Which one should I do???
How to Get Rid of Your Roommate
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats
meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed
holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks
about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is
asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate
every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud
as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep
looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for
your roommate to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act
surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again."
5. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You jerk" and kick him/her in
the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.
6. Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been
watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell him/her that
you're not sorry because this time, they deserved it.
7. Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon as you
wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream
Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.
8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile
them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors
are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the
consequences.
9. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about
his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your
roommate a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.
10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in
training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
11. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate
you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was
home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
12. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Help! Where am I?!" and run
around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your
roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.
14. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and
the napkin. Throw everything else away.
15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same
room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the
plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.
17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats
eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
18. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look
at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
19. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back and
tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for
several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take
off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours
of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in
front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much
longer."
21. If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head
with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful
little..."
22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that you don't know
how they got there.
23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep
one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
25. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff
back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
26. Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the
tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here
somewhere."
27. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then
pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the
message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint
again. Keep this up for several weeks.
28. Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in he
building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too,
explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.
30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your
roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats
meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed
holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks
about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is
asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate
every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud
as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep
looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for
your roommate to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act
surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again."
5. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You jerk" and kick him/her in
the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.
6. Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been
watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell him/her that
you're not sorry because this time, they deserved it.
7. Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon as you
wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream
Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.
8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile
them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors
are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the
consequences.
9. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about
his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your
roommate a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.
10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in
training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
11. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate
you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was
home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
12. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Help! Where am I?!" and run
around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your
roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.
14. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and
the napkin. Throw everything else away.
15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same
room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the
plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.
17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats
eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
18. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look
at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
19. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back and
tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for
several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take
off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours
of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in
front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much
longer."
21. If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head
with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful
little..."
22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that you don't know
how they got there.
23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep
one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
25. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff
back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
26. Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the
tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here
somewhere."
27. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then
pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the
message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint
again. Keep this up for several weeks.
28. Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in he
building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too,
explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.
30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your
roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.