Comments | hjcallipygian: Of Those Chosen: The Twins

hjcallipygian

Of Those Chosen: The Twins - 04

Jun 29, 2004 10:18

Previous chapters can be found milling around the water cooler like a bunch of ruffians. Those damn kids. They need haircuts.

( Chapter 04 - They're Truly Outrageous )

fanfic-serial-twins, fanfic, fandom-btvs, fandom, fanfic-serial

Comments 6

ludditerobot June 29 2004, 07:36:32 UTC

Looks like the drama is beginning to start here. I look forward to more.

And it isn't like I surf the web, collecting a huge archive of JLH images to drool over like I'm some big perv.

that's eliza dushku.

hjcallipygian June 29 2004, 07:46:08 UTC

There is nothing pervy about drooling over Eliza Dushku. Perversion is a deviation from the norm, and it is normal to drool over Eliza Dushku. Thus, it is not pervy.

empressvesica August 17 2005, 09:51:34 UTC

*cackles happily*

Yes, cackles. I could lie and list some more lady-like form of laughter but I'm not. I'm cackling.

Whoa oh FAITH...
Is truly outrageous...
Truly, truly, truly outragous...

OMG. I just comment-sang. You have much to answer for.

Also, I really like the suggestion that Slayers would have a innate instinct about dusting vamps and, given the right stimulus, would find themselves almost unconsciously doing what their bodies are predestined to be able to do.

Oh, and this wasn't in this chapter - but I LOVE the idea what Willow's spell has flooded the Earth with Slayers and now they have to find one by meeting her behind a club for a smackdown. Someday I should actually write something with my "ripple effect" theory. No matter how you slice it, there is a boatload of trouble in that spell. As always, Uber-Magic was not THE answer, though it worked.

hjcallipygian August 17 2005, 09:54:25 UTC

Most of the point of this series is dealing with how that spell fucked a lot of things up. At the end of this one, Willow figures out how to find all the Slayers, but it's far from a perfect solution. That's what the sequel deals with, sorta.

I'm glad you're liking this story so far.

francis_eugene April 28 2006, 10:41:02 UTC

So obviously I'm catching up with Twins. Great story-telling so far! (I got a kick out your McKenna-The-Rain-God approach to getting Buffy out of the way)

I'm glad Faith seems to have remembered some self-control after all she's been through.

One of the things I like is the realistic, yet not overly detailed, depiction of the fight (some authors love to get into Clancy'ish levels of description of every strategy, move and weapon...boring!--unless, of course, you're Clancy).

My one minor (very minor) nit is I think this chapter would have ended better right on Katherine's "I'm a what?", and save the following exposition for the next chapter.

hjcallipygian April 28 2006, 11:16:42 UTC

Yeah, the detail at the end does break the flow of the chapter just a bit, but I wanted to be sure the reader knew that Cole heard what was going on with the Slayers and such in Cleveland.

I'm glad you're liking this so far. This story is a lot more rough than The Dreamless. I think one can see a significant jump in my writing ability from one to the other. But that's just me -- ymmv. =)