Can I get an upgrade?
I wish I would have spent more time with my grandma when I had the chance, now it's too late. I guess I'm realizing that life is short and people aren't always going to be in my life. Last week was rough, way to much was going on, it was very overwhelming for me. Going to my grandma's funeral was very hard for me. I met so much family that I didn't even know I had and it made me feel bad. I saw my father for the first time in 7 years. I knew he was going to be there and I was very nervous to see him. I think it took him a while to recognize me but when he did I just hugged him for a long time and just cried. I felt stupid afterwards because all this family I had just met was just sitting there watching me cry as I hugged my father. My dad brought his girlfriend along, she was very nice. She was probably early 30s if not younger, she had her eyebrow and lip pierced and she has an 8 year old son. Which made me feel kinda jealous becuase my dad probably spends more time with that kid than he does me. Anyways when it was finally time for me to go home, I couldn't help but cry again. My dad said he loved me, missed me, and that he would keep in touch. My father is not very realiable so I don't know what to think of that. He hasn't called yet and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't. I've told him before if he wants a relationship with his daughter than it's up to him. I'm sick of always being the only one who cares. So this time it's all up to him, sure once he proves to me he wants to keep in touch then I will put in the effort too, but for now I guess I just have to be patient. I cried almost the whole way home from Newberry, that's about a four hour drive. As soon as I lost sight of my dad after saying goodbye I had started missing him already. I just have to remember not to get too excited about my dad and not to put too much trust in him because in the end I always end up getting hurt because of that.