. Anyways. If you have read my last post you will know that I am, again unemployed.
My major issue with this isn't the whole "I has no monies" issue, but the fact that it means I have to get a new job. I'm not really good at getting a new job, really. I'm mostly afraid of going to see new people, getting applications and turning them back in. I get really nervous and often will drive past a place two or three times then sit in the parking lot then FORCE myself to go in. And whenever I try and look for a job online, I kinda just stare at all the listings and go "WHAT DO ALL OF THESE EVEN MEAN!?" and sit there worried. I don't really know what I'm going to do with myself.
For those of you that are reading, I hope you had a good Valentine's Day. Mine was spent sitting on my ass, bored out of my mind. For pretty much the entire day I was alone and it rather sucked.
On the topic of social interaction, I think I am done with most of my friends. I'm rather pissed off at most of them. For example: I have a friend here in the same town, who I have spoken to about... Maybe five times since I returned to the country in November. He is supposed to be my best friend. I called him today, wanted to know if he wanted to hang out tomorrow. But apparently he has plans already. It wouldn't bother me so much but here are his plans. A 'friend' of his had his mother die in a car accident recently, (I did not know about how she died, just heard that her funeral was soon.) so he will be driving this 'friend' around all over tomorrow. I could see this as a noble thing except for one little issue. His 'friend' treats him like shit. He's an asshole, he treats his girlfriend like shit (Said girlfriend is a friend of both me and my friend.) And he's a general prick to pretty much everyone. He's the kind of person where you want to murder him just because he actually deserves it. Not that I ever would because I don't want to go to prison, but it's a good way to vent. Why would you do something NICE for this shithead?! It boggles my mind. And why never spend any time with me... Am I that bad?...
Maybe I'm just venting cause I'm so fucking lonely...
My major issue with this isn't the whole "I has no monies" issue, but the fact that it means I have to get a new job. I'm not really good at getting a new job, really. I'm mostly afraid of going to see new people, getting applications and turning them back in. I get really nervous and often will drive past a place two or three times then sit in the parking lot then FORCE myself to go in. And whenever I try and look for a job online, I kinda just stare at all the listings and go "WHAT DO ALL OF THESE EVEN MEAN!?" and sit there worried. I don't really know what I'm going to do with myself.
For those of you that are reading, I hope you had a good Valentine's Day. Mine was spent sitting on my ass, bored out of my mind. For pretty much the entire day I was alone and it rather sucked.
On the topic of social interaction, I think I am done with most of my friends. I'm rather pissed off at most of them. For example: I have a friend here in the same town, who I have spoken to about... Maybe five times since I returned to the country in November. He is supposed to be my best friend. I called him today, wanted to know if he wanted to hang out tomorrow. But apparently he has plans already. It wouldn't bother me so much but here are his plans. A 'friend' of his had his mother die in a car accident recently, (I did not know about how she died, just heard that her funeral was soon.) so he will be driving this 'friend' around all over tomorrow. I could see this as a noble thing except for one little issue. His 'friend' treats him like shit. He's an asshole, he treats his girlfriend like shit (Said girlfriend is a friend of both me and my friend.) And he's a general prick to pretty much everyone. He's the kind of person where you want to murder him just because he actually deserves it. Not that I ever would because I don't want to go to prison, but it's a good way to vent. Why would you do something NICE for this shithead?! It boggles my mind. And why never spend any time with me... Am I that bad?...
Maybe I'm just venting cause I'm so fucking lonely...